See Also:Latest Palin Jokes
Funny Sarah Palin Pictures
Sarah Palin Cartoons
Dumb Sarah Palin Quotes
Funny Sarah Palin Videos
Based on the early returns, it's safe to say that Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is going to be good for comedy...
"According to expense reports, Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska over $21,000 for her children to travel with her on official business. In fairness to Governor Palin, when she leaves them home alone, they get pregnant." --Seth Meyers
"Sarah Palin was asked a question by a third grader and she got it wrong. She apparently still does not know what the vice president does ... She says he or she runs the Senate. No, not in this country. You know I would never accuse George Bush of being a bright man, but when he was elected, at least he knew which building to show up to." --Bill Maher
"Are you excited about Sarah Palin? Well, yesterday she referred to Afghanistan as our neighboring country. Apparently, she can see bin Laden's cave from her house." --David Letterman
"This isn't a presidential ticket, this is a sitcom. The maverick and the MILF." –Bill Maher"She's not bad looking. She looks like one of those women in the Van Halen videos who takes off her glasses, shakes out her hair, and then all of a sudden, she's in high heels and a bikini. All of a sudden, I am FOR drilling in Alaska." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Are you kidding me, the mayor of Wasilla, Alaska? Yeah, that’s who you want in the White House during a time of crisis. When she got a phone call at 3 in the morning, it was because a moose had gotten in the garbage can." --Bill Maher
"Speaking of Sarah Palin, she said she's a life-long member of the National Rifle Association. Which may explain why she's in favor of shotgun weddings." --Conan O'Brien
Read more Sarah Palin jokes...
Sarah Palin in Her Own Words
"As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?" --Sarah Palin, in an interview with CNBC's "Kudlow & Co.""As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." --Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience
"I'm the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't.'" --Sarah Palin, as quoted by former City Council Member Nick Carney, after he raised objections about the $50,000 she spent renovating the mayor's office without approval of the city council
Read more Sarah Palin quotes...
Quotes about Palin
"She does know about international relations because she is right up there in Alaska, right next door to Russia." –FOX News Channel's Steve Doocy, gushing over Palin's qualifications, to which Jon Stewart quipped, "When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa."
"I'm not sure what she brings to the ticket other than she's a woman and a conservative." –Sarah Palin's mother-in-law, Faye Palin, who said she may vote for Obama
"She's old enough. She's a U.S. citizen." --John Harris, Alaska's Republican speaker of the house, when asked about Palin's qualifications for vice president
Read more funny quotes about Palin...
Poll: What word or phrase best describes Sarah Palin?
1) Barracuda
2) Maverick Hockey Mom
3) MILF
4) Pit Bull with Lipstick
5) Bush with Lipstick
6) Pathological Liar
7) Moose in Headlights
8) Dangerous Extremist
9) Rogue Diva
10) Caribou Barbie
More Palin Punch Lines
• Palin Falls for Prank Call (Masked Avengers)
• SNL Mocks Sarah Palin (NBC)
• Sarah Palin, By the Numbers (Huffington Post)
• McCain and Palin's 25 Most Laughable Quotes (Huffington Post)
• Palin as President (PalinAsPresident.us)
• The Vet Who Did Not Vet (YouTube)
• Sarah Palin Disney Trailer (College Humor)
• 'Hey Sarah Palin' Song (YouTube)
• Election Trains (Fark)
• Sarah Palin's Facebook Page (Holy Taco)
• Sarah Palin Gender Card (Daily Show)
• People Who Would Be Better VP Picks than Sarah Palin (23/6)
• Sarah Palin Quotes Generator (palinquotes.sillycloud.com)
• Sarah Palin Ringtones (Palintones)
• Sarah Palin: A Woman Who Forces Every American to Ask "Why Aren't I Running For President?" (23/6)
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Comments
McCain’s running mate is “Who?”
A woman who hunts caribou.
she’s a heartbeat away
from running the U.S.A.
Please tell me this just can’t be true.
Prince Obama is his name.
Being snobby is his game.
His attitude is God-awful:
“Can’t I just eat my waffle?”
Like a rock star, all he wants is fame.
The McCain/Palin Jokes You Won’t Be Hearing on Letterman:
1. John McCain turned 72 on Friday and apparently decided he deserved a really hot birthday present so he introduced his “Vice President” choice.
