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Daniel Kurtzman

State of the Union Drinking Games

By January 28, 2008

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Bush Drinking Game

Break out the whiskey and shot glasses -- it's time for President Bush's seventh and final State of the Union address.

From the official State of the Union Drinking Game...

Every time Bush says:

• God (or any euphemism for God) = 2 drinks
• waterboarding = lean your head back and have a friend pour a shot into your mouth; gargle
• Mahmoud Ahmadinejad = 1 (+1 if he pronounces it correctly)
• Hamas (bonus if he confuses Hamas and hummus) = 1 Car Bomb
• 6-party talks" or "multi-party talks" = swap drinks with a few friends
• earmarks = tug on your ear while taking a drink
• discretionary spending = 1 to 3 drinks, your call
• unemployment = 1; 2 if he's referencing his own impending unemployment
• cloning = take an empty glass; pour half of your drink into it; fill up both glasses with the same drink; drink both
• a close-up on Nancy Pelosi (without the president in the shot) = 1 shot, taken without moving any facial muscles

Drink more...

Bush Boozes It Up

Need something a little stronger? Wonkette presents another State of the Union Drinking Game:

• Do a body shot off the closest human or pet when you spot: Jenna and/or Barbara Bush

• Finish your current drink when the teevee lingers on: Any member of the Kennedy clan.

• Pull down your pants and hobble to the bathroom when you see: Larry Craig

• When he looks all proud of himself for successfully, if awkwardly, pronouncing a common three-syllable word: Drink one Shot.

• Oh, and who is that handsome bulbous white devil behind the president? Why, that’s Dick Cheney! When he does “that grin,” you must: Grab another person’s shot, drink it, spit it in their eyes, take their wallet, then have them arrested and tortured forever.

Drink more...

And here's yet another version from political satirist Will Durst.

State of the Union: The Bushism Version

With the help of our Bushisms collection, the San Francisco Chronicle presents an amusing State of the Union address parody, constructed entirely from classic Bush verbal gaffes and other inane presidential utterances:

Mr. Speaker, Vice President Cheney, members of Congress, distinguished citizens and fellow citizens:

This is historic times.

The past is over. There may be some tough times here in America. But this country has gone through tough times before, and we're going to do it again...

I think the American people -- I hope the American — I don't think, let me — I hope the American people trust me.
Read more...

See also:
State of the Union Video Remix
2007 State of the Union Parody Video
The 50 Dumbest Bush Quotes of All Time
Top 25 Funny Bush Videos
Top 100 Funny Bush Pictures

Comments

January 29, 2008 at 5:33 am
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