In one of the ballsiest comic stunts ever pulled in Washington, comedian Stephen Colbert delivered a blistering "tribute" to President Bush at the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner. It was so edgy and uncomfortable that it was almost too hard to watch, as a cold-faced and stunned Bush sat just a few feet away with the look of someone who had just been ambushed. (Watch the video or read the transcript.)Acting the part of the faux conservative talk show host that he plays on Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, Colbert spoke truthiness to power as he leveled an all-out assault on Bush under the guise of mock praise. He lampooned Bush over everything from his low approval ratings to his handling of Iraq to his vaunted stubbornness -- and got in a few shots at the Washington press corps as well.
The members of the media elite and political glitterati in attendance gave Colbert a tepid reception, while the president and First Lady Laura Bush couldn't get off the stage fast enough when the drubbing came to a merciful end.
Highlights from Colbert's Presidential Smackdown
Following are exceprts from Colbert's comedy routine. You can also read the full transcript.On Bush's poll numbers: "Now I know there's some polls out there that say this man has a 32 percent approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' And 'reality' has a well known liberal bias."
"Pay no attention to people who say the glass is half empty...Because 32 percent means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass, is my point. But I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash."
On Bush's disaster management: "I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers, and rubble, and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message that no matter what happens to America she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world."
On Bush, "the decider": "When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday -- no matter what happened Tuesday."On Iraq: "I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."
On Cheney's hunting mishap: "To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough...Somebody shoot me in the face."
On the "fair and balanced" new network: "Fox News gives you both sides of every story -- the President’s side and the Vice President’s side."
On claims that the shake-up at the White House was merely re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic: "This Administration is not sinking. This Administration is soaring. If anything they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg."
On global warming: "[Talking to Jesse Jackson] is like boxing a glacier...Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is."
On the press corps: "You should spend more time with your families, write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know -- fiction."
Read the full transcript or watch the video of Colbert's comic assault, which liberal bloggers are cheering as the most monumental public flogging since Jon Stewart's much-ballyhooed Crossfire smackdown.
• A grateful nation gives thanks at Thank You Stephen Colbert.org
• Mark Morford says Colbert has giant brass cajones
• Firedoglake celebrates Colbert's triumph of truthiness
• Newshounds marvels at Colbert's heroics
• The Daou Report says the mainstream media has all but ignored the incident
• Extreme Mortman has a first-hand account of Colbert's unwelcome buzz kill
• The Moderate Voice has a roundup of reaction elsewhere in the blogosphere
• Related: Bush Meets Bush | Colbert Quotes | Late-Night Jokes | Funny Videos
Comments
Oh. My. God. I can’t believe Colbert had the cajones to do that with Bush sitting there right on the stage! He’s my new hero!
I seriously almost died laughing. EVERYONE needs to watch this video.
Giant brass balls.
One of my favorite lines was about his experience interviewing Jesse Jackson. He said it was like “boxing a glacier,” and then added “Enjoy that metaphor because your grandchildren won’t know what a glacier is.”
Colbert was so right on with all of his lines skewering both the media and the politicians. Truly hilarious but I found myself cringing since the audience clearly wasn’t laughing. Apparently Washington is humorless when the joke is on them.
I totally agree, wow it was so funny to see how the TRUTH hurts, it was painful to watch all those smug neocons squirm in their seats, we needed Scotyy at the end of Colbert’s speech to really put the sping out! Great job Mr. Colbert, thanks for having the you know what to speak up
A brilliant marketing move on Colbert’s part.
This is going to make him a very wealthy man.
The truthiness hurts!
I agree with the FOX commentators who said it was “inappropriate,” and “over the line.” You can tell by the reaction of the people in the room, it just wasn’t that funny.
