John Edwards has been getting off easy. For a confessed adulterer with such a high profile, normally the jokes would be flying fast and furious.But because most of the late-night shows are in reruns this week, Edwards has so far managed to escape the kind of withering comic assault that hit other recent sex scandal figures, such as Eliot Spitzer, Larry Craig, and Mark Foley.
It also hasn't hurt that the world's attention has been focused on the Olympics and the Russia-Georgia crisis.
Only The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are on the air this week, and here's how Jon Stewart covered the story:
"John Edwards, presidential aspirant and author of the famed claim that there are two Americas, was apparently only faithful to his wife in one of them. Apparently he didn't realize that the National Enquirer had reporters stationed in the other America, where he was, in fact, banging his videographer." (Watch video clip)
Jay Leno had a few quips last week as well:
"I guess Edwards apparently met this woman at a New York City bar in 2006, and he is a pretty smooth operator. ... You hear his opening line to the woman? 'So, uh, which America are you from?'" --Jay Leno
"Well, Democrats are furious, they're going on record now saying John Edwards will not be allowed to speak at the convention because of this affair. Yeah, instead speaking in his place: Bill Clinton. You have to put your foot down." --Jay Leno (Read more John Edwards jokes)
The best jab so far came from Ann Coulter: "Lisa Druck, or Rielle Hunter, says she enjoyed her affair with John Edwards but the sex got a little weird. He'd chase her around the room asking her to pretend to be an ambulance." (Hat tip to Laugh Lines)
And here's the best headline about the Edwards affair, courtesy of Fark: "John Edwards: Billie Jean *IS* my lover, but the kid is not my son"
See also:
Funny Edwards Pictures (About.com)
John Edwards Cartoons (About.com)
Unsubstantiated Edwards Rumors (Colbert Report)
See Edwards' Mistress Dance (23/6)
Enquirer Publishes Photo of Baby with $400 Haircut (Borowitz Report)
If They IM'd: John Edwards and His (Alleged) Love Child (23/6)
John Edwards Limerick (MadKane)
John Edwards Feeling Pretty (YouTube)
Comments
One of Hillary Clinton’s campaign supporters said today that if John Edwards’ affair had come to light earlier, Hillary would have been the Democratic nominee, instead of Barak O’Bama. When asked what he thought of this, Barak O’Bama said, “The only way that would have been possible, is if Hillary had been sleeping with John Edwards.”
Riehell Hunter, the woman John Edwards had an affair with was in the news again. Apparently Riehell isn’t her real name, her maiden name is actually Druck, and one of her closest friends is named Pigeon. With all of that, is it any surprise that they ended up in a mess?
There once was an Edwards named John
Who we learned had us all conned.
Now his life is unraveling
For some “off road traveling”
But not one hair out of place? Come on!
I’ve often heard various folks comment on how wonderfully varied, complex and diverse the English language is, effortlessly welcoming foreign words and phrases ‘into the fold’. The depth of our language is sometimes described as a ‘bottomless reservoir’ of nuance.
I agreed with that sentiment, but no longer, thanks to John Edwards. I’ve been struggling the last two weeks for words to describe exactly how much of a douchebag he really is. And sadly, for the first time I find my native tongue wanting. The adjectives simply aren’t ‘there’ to accurately describe how much of a manipulative, calculating, reprehensible, scumbag, liar, phony, narcissistic, empty-suit, jackass he really is.
See that? My best effort to ‘capture’ the fundamental essence of John Edwards rings completely hollow, like calling the Grand Canyon a ‘really big ravine’. I would otherwise be embarrassed by my linguistic impotence, but I really don’t think it’s my fault. He has simply re-defined the boundaries of douche-baggery, shattering the power of words to define him. It is, in wierd sort of way, a mark of greatness. A legacy, if you will.