2. John McCain said he had to talk to his wife Cindy before making a final choice for VP. Well, of course he did, the wife always has veto power on any threesome.
3. Cindy McCain has to be careful. John has a history of dumping his current wife for beauty pageant contestants.
4. John McCain says he won’t need an intern when he moves in to the Oval Office. He will simply rely on his Vice President.
5. When John McCain takes office, he intends to be less formal than his predecessors. Instead of “Mr. President”, he’ll have his Vice President call him “Daddy”.
6. John McCain has denied rumors that if he wins they will start referring to the White House as the Playboy Mansion. He said Hefner has three girlfriends and the Constitution limits him to only one Vice President.
This is the dumbest blog ever.
Where are the Obama jokes?
Oh, that’s right – you can’t make fun of him without being called a racist, right?
I guess Obama’s “ideas” are funny enough.
Tom:
That was the dumbest post ever.
You do realize this blog reflects the contributions of its readers, don’t you? So where are your Obama jokes?
Oh, that’s right–you can’t counter that reflection when it’s so much easier to just whine about how unfair it is, right?
Why don’t you test your “racism” hypothesis by actually contributing some Obama jokes, instead of just complaining?
I guess you think your cheap shots are funny enough.
There are oodles of Obama jokes here and here.
A new support group: Alaskan Moose for Palin …. they’ll feel safer with her in Washington!!
Looks like Bristol and Levi will be needing a place to live. Maybe McCain could let them use one of his houses. After all, he has an indeterminate number of them and they’re all one big happy Republican Family. Yep, big Daddy McCain could even start a charity–McCain’s Home for Wayward Girls. Now wouldn’t that be a nice christian thing to do?
They’re going to put out a new ad: three photos, on left Bristol Palin, middle John McCain, right Jamie Lynn Spears. Caption: Who’s the biggest celebrity?
McCain for sure locked up the redneck backwoods hillbilly vote–oh wait he already had that.
McCain looks like the kind of guy you’d see down Soowwwth standing nest to an old pick-up with a shotgun ready to go squirrel hunting.
Good thing he went down to New Orleans to remind people of Katrina and George Bush–another Republican milestone of governance.
Does McCain look to you in the video of Palin’s speech like he’s trying to prove he can still pull the chicks? Is he gone senile?
Sarah Palin – White Trash Appeal
1. Be sure to wear a $2.99 banana hair clip (Walmart-style) to your national introduction as V.P.
2. Be sure to wear large hoop or long dangling earrings with business suits to confirm white trash roots.
3. Be sure to participate in beauty pageants where women are treated like objects.
4. Be sure to get pregnant out of wedlock, then elope. Her first child was born 8 months later.
5. Be sure to obstruct teaching sex education in schools thus ensuring underage daughter gets pregnant. Abstinence does not work!
6. Be sure to have a shotgun wedding for daughter who does not have the maturity to chose life partner.
7. Be sure to believe that global warming is not caused by humans (really!).
8. Be sure to run for high office without credentials to do so.
Too many others to list here!
What I like the best is that they are touting Palin as someone that all Americans can relate to. I’m not seeing it. For example, here’s a list of all the things that she doesn’t have in common with people I know:
Five children
All with really bizarre names
Lifelong hunter and NRA member, dead bear that she shot on the couch in her office
Husband is a champion snowmobile racer or something like that…hopefully, not while DUI
Against abortion in all cases.
Thinks creationism should be taught in our public schools
Moose burgers are her favorite food
Did I mention her kids have really weird names?
The Palin choice shows that McCain wants to keep a Bush in the White House.
VP Joke – Biden and Palin
The Democratic VP candidate and the Republican VP candidate are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to DC. The Democrat leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The Republican just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Democrat persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains” I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa.” Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The Democrat, now somewhat agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500!.” Figuring that since she is a Republican that he will easily win the match. This catches the Republican’s attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The Democrat asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The Republican doesn’t say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Democrat. Now, it’s the Republican’s turn. She asks the Democrat: “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?”
The Democrat looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his campaign workers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the Republican and hands her $500. The Republican politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The Democrat, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the Republican and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer!?” Without a word, the Republican reaches into her purse, hands the Democrat $5, and goes back to sleep.
McCain’s choice of Pavin for VP is proof that the movie, Idiocracy, is not too far from the truth.
