Obama Jokes vs. McCain Jokes
Friday July 4, 2008
See Also: The Best Obama & McCain Jokes of 2008All of the late-night shows were in reruns this week, so we've compiled some of the best Obama and McCain jokes from recent weeks to fill the humor void:
"Now that Barack Obama is the Democratic nominee, Americans are going to have to choose between the 46-year-old Obama and the 71-year-old John McCain. That's the choice. In other words, it's a choice between the Hillary-defeater or the Wal-Mart greeter." --Conan O'Brien
"Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton campaigned for the first time together in Unity, New Hampshire, today. Isn't that cute? Unity, New Hampshire. For real. Their tour goes from Unity to Tolerate, Rhode Island; and Getting on My Nerves, Virginia; and then Crazy Makeup Sex, California." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Barack Obama said today that he is going to fight for votes in all 50 states. Yeah. That's what he said. Meanwhile, John McCain said he's going to fight for votes in all 13 colonies." --Conan O'Brien
"You know. People really like Barack Obama because he's an inspirational speaker. But he was not the first one -- I was checking my presidential history -- he was not the first candidate to use the phrase 'Yes we can!' Bill Clinton frequently used that on interns." --David Letterman
"President Bush spoke at a campaign rally in support of John McCain. They raised millions and millions of dollars, most of which will be used to repair the damage of President Bush supporting John McCain at a campaign rally. So it's kind of a wash" --Jay Leno
"Both McCain and Senator Barack Obama are trying to woo voters who are outside their natural demographic. In this election, for Senator Obama, that means trying to reach working class, non-Muslim white women who love America." --Jon Stewart
"This week, Barack Obama, true story, campaigned on an Indian reservation and the tribal chief adopted him. Yeah, the Indians actually prefer Obama to John McCain, because they still remember when McCain took their land." –Conan O'Brien
"According to the Washington Post, Barack Obama and actress Scarlett Johansson are email buddies. Apparently they email each other back and forth. So, you've got a 23-year-old gorgeous, blonde actress emailing a married presidential candidate. Well, what could go wrong there? Not to be outdone today, John McCain admitted he had been exchanging flirty emails with Angela Lansbury." --Jay Leno
See Also: The Best Obama & McCain Jokes of 2008
More:
Late-Night Jokes Updated Daily
Barack Obama Jokes
John McCain Jokes
Election Humor Roundup
Comments
Q. Why doesn’t Obama want to drill for oil?
A. He thinks it’s a secret money-making scheme between President Bush, T. Boone Pickens, and Jed Clampett.
Q. How did Obama end up campaigning in Germany?
A. He thought he was in Frankfurt, Pa.
Q. Why did Obama cut down the cherry tree?
A. His father said, “Axe whatever you want.”
Q. What would the US become if Obama won?
A. A real O-bomination.
Obama Jeopardy
Answer: Your Wallet.
Question: Where is the only place Obama wants to drill?
Answer: Change
Question: What is all you’ll have left in your pocket if Obama gets elected.
Answer: Wealthy
Question: What is Obama’s definition of Joe the Plumber.
Answer: Robin Hood
Question: According to Obama, what is the President’s job description?
Answer: Flip-flops
Question: Imelda Marcos is to shoes, what Obama is to _____ ?
Answer: A buffet
Question: What does Obama see when he looks at your 401k, your IRA, your CD’s and your savings account?
Answer: Rattlesnake
Question: What has less venom that a Jeremiah Wright sermon?
Answer: Osama bin Laden
Question: Who has bombed 2 less targets than Bill Ayers?
Answer: Half & Half
Question: What is your new net pay vs. Obama’s new taxes?
Answer: A nympho
Question: Who will screw you less than Barack Obama?
i HOPE OBAMA WiNS!!!!!!!!!!!
:):):):):):):):):)):):):):)
You got your wish, he won! …and we ALL lose.