White House Snow Job
Wednesday April 26, 2006
In what may be the Bush administration's boldest move yet in its war on irony, FOX News commentator Tony Snow has been tapped to be the new White House press secretary. Critics, no doubt, will make the requisite jokes about the White House hiring a new flak from within the ranks of FOX, its unofficial propaganda arm. As one wag noted, it will be a change in job title, but not description. But it turns out that Snow has been nothing if not fair and balanced. In fact, Snow is on record calling Bush "an embarrassment,"
"impotent," and a man who "doesn't seem to mean what he says."ThinkProgress has dredged up a litany of damning statements by Snow slamming the Bush administration. A sampling:
"George Bush has become something of an embarrassment." [11/11/05]Read more Snow bites…
"No president has looked this impotent this long when it comes to defending presidential powers and prerogatives.” [9/30/05]
"The English Language has become a minefield for the man, whose malaprops make him the political heir not of Ronald Reagan, but Norm Crosby.” [8/25/00]
"At one point last week, he stunned a friendly audience by barking out absurd and inappropriate words, like a soul tortured with Tourette’s.” [8/25/00]
It's probably just a matter of time before Bill O'Reilly is named the new secretary of defense, Sean Hannity gets the nod for treasury secretary, and Geraldo is drafted to head up FEMA.
Late-Night Jokes
"At a press conference, President Bush introduced his new press secretary Tony Snow, and the president said, this is a quote, 'His job is to help explain my decisions to the American people.' Yeah, then Bush turned to Snow and said, 'Good luck, you poor bastard.'" --Conan O'Brien
"President Bush has picked Fox newsman Tony Snow to be his press secretary. Snow once said that President Bush was an embarrassment, a leader who has lost control of the federal budget, and the architect of a listless domestic policy. Good thing for Snow Bush doesn't read the newspapers." --Jay Leno
"Sources close to President Bush say that the next White House press secretary is going to be Tony Snow, who's currently an anchor on Fox News. The Fox News anchor said, "It will be great to have a job where I can be less pro-Bush." --Conan O'Brien
Read more jokes...
See also:
FOX Populi (The Daily Show)
FOX News-White House Merger Completed (Borowitz Report)
Tony Snow's First Media Test (Extreme Mortman)
Tony Snow on Sex (Huffington Post)
• Related: FOX News Follies | Media Blowhards | Stupid Quotes
Comments
Tony Snow on Sex
The following are excerpts from a column that the new White House Press Secretary, Tony Snow, wrote for the Washington Times on October 26, 1989.
Post-Woodstock Americans have destroyed the old taboo about discussing sex but they haven’t disturbed the taboo’s essence, which is to avoid mentioning any of the important stuff. More words about sex probably have been printed since 1980 than in the previous history of mankind, but those words haven’t added a pamphlet’s worth of new truth.
…most of this verbiage and imagery concern nothing more than technique. There’s no mention of sex’s weird emotional impact. There’s no mention of passion. There’s no mention of the fact that sex is fun only when you do it right.
This brings in the subject of relations between men and women, which is more complicated and inscrutable than the relations between interlocking body organs. If you want to make sense of real sex, you have to think about people’s feelings, including the unexpressed and ineffable emotions that often give rise to sex. You need to admit that sex produces bewilderment, wonderment, fascination, confusion, elation, depression - virtually every imaginable emotion. Most of all, you need to screw up the courage to talk about love, if only to expose how shallow, pitiful, vicious and desperate loveless sex can be.
…Most studies now confirm that sex education has helped encourage sexual activity among youth. That’s probably because the classes have focused on technique without addressing matters of the soul. If we really want to encourage people to behave sensibly when they’re naked, why not dwell on the scary (and funny) aspects of sex - the late-night headaches, the early-morning heartaches, the vulnerability, the hilarity, the dangers of passions requited and unrequited?