Please.. I don’t want to see my country being the international laughing stock for another 4 – 8 yrs (potentially)….
What’s the difference between Sarah Palin and a Pig?
You can’t put lipstick on a pig!
September 5, 2008 Polling Polin
In the Alaskan town named Wasilla,
“The heart of international affairs”,
We watch the rise of a powerful Godzilla,
Seducing elephants and hating polar bears.
And her executive proficiency is thrilling
Although, specifically not identifying
She is a master of efficient drilling
Which evidenced by speed of multiplying
By proxy she is tough on the evil nations
She knows diplomacy in military style
She leaves the bite-marks of negotiations
Despite the lipstick on her crazy rabid smile
And while we’re proud of the new enlightening
By the eighteen million pieces of that ceiling
The carnivorous approach is somewhat frightening
And Hillary looks suddenly appealing
Such a shame, what a mediocre political event this has become
Palin? Biggest joke ever , she may actually give Bush a run for his money
and please, will someone stop showing her daughter and pimple faced bf, as if they did something GOOD for society?
He’s pro-war and she’s pro-life!!! She can
save the babies,to grow up, and fight his
wars!!!! What a pair…..
Check out Jon Stewart’s segment on GOP talking points re: women in politics before and after the Palin pick. Hilarious!
http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/1251987-sarah-palin
Wow, Sarah told another joke today. It goes like this: Know the difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? Lipstick… I laugh every time I hear it.
Democrats are sympathethic. They decided to let Sara use a teleprompter during the debates.
We in the UK are gobsmacked at the sarah palin issue. She may be a joke to many on here, but to us she seems a dangerous proposition. She may end up helping to run a country that is the last great imperial superpower, that has designs on remaking the middle east in its own image and steam rollering thousand of years of arab culture while ensuring that governments such as ours are dragged along therefor putting us all at risk from disgruntled islamic terrorists. Coupled with her pro abortion stance which seems to blind the USA’s christian right wing fundamentalists from war mongering, greed, corporate fraud, cronyism, homophobia, and general lack of respect for fellow man that republicanism embodies. Surely ‘jesus’ would have been more sympathetic with the democratic/humanist view that the pro gun, pro profit, queer bashing policies of messrs mccain, palin, bush, cheney, wolfowitz and all those neo-con imperialist jerks?
Palin is a joke but a scary one. There are enough stupid Americans that will vote for McCain that this totally inexperienced white trash mama could one day be president. God help us.
I like the comments of what a joke she is, I don’t know anybody like that, the stereotypical demo comments. Truth is if you had experiance outside of your 4-5 city blocks, and got involved in your community you would know alot more of these people who love thier country, work for thier country, and aren’t big fans of people like the above getting on here an talking about how much they would like somebody making thier decisions for them. I hope somebody someday make you cover your head every time you walk out side, or shoots you when you try to go out to eat dinner. You have it better than anybody else in this world, if you don’t think so it’s your own lazy fault. I think Palin is great because she presents some reality to the election. Biden is great if you want Washington all over. Has anybody thought about the fact you Dems are trying to justfy why the Rep VP is not more qualified that your Pres canidate. It’s scary to think about this, at least if the world becomes one community we’ll have an organizer, but then it’s not hard to decide what we where when the others are in controll. Hope you know what your voting for. Think before your speak, that’s what I’ve been taught in my area of hunting, working for what I have, and never wanting somebody to give me something for free. It’s a decent approach to life.
Palin brings “Reality”? Like pandering and lying? Not to mention the documented flip-fops. IT might be your reality. Not mine.
I AM A DEMOCRAT AND I AM SICK OF THE PARTY. KENNEDY, DEAN RICHARDSON, AND EVEN THE WOMEN LIKE NANCY PELOSI, CAROLYN KENNEDY, MARIA SHRIVER CAME OUT OF THE WOODWORK TO HUMILIATE, BREAK, DEMORALIZE HILLARY CLINTON AND THEN FORCED HER TO COWTOW TO OBAMA IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE NATION IN THE CONVENTION. THIS IS A SICK PARTY THAT SUPPORTS WOMEN ONLY WHEN THEY WANT ABORTION. IT HAS BECOME THE ABORTION PARTY OF AMERICA. WE WILL NEVER FORGET HER HUMILIATION UNTIL WE GET REVENGE.