Bush’s comedy sketch with the Bush look-alike was much funnier. Shows that political comedy is best left to the amateurs…
Hey Pamela, that was the whole point, it wasn’t funny, it was the truth about this administration and this President. The idea that you think Bush was funny with the double paints an even sadder picture.Colbert was making fun of the whole scene in Washington which has become ridiculous with the Scotty show and now Snow coming in from of all places FOX, it’s pathetic.
swede — I hear what you’re saying, but I just thought Colbert really was way over the top. There is a fine line with that crowd and I think he really crossed it. Maybe he was trying to send an unfunny message to the viewers outside the room, but I think from the viewpoint of those who were there and whom he was asked to entertain, he totally bombed.
what’s funny about 3200 americans killed , thousands wounded both mentally and physically for life, our environment unprotected by a corporate elite that is married to oil, a defecit that my children will be paying for many years to come, constant secrecy, privacy and rights invaded while there are over 5 possible criminal investigations currently going on against these people that have continually lied to us from the beginning, no pamela this was the Wake up call that this gov’t needed no matter how u slice it, irony is truth pamela especially when it cuts through the BS and that’s what these people are all about
Well said Swede. The cycle of violence and the loss of this nation’s dignity is not entertainment….no matter how FOX wants to spin it. I, for one, found Stephen’s speech courageous, brilliant, and certainly, entertaining if only to watch the look on Shrub’s face. Truth to Power courtesy of Stephen’s Big Ones!
There were a couple of funny lines — like the one about the government that governs best is the government that governs least, and crack about Washington D.C. being a Mallomar.
But the rest was really forgettable: What should have been an applause line — “Misery accomplished” — just bombed because his timing was off. He admitted to blowing the set-up of his “glass half-empty” joke about polling. And then, the ridiculous clip at the end where he is supposed to be the new White House press secretary being stalked by a vigilant Helen Thomas? Huh?
I’d give him a C- at best.
If you haven’t seen this, it’s brilliant. White House Correspondents Dinner. I think Stephen Colbert (and Charleston native and Porter-Gaud graduate) carefully, deliberately, sarcastically, subtly and cleverly (and in a way Bush probably doesn’t completely understand), rips Bush apart, basically in his face.
I Googled the event, and I read that most of main stream media ignored this speech, which is a shame, because sometimes the most effective criticism is delivered with humor as compared to direct attacks. The New York Times reported that the crowd had a lukewarm reaction to the speech and didn’t think it was funny. If I was there, I would have cheered and guffawed through the whole thing. I guess that’s why I wasn’t invited.
http://video.freevideoblog.com/video/AAC7FA18-2DDC-4D3E-B1BB-9D6CBD83E27F.htm
My favorite lines:
“… Wow, what an honor … to sit here at the same table as my hero George W. Bush, … I feel like I’m dreaming … somebody shoot me in the face. Is he [Cheney] really not here tonight? …”
“… we’re [Bush and me] not brainiacs from the geek patrol …”
“… unfiltered by rational argument … the No Fact Zone … Fox News, I hold a copyright …”
“… government that governs best is the government that governs least … by these standards, we’ve set up a fabulous government in Iraq …”
“… everyone has the right to their own religion … infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior …”
“… polls … reflect what people are thinking in reality … reality has a well-known liberal bias …”
“… 32% means it’s still two-thirds empty … last third is usually backwash …” [likening the people that still support the President to backwash]
“… 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing …” [this wasn't funny in and of itself, just good for Bush to hear this over and over]
“… he [Bush] stands on … rubble and recently flooded city squares … most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world …”
“… books are all fact, no heart … they’re elitist … I’m with the President, let history decide what did or did not happen” [no one laughed, brilliant]
[on the Rules of what White House Correspondents should do under Bush] “Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, W.M.D. intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn’t want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew. But, listen, let’s review the rules. Here’s how it works. The President makes decisions, he’s the decider. The Press Secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know, fiction.” [brilliant!]
