While President Bush was busy providing unintentional comedy as he played host to the pope, Vice President Dick Cheney played for laughs at the annual Radio & TV Correspondents' Association Dinner.

In a comedic speech before the crowd of media celebrities and the political elite, Cheney fired off a barrage of jokes about Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, the recent hubbub over the reflection in his sunglasses, and his resemblance to Darth Vader. (Read the transcript or watch the video)

Unlike the train wreck that was last year's RTCA dinner, highlighted by the rap stylings of Karl "MC" Rove, Cheney was actually pretty damn funny. A few highlights from Cheney's stand-up shtick:

Donning his now-famous fly-fishing hat and sunglasses, Cheney quipped, "You'd be amazed at how many guys want to go fishing with me these days."

On "Bittergate": "Obviously, you're not the kind to look down on a 'bitter' man who clings to his guns."

On Hillary and "Snipergate": "She made an honest mistake. She confused the Bosnia trip with the time I took her hunting.

On "Cousin Barack" And Rev. Wright: "Barack Obama and I have had our disagreements, and frankly I do wish he would keep these things in the family. For example, I keep telling him it's time to start thinking about a choice for Vice President. He says he'll find a running mate just as soon as he's got himself a new pastor. I guess my cousin Barack has sat through some mighty riveting sermons over the years. If he gets elected, you're not going to want to miss those Washington prayer breakfasts."

On Bill Clinton: "I'm old news in this election, but I want a piece of the action. I'm fired up for my own candidate, but the feeling isn't always returned. I feel kind of like Bill Clinton.

On Being a Dark Lord: "Even my wife seems to think my image needs polishing. At breakfast today I asked Lynn if, deep down, it bugs her that people have taken to calling me Darth Vader. She said, 'Not at all. It humanizes you.'"

On Mo Rocca and Keith Olbermann: Among his other credits, Mo Rocca used to host a TV show called Things I Hate About You. I'm sure I've seen that program. Only I believe it's now called Countdown with Keith Olbermann."

On the Pope, the Media and Al Gore: "I met with His Holiness this morning at the White House. So between that and this dinner with the media, it's been quite a day for me. I spent the morning with one infallible authority, and now I get to spend the evening with a thousand of them. I was glad to talk to the Pope. It's rare that I run into somebody who's heard more secrets than I have...I'm modest enough to realize that all of you would rather see the Pope standing here than me. But instead of the successor to St. Peter, you're stuck with me, the successor to St. Al."

On His "Naked" Fishing Trip: "I get asked a lot about that photo. The most common question is: what lure was I using? Anyway, that's the last time I'll go with an outfitter called the Emperors Club VIP."

Read the complete transcript or watch the video of Cheney's stand-up routine.

The Comic Stylings of Mitt Romney

The presidential thing may not have worked out for him, but Mitt Romney may have a future as a writer for David Letterman. The GOP also-ran made a surprise appearance at the RTCA dinner and read a top ten list of reasons why he decided to get out of the presidential race:

10. There weren't as many Osmonds as I had thought.
9. I got tired of the corkscrew landings under sniper fire.
8. As a lifelong hunter, I didn't want to miss the start of varmint season.
7. There wasn't room in the campaign for two Christian leaders.
6. Word leaked out that nobody had bothered to search my passport files.
5. I'd rather get fat, grow a beard and try for the Nobel prize.
4. I wanted to finally take off the dark suit and tie and kick back in a light-colored suit and tie.
3. Once my wife Ann realized I couldn’t win, my fund-raising dried up.
2. I took a bad fall at a campaign rally and broke my hair.
1. There was a flaw in our campaign theory that "As Utah goes, so goes the nation." (Watch video clip)

Next up on the DC comedy circuit: the annual White House Correspondents Dinner on April 26, where President Bush will follow-up his song-and-dance routine at this year's Gridiron dinner with a final comedic bow.

Related:
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