I AM DELIGHTED TO SEE PALIN ON MCCAIN TICKET. SHE IS SMART, ELOQUENT, VERY ACCOMPLISHED. BEFORE YOU CRITICIZE HER, SHOW ME ANOTHER WOMAN LIKE HER IN THE COUNTRY. SHE REPRESENTS AMERICA AND AMERICAN WOMEN. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE HER, THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE ANTI-WOMAN LIKE THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY. PALIN HAS MY VOTE.
No. When Obama beat Hillary, Sara Palin said: “so, Sambo beat the bitch”. Real classy and intelligent for Sarah to say this. Don’t be calling yourself a democrat when you are just another lying repukian.
In step with her attempts to ban books from the city library, Sarah Palin called on Southern Cal to change their mascot to something other than “The Trojans”. She doesn’t want her daughters to be aware that they have a third option other than abstinence or unplanned out of wedlock pregnancy. She did state however, that she looks forward to being a big Redskins fan.
My joke:
The Palin Family: it takes a gun to into it and a gun to get out.
You call character assassination “humor”?
Look at the issues. Palin is a hypocrite because she’s all about “family values,” but has none that are respectable. But besides all this, I would really like to see the Republicans wake up to the real issues our nation faces instead of playing games and attacking Democrats. One side is speaking about problems and solutions while the other is making us try to believe that they, being corporate patsies, can relate to the rest of us. The economy, treasury, war, environment, overpopulation, and medical care issues are what’s really important. The McCain ticket promises more of the failed Bush program, which is a shame for me as a conservative. Real family values means trying to protect the future for our children; a future that Bush and friends have squandered.
The Palin-McCain ticket is a “Bridge to Nowhere”.
I have never been happier over a ticket, Go John and Sarah, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to hear some good jokes about them.
In regards to Sarah, I do not agree with everything she believes in but I do believe in her.
PALIN / mccain. (need I say more?)
“Bristol’s what caused that idgit curse. I knowed it when I heerd the fox barkin in th’ night.”
Very funny. Almost as funny as the nomination itself. Conservatives- chill out. It is a joke post. If you don’t want to be made fun of, don’t do stupid things with something this important.
Wow this election is getting pretty intense. If you ask me I say that neither one of them deserves president because neither one of them has actually done something. Both canidates say that “we need change we need change and I will bring us change” but neither one ever says how they are going to do it. It’s all talk and no action.
Hey, while you are all debating how many moose Sarah Palin can kill, McCain has figured out how to slip a Payroll tax increase in is Health Care Plan. McCain’s Health Plan includes the elimination of the current tax exclusion for employer-paid health insurance premiums.
If your employed, do you think your employer will continue to provide you with health care insurance, if McCain eliminates the tax incentive? If employers don’t stop providing insurance all together, the costs currently picked up by the employer would be pushed off on you.
If your lucky enough to get health insurance despite McCain’s plan, his deregulation proposal will ensure it doesn’t cover your expenses.
Please focus on the issues that make a difference in your life. Lower taxes for individuals making less than $250K, more education opportunities, health care for all Americans.
Please read the issues that matter to you.
http://www.barackobama.com
Wasilla is also meth capital of Alaska. Do you know what the difference is between a hockey mom and a pitbull? A: The pitbull has teeth.
Q: What do you call Christian conservatives oppose sex education for their teens?
A: Grandparents
They don’t want Sarah to speak… afraid she might start speaking in tongues… with all that slobbering, smeared lipstick, and flatulence.
Follow the DNA trail. It doesn’t go as far as you would like it to.
If mccain picked a peck of poser palins, how many pigs would pucker for plums?
This is where Palin got her kids’ names from!
What’s the difference between Sarah Palin and a soccer mom?
