Hollywood starlet Jessica Simpson created a stir on Capitol Hill during a much-hyped visit to D.C., but declined an invitation to meet with President Bush at a GOP fundraiser -- to the apparent dismay of Republicans. "It just feels wrong," said a spokesman for Simpson. It's probably for the best. The last time the ditzy pop tart visited the White House, she complimented Interior Secretary Gale Norton for doing a "nice job decorating the White House."
Conan O'Brien: "Jessica Simpson turned down an invitation to meet President Bush at a fundraiser. Yeah, Bush said he invited Simpson because he likes being around people who challenge him."
Porn star Mary Carey, meanwhile, was eager for her chance for a one-on-one with Bush this week. For the second year in a row, the former California gubernatorial candidate accepted an invitation to press the flesh with GOP bigwigs at a NRCC fundraiser hosted by Bush. "I actually get hit on more in Washington D.C. by Republicans that are drunk than I do by porno fans in Vegas," said Carey, whose film credits include such productions as Dual Airbags and Some Like 'Em Big.
Jay Leno Apologizes to Offended Viewer
Tonight Show host Jay Leno personally called a viewer to apologize for a joke he cracked about Dick Cheney's shooting accident. At issue was a sketch that compared Cheney’s mishap to a 2003 videotaped shooting outside a Los Angeles courthouse. Leno told the viewer, "I just want to let you know we make mistakes sometimes and we don’t mean to hurt people." Tell that to John Kerry.
Bush in a Word
"Incompetent," "Good," "Idiot" and "Liar" are the most common words Americans use to describe Bush, according to a recent Pew survey. Speaking of epithets, comedian Will Durst has a few choice words of his own to describe Bush and the GOP.
The 'Evil Twin' Blame Game
Claude Allen, the former Bush adviser and protégé of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas who was arrested on felony shoplifting charges, may have been mistaken for his evil twin, according to friends and family. Oddly enough, in a related tory, a spokesman for Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-OH) says that controversial remarks Schmidt made in 1984 likening young Republican activists to Hitler were actually made by her evil twin. You can't make this stuff up.
New Video Clips
• Former U.S. Marine and Democratic Senate candidate Paul Hackett lampoons his own political career and the Democratic party in this hilarious Daily Show segment.
• Share a few quality moments with the President's nephew, Pierce Bush.
• Al Franken appears on David Letterman and does a great impression of Saddam Hussein
• MSNBC's Keith Olbermann appears on The Colbert Report and talks about his ongoing rivalry with FOX News Channel's Bill O'Reilly
• Daily Show correspondent Jason Jones reveals the two assets Katherine Harris is banking her Senate campaign on.
• Two popular Cheney shooting parodies have won top honors in The Huffington Post's February "Contagious Festival."
View more videos...
Late-Night Jokes
"The FBI is investigating Americans -- just for opposing the war. You know, maybe when we're done establishing a democracy in Iraq, we could try it over here." --Jay Leno
"South Dakota Gov. Mike Rounds on Monday signed legislation banning almost all abortions in the state. As a result, South Dakota is changing its motto from 'Under God, the People Rule' to 'You should have thought of that before prom.'" --Tina Fey
"More people, particularly Republicans, disapprove of President Bush's performance. They're questioning his character now and they no longer consider him a strong leader on terrorism. Yeah, apparently there's a little more to this whole presidency thing than just not getting blown." --Bill Maher
Read more jokes...
Seen something funny? Send it to us.
Conan O'Brien: "Jessica Simpson turned down an invitation to meet President Bush at a fundraiser. Yeah, Bush said he invited Simpson because he likes being around people who challenge him."
Porn star Mary Carey, meanwhile, was eager for her chance for a one-on-one with Bush this week. For the second year in a row, the former California gubernatorial candidate accepted an invitation to press the flesh with GOP bigwigs at a NRCC fundraiser hosted by Bush. "I actually get hit on more in Washington D.C. by Republicans that are drunk than I do by porno fans in Vegas," said Carey, whose film credits include such productions as Dual Airbags and Some Like 'Em Big.
Jay Leno Apologizes to Offended Viewer
Tonight Show host Jay Leno personally called a viewer to apologize for a joke he cracked about Dick Cheney's shooting accident. At issue was a sketch that compared Cheney’s mishap to a 2003 videotaped shooting outside a Los Angeles courthouse. Leno told the viewer, "I just want to let you know we make mistakes sometimes and we don’t mean to hurt people." Tell that to John Kerry.
Bush in a Word
"Incompetent," "Good," "Idiot" and "Liar" are the most common words Americans use to describe Bush, according to a recent Pew survey. Speaking of epithets, comedian Will Durst has a few choice words of his own to describe Bush and the GOP.The 'Evil Twin' Blame Game
Claude Allen, the former Bush adviser and protégé of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas who was arrested on felony shoplifting charges, may have been mistaken for his evil twin, according to friends and family. Oddly enough, in a related tory, a spokesman for Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-OH) says that controversial remarks Schmidt made in 1984 likening young Republican activists to Hitler were actually made by her evil twin. You can't make this stuff up.
New Video Clips
• Former U.S. Marine and Democratic Senate candidate Paul Hackett lampoons his own political career and the Democratic party in this hilarious Daily Show segment.
• Share a few quality moments with the President's nephew, Pierce Bush.
• Al Franken appears on David Letterman and does a great impression of Saddam Hussein
• MSNBC's Keith Olbermann appears on The Colbert Report and talks about his ongoing rivalry with FOX News Channel's Bill O'Reilly
• Daily Show correspondent Jason Jones reveals the two assets Katherine Harris is banking her Senate campaign on.
• Two popular Cheney shooting parodies have won top honors in The Huffington Post's February "Contagious Festival."
View more videos...
Late-Night Jokes
"The FBI is investigating Americans -- just for opposing the war. You know, maybe when we're done establishing a democracy in Iraq, we could try it over here." --Jay Leno
"South Dakota Gov. Mike Rounds on Monday signed legislation banning almost all abortions in the state. As a result, South Dakota is changing its motto from 'Under God, the People Rule' to 'You should have thought of that before prom.'" --Tina Fey
"More people, particularly Republicans, disapprove of President Bush's performance. They're questioning his character now and they no longer consider him a strong leader on terrorism. Yeah, apparently there's a little more to this whole presidency thing than just not getting blown." --Bill Maher
Read more jokes...
Seen something funny? Send it to us.
Comments