Port Security Follies

"The White House has given permission for a company owned by the government of Dubai to run six U.S. ports, including the Port of New York. Dubai was accused of supporting the Sept. 11th attacks and was one of only three countries to support the Taliban. … What's next, we'll put Mexico in charge of immigration? How about Dick Cheney in charge of gun safety? Courtney Love in charge of Olympic drug testing?" —Jay Leno

"That Arab company that was going to guard our seaports — they have agreed to allow a formal investigation into the deal. They agreed to it! That's big of them. I knew they were running our ports — I didn't know they were running our government, too." —Jay Leno

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More on the Port Security Flap
Editorial Cartoons: American Ports Run By Arabs?
The Daily Show: Harboring Resentment
Borowitz: Armed Cheney to Guard Ports
White House.org: Bush's Remarks on Fire Sale of American Ports
Bad Reporter: Things Could Have Been Worse

Bushism of the Week
"People don't need to worry about security." —President Bush, on the port deal, Washington, D.C., Feb. 23, 2006

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• Related: Homeland Security Follies | Late-Night Jokes | Bush Jokes

More Late-Night Jokes About the Port Security Deal
"An Arab country in charge of ports. That’s like FEMA in charge of disaster relief. That's like Wayne Gretzky's wife in charge of your bank account. It's like Michael Jackson as your nanny." —David Letterman

"On the port deal, a lot of Republican congressmen are saying let's not rush to judgment, let's investigate it and be sure of our facts. Gee, too bad they didn't try that before we invaded Iraq." --Jay Leno

"They're now talking about bringing in a guy from Dubai to run the country" —Jay Leno, on Bush's low approval ratings

"Even Tom DeLay is saying this port deal is a big mistake. He said if the people of Dubai want to be involved in our government, they should do it through proper channels and write me a big giant campaign check." —Jay Leno

"Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. You know what President Bush is giving up for Lent? Our ports." —Jay Leno

"President Bush, talking about the port deal, he said we Americans have nothing to fear from the Dubai government running our ports. I know a good way for President Bush to convince everyone of that -- let the Dubai government handle his security. Hey if it's good enough for us, it should be good enough for him." —Jay Leno

"President Bush is letting an Arab company run ports. That's like letting Robert Blake take your wife to dinner. President Bush said that the port deal is not a security threat. That's what he said, this is not a security threat. Remember, this is the same guy who said 'Mission Accomplished.'" —David Letterman

"Let's see what's happening with George Dubai -- I mean W. Bush. ... President Bush now says he didn't know about the Dubai port deal until after it was approved. Apparently this is part of the White House's 'Don't ask him, don't tell him' policy." —Jay Leno

"President Bush has okayed a deal to let the government of Dubai control six of our major ports. Boy, first Dick Cheney shoots a guy in the face, now President Bush shoots himself in the foot." —Jay Leno

"We're turning our ports over to the Arabs. We can't even turn Iraq over to the Arabs. ... This is like putting Bill Clinton in charge at a Hooters, it's not a good idea." —Jay Leno

"President Bush now is apparently giving an Arab country control to American ports. Does that seem like a good idea? ... If he keeps this up, people are going to start questioning his judgment." —David Letterman

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