Paris Hilton for President
Wednesday August 6, 2008
Paris Hilton has thrown her hat into the presidential ring, promising to take on that old "wrinkly, white-haired guy" and paint the White House pink if elected.In a spoof campaign ad featured on the Web site Funny Or Die, Hilton delivered a tart response to John McCain's recent attack ad, in which he dismissed Obama as just another vapid celebrity like Paris Hilton.
The ad calls McCain "the oldest celebrity in the world, like super-old. Old enough to remember when dancing was a sin and beer was served in a bucket."
While reclining on a chair in a skimpy bathing costume and gold stilettos, the 27-year-old celebutante announced her presidential ambitions:
"Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton and I'm a celebrity, too. Only I'm not from the olden days and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot. But then that wrinkly, white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I'm running for president. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude.
"I want America to know that I'm, like, totally ready to lead," she says. (Watch Paris Hilton's campaign video)
She then went on to detail her plan to solve the energy crisis:
"We could do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars," Hilton says. "That way the offshore drilling carries us until new technologies kick in which will then create new jobs and energy independence.
"Energy crisis solved! I'll see you at the debates, bitches!"
She signed off by saying she was considering tapping singer-songwriter Rihanna as her vice president.
"I'll see you at the White House," Hilton adds. "Oh, and I might paint it pink. Bye!" (Watch Hilton's campaign video)
Here's how the McCain campaign responded: "It sounds like Paris Hilton supports John McCain's 'all of the above' approach to America’s energy crisis -- including both alternatives and drilling. Paris Hilton might not be as big a celebrity as Barack Obama, but she obviously has a better energy plan."
And the Obama campaign's official response: "Whatever."
Take the poll: Who's your pick for president?
1) Paris Hilton
2) Barack Obama
3) John McCain
4) None of the Above
See also:
If They IM'd: Paris Hilton and John McCain (23/6)
10 Reasons Paris Hilton is Smarter Than You Think (Trend Hunter)
Related:
Best Spoof Vides of Campaign 2008
John McCain Jokes
Complete Election Humor Roundup
Comments
One thing is clear. Paris Hilton is a lot more thoughtful and articulate than John McCain.
Ain’t it sad, when a spoiled it-girl produces a better campaign-ad than a guy with 26 years of political experience?
Paris Hilton will bring this country back into God’s grace
great campaign ad. this ditzy half-wit actually manages to outwit Mcain. seriously if you are outwitted by paris hilton, what hope is there?
yet again Paris has done an awesome job of utilizing events to boost her own PR… she’s a thinker alright
Paris Hilton may be as smart as Bush, but we found out a long time ago that he isn’t smart enough to be president. I think one of the qualifications for running should be a three-digit IQ.
Why, I’d vote her for her to be prosident.She add swanking glamour. I’m sure Paris must know a lot about how to select people for her adminstration – giving them low jobs to keep them satisfied. Then when the day is done, she would be out on the town, dancing and pumping up and down to the rhythm of the night music. Russia would be frightened again: Paris with her hand on the button, ready to let them have it, and suck them dry in a crazy frenzy of nuclear exhiliration. Amazing girl. VOTE FOR PARIS I SAY, unless you’re…..
Paris: if you do become President, please enact the following laws:
1. All ugly women to be sent to Afghanistan
2. All ugly men to be sent to Afghanistan
3. All hot girls like you to be put on the game.
4. All good-looking studs to put in the army
5. Anyone with the name of Dick Stribling to be given the right to have as much sex as they like with all the hot girls.
6. All hot girls to walk around in bras and panties, and in sunny climbs go permanently topless.
7. The US Congress to be sent to Afghanistan along with the Bush administration, Barack Obama, his supporters, and the same with that old guy McCain (where is his zimmerframe?)
8. Global warming to be encouraged because it assists 6.
9. Porno should be made compulsory for all hot girls.
10. Finally, Paris to be made President for life as long as she acts on the above laws.
No kidding – Paris would win hands down if she were on the ballot sheet. Check out a recent campaign comparison cartoon:
With all this talk of Joe the Plumber and Joe the CEO etc – we all know who Joe would vote for when it comes down to the crunch!
and you all voted for Bush……..??? what does that say?