GOP Convention Humor Highlights

"Governor Sarah Palin gave her speech tonight at the GOP Convention, and it gave people who didn't know anything about her the chance to finally meet her, you know, like John McCain." --Jay Leno

"Delegates were captivated by Palin's speech; at one point while she was speaking, the room got so quiet, you could hear Larry Craig's toilet flush." --David Letterman

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GOP Convention Highlights

Best dressed: Cindy McCain, whose convention outfit reportedly cost $300,000. That's enough to buy another house, but remember, it's the Obamas who are supposedly the elitists in this race.

Warmest embrace by the Republican establishment: Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin's baby daddy and a self-described "f**king redneck", who found himself on stage alongside McCain and Palin after her acceptance speech. As TMZ noted, unprotected sex has its perks.

Most unnecessary revelation: Fred Thompson felt compelled to share the following tidbit about McCain's wild youth, saying, "In high school and the Naval Academy, John earned the reputation as a trouble-maker. He was the leader of the trouble-makers. In Pensacola in flight school, he did drive a Corvette and date a girl who worked in a bar as an (hand quotes) exotic dancer under the name of Marie: The Flame of Florida.'"

Best lie: "I told Congress, 'Thanks, but no thanks,' on that Bridge to Nowhere." --Sarah Palin, who was for the Bridge to Nowhere before she was against it (Read more Palin lies)

Best convention giveaway: The Log Cabin Republicans' black condoms featuring Barack Obama's face surrounded by a red circle and slash. At least someone in the Republican party still believes in safe sex.

Best spit shine: 7-year-old Piper Palin, who while holding brother Trig during her mother's acceptance speech, was seen licking her hand and smoothing the baby's hair

Most blatant hypocrisy on Palin: A tie between Karl Rove, Bill O'Reilly, and Dick Morris, as evidenced in this must-see Daily Show segment

Best summary of the McCain platform: While attempting to argue that McCain would constitute a change from the last eight years, Tom Ridge hilariously declared that "John Bush" is his own man.

Best anagrams for Sarah Palin: Nasal Harpi and Las Piranha (thanks to Josh Greenberg)

Best jab at Palin by fellow conservatives: Pundits Peggy Noonan and Mike Murphy, who were caught on a hot mic on MSNBC calling the Palin pick "gimmicky," "cynical" and pure "political bulls**t"

Runner up: Ben Stein, who said, "She should have Henry Kissinger babysitting her."

Fuzziest math: Mike Huckabee's claim that Palin got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president. Palin got a grand total of 1,525 votes in her two mayoral bids. Biden got 76,165 votes in the 23 states where he was on the ballot.

Best flash back: George H.W. Bush, checking his watch while Laura Bush was speaking

Funniest moment: NBC's Andrea Mitchell getting attacked by balloons at the end of the convention. Take that, liberal media elite.

See also:
Funny Palin Pictures
Sarah Palin Cartoons
Sarah Palin Jokes
John McCain Jokes