Sarah Palin was a beauty contest winner? Where? If she won it must have been the butt ugliest beauty pagent of all time.
http://www.todayinfuture.com
We make jokes and poke fun at the Democratic and Repulican tickets. I think I would rather have that Democratic ticket supporting me in a crunch. Sarah Palin is the VP choice – not the Presidential nomination – so comparing her to Obama is mute. Obama was elected – she was chosen. Sarah Palin can not and should not be compared to Hillary Clinton. I understand some women are disgruntled because Hillary was not chosen…but don’t get it twisted, going over to Sarah because she is a woman (and that is the ONLY reason she is on the Republican ticket) is idiocracy. Sarah and Hillary do not have the same type of thought processes. Sarah believes a rape victim should pay for their own rape kit, among other things. Sarah believes in family values. You must first be able to instill family values in your own family before you can instill them in someone else’s family. We can debate on which Presidential candidate (McCain or Obama) is the best person for the job or which Vice Presidential candidate (Palin or Biden) is the best from now until eternity. But the bottom line is this…which is best for us individually. Do we want someone who is going to continue the same pattern that we are in now (with a facade of change) or do we want a total new thought pattern that will attempt to bring about change. It’s our choice.
Another 6000 year old monkey, I hope you guys evolve and join the human race
Why do people keep referring to Sarah Palin as white trash?? She isn’t white trash. She’s nowhere near the white trash nastiness that is Bill Clinton. Now, THAT is white trash!
Well, how bout cause she’s an ignorant poser who contradicts herself every time she speaks.
Google Sarah Palin Pastor Muthee – Witchcraft – Utube. It seems he prayed her into the governorship.
Prophesy: When Sarah falls on her butt during the V.P. debate she will get up to show that her shoe laces were untied and insist she be allowed to do the performance over again.
http://mccainandthehotchick.com/
Sept. 23, 2008. Sarah Palin’s first visit to the U.N. where she learns what foreigners look like…
“Mrs. Palin, I’d like you to meet Kurt. He’s German.”
“I don’t care what kind of infection he has, he’s not going to be curt with ME!”
“Well, here’s the ambassador from Britain.”
“OOOHHH!! I just LOVE Britainney Spears! She and her sister are SUCH role models for my daughter. You know, even getting pregnant and all that!”
“That’s BRITNEY, Mrs. Palin. Wait, there’s the Russian and Finnish delegation.”
“What are they rushin’ to finish? Can’t they slow down a bit? I have some wonderful moose meat for them to try.”
“Uhh.. I’d like you to meet the Pakistani representative.”
“I’m so sorry. I think pachysandra makes a great ground cover but it won’t grow in Alaska.”
“All right, ma’am. Come over this way and talk to Michel Faoud, who’s Lebanese.”
“What are you trying to pull? She looks like a man even though she’s got a girl’s name. I know those perverts that like other girls are strange but this is crazy. Let me pray for her!”
“Please, Mrs. Palin. He wants to discuss Libya.”
“HOW DARE YOU????!!!! First you have me meet a woman who’s a man pretending to be a woman and then you tell me that he … she … or IT wants to discuss my WOMAN BODY PARTS??? Let’s go. I’m outta here!!”
“Absolutely, Mrs. Palin. Before anything else happens.”
Why doesn’t the press and the public just leave Palin out there by herself? Simply ignore her…don’t show up for her photo ops, don’t give her any press coverage, don’t show us the ice cream pictures. MAYBE she and the McCain staff will get the message. Palin’s and McCain’s actions are not working and we the public don’t want to see her because she won’t take questions/give answers to the public or hold a press conference. GOP, THIS IS NOT WORKING FOR YOU. I can’t wait to cast my vote in November…it won’t be McCain/Palin.
Top Ten Palin “Lipstick on Pig” comebacks.
by Liberal Don’t Think Real People Should Exist
10. I’ve had real men, with guns in their hands, call me worse.
9. In Alaska when we mess-up, we too have a figure of speech: “I’m sorry”
8. Perhaps with a few more years as an elected official he will learn not to jokingly insult half his constituents.
7. I can’t help but wonder how well an inappropriate pig metaphor would go over in peace negotiations in the Middle East.
6. Well he has a point; I‘d probably take him, if he would move up to my weight class.
5. Maybe Michelle can give him some pointers on diplomacy before his daughters are older.
4. I have a lot to learn about D. C., I mean cleaning out a pig barns for instance, I had no idea THAT’s how Freshmen Senators shove the stuff.
3. Seven months after giving birth, lets make this clear right now, “weight is not an issue”
2. Suddenly ever bodies is an expert on pigs. I’ve feed them. I’ve cared for them and let me tell you when you enter “their turf” they will squeal too.
