The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes
Tuesday August 2, 2005
"President Bush believes Rafael Palmeiro. He said he considers Palmeiro a friend, and tests or no tests, he believes him. Maybe Rafael Palmeiro is the one who told him there were weapons of mass destruction." —Jimmy Kimmel, on whether Palmeiro used steroids
"President Bush is going on his annual vacation. The White House says he goes to his Texas Ranch to unwind. I'm thinking, when does he wind?" —David Letterman
"President Bush said that even though Rafael Palmeiro apparently lied to Congress about taking steroids he's a friend and he is standing by him. After hearing this Karl Rove started wolfing down steroids." —Jay Leno
"It was reported today that an anti-Hillary website has only be able to raise $12,000. When asked why Bill Clinton said that's all I had." —Conan O'Brien
"President Bush says schools should teach kids the theory of intelligent design, which says that the creation of life is way too complex to be understood by science and we should leave those questions for God. Of course, President Bush also felt the same way about Algebra." —Jay Leno
"Some sad news — King Fahd has died and, in respect, the Saudi family lowered the flag and raised oil prices." —Jay Leno
Read more late-night political jokes, updated daily.
Read more late-night jokes about George Bush, Karl Rove, Bill Clinton, the baseball steroids scandal, and other topics.
"President Bush is going on his annual vacation. The White House says he goes to his Texas Ranch to unwind. I'm thinking, when does he wind?" —David Letterman
"President Bush said that even though Rafael Palmeiro apparently lied to Congress about taking steroids he's a friend and he is standing by him. After hearing this Karl Rove started wolfing down steroids." —Jay Leno
"It was reported today that an anti-Hillary website has only be able to raise $12,000. When asked why Bill Clinton said that's all I had." —Conan O'Brien
"President Bush says schools should teach kids the theory of intelligent design, which says that the creation of life is way too complex to be understood by science and we should leave those questions for God. Of course, President Bush also felt the same way about Algebra." —Jay Leno
"Some sad news — King Fahd has died and, in respect, the Saudi family lowered the flag and raised oil prices." —Jay Leno
Read more late-night political jokes, updated daily.
Read more late-night jokes about George Bush, Karl Rove, Bill Clinton, the baseball steroids scandal, and other topics.
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