Barack Obama, Stand-Up Comedian

Senator-elect Barack Obama hasn't even officially taken office yet, but he is already joking about his political stardom. Speaking to Washington's Gridiron Club, Obama lampooned his newfound celebrity status with a series of self-deprecating one-liners. A few highlights:

"It's like I was shot out of a cannon. I'm so overexposed that I make Paris Hilton look like a recluse."

On the controversial Ukraine election: "Well, President Bush said he wanted to export American-style democracy and, by God, I think it's working."

On his Democratic Convention speech, in which he said that "we coach Little League in the blue states and we have some gay friends in the red states": "Well, here's an update. Since the election, that gay couple I knew in the red states? They've moved back to the blue states."

Obama also held up a mock-up of a supermarket tabloid proclaiming, "Obama's Shocking Secret: He's Strom Thurmond's Love Child."

On excitement in his father's native Kenya that his election would mean the building of billions of dollars in new roads, bridges, hospitals, and schools in their country: "I've tried to explain how it works these days. First comes the invasion, and then billions in aid."

"(The pundits) said you can't win in a year like this with a name like Obama. There was quite a bit of confusion at first, but it did get me free airtime on Al Jazeera."

"It's been a great ride. But I know how quickly these fads can pass. You all remember the pet rock, the mood ring, Howard Dean."

"I figure there's nowhere to go from here but down. So tonight, I'm announcing my retirement from the United States Senate."

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