1. I suspect he knows as much about “pigs” as he does about “McCain’s Policies”
I am sofa king wee todd it.
wytr ash:
That was pitiful. I am just trying to be friend, so please never, ever, ever post anything again that is a remote attempt at humor or whatever it was you were trying to do…yikes!
I think Caribou Barbie is a joke. Joe Biden will make her look like a fool when they debate. That is if she shows up. They are so afraid to have her do any type of interviewing on her own because they think she might get rattled and not handle it. And what is with her husband , is he a mute ? He won’t even testify in the local “Troopergate” investigation. That should tell anybody with half of a brain that she is guilty in her actions in some way shape or form. She reminds me of the “Tool Time” girl on Home Improvement. She could come out and say “And now, here’s John the Waffleman McCain !!” and then she could go stand in the background with her dorky husband.
“How much further, grandpa? Are we there yet?’
I am going to a Palin/Biden debate party Thursday so that we can Heckle and laugh at Palin together. Anyone have any appetizer or dessert ideas that would be humerous for the occation.
pigs in a blanket
Watch Katie Couric and Sarah Palin parody on Saturday Night Live & then watch the real interview…
Oh, and just for fun: See if you can see the difference. It can be confusing which one is which.
SNL:http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/couric-palin-open/704042/
The real interview:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbQwAFobQxQ
Side by side comparison:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqdfzi1Ega0
Sarah on Foriegn policy:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nokTjEdaUGg
Katie Couric Sarah Palin Interview Transcript
Heres a transcript of Katie Courics interview with Sarah Palin, from September 24 and September 25, 2008
Katie Couric: Governor Palin, could you explain specifically how Alaskas proximity to Russia gives you experience in international affairs?
Governor Sarah Palin: When you even consider national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace ofthe UnitedStates of America, Where do they go? Its Alaska, its right over the border, it is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are next to our state which is Alaska, the state closest to Russia, a country that is very big and large with large and big apparatus of the military, so as governor of Alaska I have the experience of keeping an eye out there for Putins head rear, which I do, and Im ready to call outthe national guard, which I have the power to do as governor, if Putin flies over to attack us, so why would someone make fun of, I mean, well, ya, its like so like, ya, the media- you know how they are, and I know who the good guys are and the bad guys are, so what I like to do Katie is I like to root for the good guys and support them and try not to root for the bad guys that could fly over into Alaska and if they do I have the experience to stop them which I can get ya more information on for ya soon Katie and I did put that jet on Ebay Katie and I told congress thanks but no thanks with that bridge to nowhere I supported, because really, when you even consider national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace ofthe UnitedStates of America, Where do they go? Its Alaska, its right over the border, it is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are next to our state which is Alaska, the state closest to Russia, a country that is very big and large with large and big apparatus of the military, so as governor of Alaska I have the experience of keeping an eye out there for Putins head rear, which I do, and Im ready to call outthe national guard, which I have the power to do as governor, if Putin flies over to attack us, so why would someone make fun of, I mean, well, ya, its like so like, ya, the media- you know how they are, and I know who the good guys are and the bad guys are, so what I like to do Katie is I like to root for the good guys and support them and try not to root for the bad guys that could fly over into Alaska and if they do I have the experience to stop them which I can get ya more information on for ya soon Katie, ok? And I put that jet on ebay and told congress thanks but no thanks about that bridge to nowhere. Katie? Are you awake?
Katie Couric: Hmm? So that must be what Charlie Gibson meant about a blizzard of words I dont even remember what question you were answering. Well, um, thank you for joining us today.
Sarah Palin: Yah, sure Katie, you betcha now okay bye bye.
Question: If the difference between Sarah Palin, hockey mom, and apit bull is lip stick, then how are they the same?
Answers:
1. Both have the same IQ level
2. Identical levels of foreign policy experience
3. Neither one teaches their offspring about birthcontrol
4. Both seem to have unresolved hostility issues
5.You cant trust either one not to bite you in the ass
6.Neither one gives a hoot about global warming
7.Both enjoy hunting and killing small, furry creatures
8.Pit bulls often have bite marks on their ears, Sarah Palin often hasear marks in her sights
9.Neither one reads Harry Potter books to their kids
10.They are both adored by uneducatedrednecks
11.Both seem completely oblivious to global warming
12.Many people favorlaws requiring them to be muzzled in public
13.Neither is being interviewed by the major media regarding the upcoming election
While I LOVE a good Sarah Palin joke, I’m calling for a moratorium. And I’ve blogged about why…
http://feelingsoblahg.blogspot.com/2008/09/this-needs-to-be-end-of-palin-joke.html
Here is my contribution – hope it is original:
All over the world, dumb blondes are now telling Sarah Palin jokes.
