Bush's Booze Crisis

Has President Bush fallen off the wagon? The National Enquirer reports that Bush, who quit drinking after his 40th birthday, hit the bottle again amid the Hurricane Katrina catastrophe. A worried Laura Bush reportedly yelled at him, "Stop, George!"

Say what you will about the National Enquirer, which isn't exactly a bastion of journalistic credibility, but it's the only explanation for Bush's bungled response to Katrina that makes any sense. It also might help explain this, and this, not to mention this.

If Bush did go on a bender, it certainly wouldn't come as a surprise to the late-night comedians, who have been convinced he's been hitting the sauce for a long time now:

"Now here's some sad information coming out of Washington. According to reports, President Bush may be drinking again. And I thought, 'Well, why not? He's got everybody else drinking.'" —David Letterman

"Suppose he is drinking, who cares? He's the president. He doesn't drive anywhere, so that's not a danger. He's got the Secret Service right there to catch him if he stumbles, plus Dick Cheney is the designated brain, so it doesn't matter." —Jay Leno

"Now is a great time for President Bush to go on vacation because Iraq is pretty much under control. But a White House spokesman said Bush is using his vacation to reconnect with regular people. So you know what that means -- he's drinking again." —David Letterman

"I saw the president on TV. I think he's only had three press conferences during prime time. I though he looked calm. I thought he looked confident. I thought he looked focused. That's right, he was drinking again." —David Letterman

"In the speech President Bush said that as a country we have a calling from 'beyond the stars.' You know what this means? He’s drinking again." —David Letterman

"President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again." —David Letterman

"According to the folks at the White House the federal budget deficit is now a whooping $427 billion dollars. For a guy who quit drinking President Bush sure knows how to run up a tab." —Craig Ferguson

Read more late-night jokes...

See also: Bush: Drunk or Sober? You Decide