“… your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is …”
“… [welcomes McCain back to the Republican fold] … look me up when you speak at Bob Jones University, so glad you’ve seen the light …”
“… New Orleans the Chocolate City … Washington, D.C., the Chocolate City with a marshmallow center and a graham cracker crust of corruption …”
“… Joe Wilson is here … his lovely wife Valerie Plame, oh my god … I’m sorry Mr. President, I meant to say he brought along his lovely wife, Joe Wilson’s wife …”
“… Tony Snow … SnowJob …”
“… I was vying for the job [Press Secretary] myself, I think I would have been a fabulous Press Secretary, I have nothing but contempt for these people. I know how to handle these clowns. …”
“… [the [Jeff] “Gannon” button on Colbert’s Press Secretary audition tape] …”
“… [getting Helen Thomas's biting criticism into the tape and in front of Bush] …”
“… [Colbert trips on a roller skate, this has to be a reference to Tudy (sp?) from Facts of Life?, Colbert says, "Condee," ...]
There were some funny lines, then again, the guys a comedian. It’s his job to be funny. But like Michael Moore, he very cleverly steered people’s perceptions away from the whole truth. Photo ops? Sure, Bush participates in photo ops. What President hasn’t? Is this something new? I still remember the daily photo ops of Clinton with little minority children gathered at his feet while he signed some trivial declaration or other. And don’t even get me started on the D-Day Memorial when he strolled the Normandy beach and “just happened” to find a little pile of stones with which to make a cross.
Shoot me in the face? I suppose that could draw a few nervous titters. Cheney had a hunting accident. Unfortunately someone was injured. What does that have to do with governing? And really, after joke #34,895, doesn’t it get a little stale. Lazy joke writing, that.
Iraq/Governs least, governs best. Uproarious if you don’t know the truth behind the struggles of that fledgling government and the distance it has come since there was basically anarchy in the few days after the invasion. It is the ultimate in dishonesty on the Left to try to imply that a country that has seen the turmoil and challenges that Iraq has should have a fully functional democracy up and running with smiling faces and food stamps for everyone in this short time. Then again, the Left absolutely depends on the naivete of people to believe this could happen.
Courage? Please. This is the United States. We absolutely thrive on mocking authority, and rightly so. No one is “disappeared” for making jokes about the government, no matter how scathing or unfair. No one is thrown into a political prison for speaking out against the status quo. It takes more courage to cross a busy intersection than it does to make a joke about the President. Mr. Colbert had absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain by his exposure. Please, don’t define courage down by using what he did as an example of it.
I could go point-by-point on every one of his jokes, but the intellectually honest know what I’m talking about, and really, why bother? It’s extremely unlikely that anyone outside of a few thousand poltical junkies even saw his performance at the Correspondents Dinner. His political satire show on Comedy Central is equally unlikely to influence anyone besides the choir to which he is preaching on choosing their next government.
Really, was it such a big deal?
There’s a new version of the Colbert video available that shows Bush’s reaction. You can see contemptuous headshaking, jaw twitches, lip purses and eye squinches. Watch it at YouTube.
IT IS BUSH AND HIS ADMINISTRATION, NOT COLBERT, THAT HAS PROVEN TO BE OUTRAGEOUS AND HAS CROSSED THE LINE.
Colbert displayed the problems of the
White House in a satirical matter,
to make it a bit more amausing.
Personally, I think he did a great job.
The only way he could of crossed the
line is if he slandered him with false allegations, but the fact of the matter is, is that it was all the truth.
He just shoved it into people’s faces.
Somebody needed to do it.
that was 2 years ago and nothings changed…
thanks for trying colbert we respect you for it.
bye the way if you have not seen “loose change” get a copy of it now..
Its called a roast. Its funny but the truth hurts all at the same time. When your the roastie. You know you better be prepared for some extreme humor. You either find it humorous or OMG. To do it with panache and not violating our first admendment. GREAT JOB ROBERT! *laughs* Bush has always accepted all the outcomes. Its a tough job to run the US. Walk in his shoes for a day.
Funny as hell. Colbert put his giant nuts on the table and never looked back. And you’re damn right he crossed the line, but I don’t think he went far enough. He should have ripped Bush a new a**hole on global warming and the NSA, not to mention foreign policy. Not exactly Frost/Nixon, but impressive nonetheless.