Well, you declared a personal moratorium just in time, since the website Sarah Palin Jokes just got started!
where did you hateful uniformred people come from probably the north east you sound like a bunch of yankees
During the Bush years we have managed to end up with the worst enconomy in history. He was elected twice. I lost hope in the process a long time ago. Either way this ends up it will be a bandaid or a bleeder.
i think #69 needs a history book
Hey Scott. This is a joke page, not a dumbass page. Just because you can put words together into a sentence doesn’t mean you should.
i didnt not know this was a joke page i would like to say im sorry for my coment #69 as far as robert that was a good one your still a ass but that was a good come back
For a fresh, funny, and smart new take on phenominee Sarah Palin, drop by I’m No Sarah Palin at http://www.imnosarahpalin.blogspot.com.
Caribou Barbie’s You betcha:
1-And would you like fries with that?” You Betcha
2- “This weather could be worst.” You Betcha
3- “Wanna shoot some Caribou? You Betcha
4- Wanna go on my snow machine? You Betcha
5- “We got at least 20 feet of snow.” You Betcha
6- “I’m from Alaska” You Betcha
7- “Want some moose burgers?” You Betcha
8- “A Polar bear is coming after me and is mad about global warming not being man made!” You Betcha.
9-I got a wolf in my sights, keep the plane steady!” You Betcha.
10-”Do you have my passport application?” You betcha.
11-Am I the most idiotic, bumbling Vice Presidential candidate ever? You betcha.
McCain claims to put America first but chooses someone who doesnt read national papers or magazines and cannot name any Supreme Court decisions. He put his campaign first not us. There is a 20% chance he will not finish his term. And we wonder why the world thinks we are crazy. Unfortunately, there is a whole lot of ignorant people in the US. But they probably dont want to know. Kind of like how religion lets folks off the hook by just saying “it’s God’s will.” Life’s easier if you give up control of your brain to those who are more than happy to take your money and your vote.
Palin is so fake, I can’t believe that some people are actually buying this god-fearing hockey mom crap. Suppose McCain gets elected and he croaks in, say, 2009, and Palin becomes president… Sitting in some trench in Siberia, we’ll all miss the good old days when Dubya was president and we weren’t at war with Russia, Iran, North Korea, China, the EU, Mexico, Canada and pretty much every other nation or independent territory.
Just because we wanted an ordinary American as VP.
Sarah Palin loves Van Halen. she knows all the words… and here is PROOF!
Politics? If You ask me i don’t care
but McAin is so old he barely as hair
where are the jokes on Obama nobody dare
Palin is a political square
Byden looks like a beaver in its lair
Making fun of everyone’s only fair
Palin is failin – wink, wink. I am not turned on by a permanently-dialated p-p-poser with mutant offspring.
to post (69) – the rest of the world cuts the US some slack because you really only elected GWB once. Please, please, please don’t elect his lot again.
They have nearly bankrupted the rest of the world, McCain will finish us off
and Palin as Prez aaaaaaaaaatgh!
To SHYAM & anybody else: if there is no other woman in US more intelligent, accomplished and with a less moronic disocourse, then I beg everybody not to vote for a woman at all -and that’s it! She is so narrow-minded and ignorant and displays such a want of values in her actions – it cannot be worse and even if McCain gets 2 mandates as Reagan, she as a VP will be a kind of vile Mr Beans of the world and make GW Bush look bright!
My fellow prisoners, are we like totally into bondage now? You bethcha.
What do Osama and Obama have in common, besides their muslim roots? Answer: They’re both friends with someone who bombed the pentagon.
(83), It’s not funny cause it doesn’t make any sense. Probably shouldn’t even try again. Republicans are never funny because they live in la-la land where evil lurks around every corner (projected of course by their own shadow brain stem).
