Dan Ratherisms

Not sure whether to wind a watch or bark at the moon, Dan Rather announced his resignation after 24 years as CBS anchor. With his credibility as thin as turnip soup, his legacy shakier than cafeteria Jell-O, and his fingernails beginning to sweat, Rather reached the point where he had his back to the wall, his shirttails on fire, and the bill collector at the door.

After being consistently beaten like a rented mule in the ratings, CBS execs apparently decided they'd rather walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit than keep him in the anchor chair. In announcing his departure, Rather insisted his grasp of reality was still spandex tight. But if you believe that, you'll believe rocks can grow.

In tribute to the legendary newsman, we invite you to read classic Dan Ratherisms from election night 2004, 2002, and 2000.

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