Top 10 Sarah Palin Excuses For Turkey Slaughter

David Letterman had some fun at Sarah Palin's expense in reaction to her turkey pardon fiasco. Palin has been subjected to widespread ridicule after she pardoned a turkey for Thanksgiving, and then gave an interview while turkeys were slaughtered in the background.

Here are Letterman's "Top 10 Sarah Palin Excuses For the Turkey Slaughter":

10. I can see Russia, but I can't see what's going on 5 feet behind me
9. Not thinking straight after spending all night reading every newspaper and magazine
8. Damn "gotcha" media got me again!
7. My Remington shotgun says I don't need an excuse
6. Those were Al Qaeda turkeys 5. I thought they were just toruting the little guy
4. I mean, doggonit, you know, like we have to lower taxes, and like, it all falls under job security, and we need to drill, you know?
3. Uh, stomach flu?
2. I'll get right back to ya! I'm still adorable, America
1. Don't blame me! Blame Joe the Turkey Slaughterer (Watch video clip)

Jay Leno also piled on: "Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey is also a country. Did you see that all over the Internet today? While Sarah Palin was pardoning a turkey, right behind her was a guy slaughtering turkeys. But, see, like most Internet stories, a little half-true. Turns out that, after a couple of minutes listening to Sarah Palin's voice, the turkeys said 'Kill us now.'"

Keith Olbermann weighed in on "Wattlegate" as well: "What's the difference between a hockey mom and a mass turkey-murdering machine? Looks like about 15 feet."

Slate presents Sarah Palin's Turkey Interview Outtakes. Wait until you see what else she didn't notice!

This Just In:

• The Borowitz Report brings us Sarah Palin's Thankfulnesses: "The first thankfulness being that I'm thankful for this turkey, and also too for the metal funnel thingy that cut the turkey's head clean off while it was flapping its wings trying to get out and all. That was fun."

• The Daily Show recaps Sarah Palin's Greatest Hits

• Bill Clinton impersonator Darrell Hammond stops by Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update" to talk about Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State

• SNL presents a special obsenity-laced message from Obama chief of staff Rahm Emanuel

• Humorist Bill Shein looks at Bush's last-minute initiatives