Did you know Sarah has a body piercing down there in the lower “hood”? The technician who did it had to burn incense and wear a mast. This type of piercing is known to cause a chalk-board screeching voice at times followed by a long sigh.
more about Sarah Palin quotes: http://whatsarahpalinsaid.blogspot.com/
Alaska has found power was hers to abuse,
Yet Palin insists it was all misconstrued.
Aren’t we tired of the lies?
And her “Drill Baby!” cries?
I can’t wait til November 5 when she is just old news!
McCain/Palin * New Slogan* Incontinent and Incompetent!
Palin’s future is assured. Even if she loses her bid for Vice President, and gets impeached as Alaska’s Governor, she still has a career as Tina Fey’s stunt double.
Tell George Bush to stop immitating me… quack, quack, quack!
Q: What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and her womb?
A: Not everything that comes out of her womb is retarded!
When all this is over,Sarah and Cheney should go hunting together. They could appologize for being shot by each other.
The story about Ashley Todd lying about being beaten by an O supporter? I could have told you she is mentally unstable. All McCain supporters are.
To number 26 – you have got to be kidding!
When Palin was in charge, rape victims were charged for the police rape kits! No other victims of all other crimes are asked to pay for the forensics kits in Alaska.
Furthermore, Palin hasn’t even acknowledged the Ledbetter court case where a woman was denied equal pay for equal work simply because she didn’t discover this crime in under 180 days! Why hasn’t Palin spoken out on that?
Even worse, McCain would appear to actually support that decision – how appalling.
And you think that all rape/incest victims should be forced to bear the baby of the man that raped them as well as charge them for the police rape kit.
How cold hearted are you?
I’m a woman but I certainly would not vote for Palin just because she is one.
I live in the UK and no women I know want Palin to be VP – she makes all women look bad, not to mention that the thought of her hand on the doomsday button is a frightening scenario.
She says she believes in the end of the world.
That’s because she will be able to bring it on single-handedly!!!
I think I will watch Dr. Strangelove now!
I’m a fourteen year-old homeschooler, and I am so fed up with people attacking the candidates and political parties like this. I’m well aware that the Constitution promises freedom of speech, and that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and their own political views, but we’ve lowered ourselves to name-calling and thumbing our noses at each other. We’re all mature people, right? So why are we doing this? Can’t we all get along? Many of my best friends have very different views than I do, but we get along fine. And we’re teenagers. We DO know what’s going on in the world of politics today, we’re taking government class, we know what we’re talking about, just like everyone else does. But we don’t let our opposing views keep us from getting along. Why can’t adults do the same? Can’t you all just respect each other? And as for this comment board, or any comment board, jokes on the candidates are fine – many of them are very well-written and very funny – but when jokes turn into abuse . . . That has to stop. I can only conclude by saying that I am eagerly counting the days until this election is over and DONE WITH, so that all this can stop. But will it stop if so many Americans are behaving in such an immature fashion?
MCCain’s favorite dishes:
Chocolate Moose
(Post 4th Nov)Baked Alaska
(In the unlikely event McCain-Palin makes it to the White House)
Heard at the Oval office post midnight:
Palin: Drill, baby, drill
McCain: *huff*, *puff*…catching breath…”wait…I’m lookin’ for some alternative energy”
Joe the Plumber: I think we’ve got somethin’ leakin’ in here!
Whats the difference between sarah palin’s mouth and her birth canal?
Not everything to come out of her birth canal is retarded.
This is no joke. Voting republicans again is like signing a death setence for thousands more innocent people in the middle east. It will bring the USA such shame. She is not just dangerous for all the things she believes in, she is even more dangerous for all the things she doesn’t have a clue about.
Dont hate me for this joke
Whats the difference between Palin’s mouth and her vagina?
Only 1/5 of what comes out of her vagina is retarded.
Nov.4. Go home you dumb witch! You lost!!
Shyam, why the all caps? Easy now. smart, eloquent, and very accomplised? I want some of what you’re smoking…
Try and imagine in your mind a McCain/Palin presidency and ask yourself: “What would happen to our country?” Rod Serling or Alfred Hitchcock, or even Stephen King couldn’t imagine anything scarier!!!
Sarah Palin is a breathe of fresh air. I say kick all the old Dem’s out. All they know is to tax and spend and to hell with the American people. Their the party of Nasty.
Nice try sharon, now go screw thyself.
the best name for sarah palin is bible spice.
since scary spice was already taken.