Top 10 Late-Night Jokes About Bristol Palin
Friday June 12, 2009
Sarah Palin and her supporters have been fulminating about the joke Letterman told about her daughter, which they insist was aimed at her 14-year-old, Willow.
Never mind that it is perfectly obvious to any rational-minded person that the joke was aimed at her 18-year-old daughter, Bristol -- you know, the one who already got knocked up and has been a frequent butt of late-night jokes and other humor. Palin and company are having none of it.
To help enlighten the comedically challenged, I've dug through the archives and compiled a list of late-night jokes about Bristol Palin, going back to last September. During that time the comedians have cracked about two dozen jokes about Bristol related to sexual promiscuity, and exactly zero about Willow.
In other words, there is an established pattern to this kind of joke about Bristol Palin, and Letterman's was the latest in a series. If nothing else, this compilation should prove that this territory is nothing new for the late-night comics.
Top 10 Late-Night Jokes About Bristol Palin
1. "In an interview with Fox News, Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter, 18-year-old Bristol Palin -- remember Bristol Palin, who had the baby? Well, she talked in the interview. She said, 'A year ago, I never would have thought I would become a mom or that my mom was going to be chosen to be a vice presidential candidate.' Oddly enough, both things happened because some guy failed to take the proper precautions." --Jay Leno
2. "It's true, John McCain's running mate, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, has revealed that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. Palin said, 'We should never have introduced her to John Edwards.'" --Conan O'Brien
3. "Some sad news. Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's daughter, has broken up with babydaddy Levi Johnston. I was stunned when I heard. I mean, really, if two kids without a decent education and no jobs and a baby can't make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?" --Jay Leno
4. "You know who is really, really happy that John McCain did not win last night? The boyfriend of Sarah Palin's daughter. He doesn't have to get married now. 'Whew, thank God!'" --Jay Leno
5. "Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson have broken up. That's right. That's right. And apparently it was not that big a surprise. Even the Russians saw it coming." -- David Letterman
6. "One awkward moment, though, during the game. Maybe you heard about it, maybe you saw it on one of the highlight reels, one awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game. During the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez." --David Letterman
7. "Experts say -- this is interesting -- that since Sarah Palin became the vice presidential nominee, there's been an actual spike in the sales of her style of eyeglasses. Gone way up. Yeah. Yeah, with Palin's glasses, you'll be able to see everything, except what the hell your teenage daughter's up to." --Conan O'Brien
8. "Did you see what Sarah Palin said yesterday? She made a speech in Alaska and she said that the money the federal government is sending to states to help bail out, well that's not good, because that's the federal government getting in there and trying to 'control people.' Yes that's right, Sarah, it's all about the Federal Reserve making your daughter use a condom." --Bill Maher
9. "Saturday night, Sarah Palin is going to drop the first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers' hockey game. Then Palin will spend the rest of the game trying to keep the hockey players out of her daughter's penalty box." --Conan O'Brien
10. "The Republican Convention is under way. The theme for tonight's Republican Convention is, 'Who is John McCain?' Tomorrow night's theme is, 'Who forgot to check if the Vice President's daughter is pregnant?'" --Conan O'Brien
Read more jokes about Bristol Palin and Sarah Palin.
Related:
Letterman Apologizes to Palin For Joke About Daughter
Letterman's First Response to Flap Over Palin Joke
Best Sarah Palin Humor
Latest Late-Night Jokes
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(Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)
Comments
you ever wonder if there is some Russian politician claiming to be savy at foreign policy because she can see Alaska from her backyard?
So where are the Letterman jokes about Obama’s children?
Where is the right-wing fatwa against Conan and O’Brien and Jay Leno? To be consistent, should all you nutjobs be railing against them too for daring to poke fun at Bristol Palin?
Who kicked the rock that allowed David Letterman out. Someone needs to return the creature to its place, and put the rock back.
You’re as big of an idiot at Letterman if you think this joke was “obviously directed at Bristol.” It was Willow who was with the Gov in NY, it was Willow who was at the ball game but of course Letterman MUST have been talking about someone who wasn’t even there! Please – don’t insult us with your support of a spineless male chauvinist.
Re Conan O’Brien’s joke about the Flyers hockey game:
I notice Bristol wasn’t at that game either.
http://ballhype.com/video/sarah_palin_drops_first_puck_gets_booed_at_flyers_game/
Which means, of course, that Conan was joking about the gang-rape of Willow Palin! Or even worse…Piper!
Wonder where the outrage was then.
This is exactly why we do not need Palin running the USA or even assisting with it. She is so full of drama, twists and turns. And we get enough of that on Fox News.
This is exactly why we do not need Palin running the USA or even assisting with it. She is so full of drama, twists and turns. And we get enough of that on Fox News.
Viva David Letterman! Any comedian that roasts right-wing whores like Sarah Palin has my support.
Who would have expected Levi Johnston to emerge as the voice of reason in this ridiculous Palin/Letterman nontroversy.
http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2009/06/levi_takes_lettermans_side.php
isn’t it true that even the mafia dosen’t attack the children?
is it better that jokes are pointed at a 18yr old as opposed to 14yr old?
when Obama’s children have their periods will this become a mini series?
The joke makes no sense if it were about the 14-year-old. Who knows or gives a damn which daughter, if any, was with Palin at the game. The 18-year-old was the one who had been “knocked up.” She wasn’t “raped,” She had sex and got pregnant. Rodriguez likes sex- from Madonna to Kate Hudson- hell, he’d go for any of the Palins. So that’s the joke. Letterman isn’t making child porn jokes- he’s making fun of almost anyone in the news- Rodriguez and the Palins, especially. He was merciless with both Paris Hilton and McCain- both had enough humour and class to appear on his show afterwards. My God, what he has said about Bill and Hillary over the years! They both too know it goes with the territory. And no, neither Obama child has gotten knocked up or been exploited by their parents.
Of course Letterman is going to poke fun at Bristol Palin. It’s his job; he’s a comedian. If you expected him to “play nice,” you have no idea how the game is played.
And what about the jabs at Obama’s children. What are they going to say about them? That they’re seemingly perfect? Oh wait, that’s already been done.
The Palin jokes are still funny. Get over it.
@rerolpxe — isn’t it true that even the mafia dosen’t attack the children?
Did you hear this at your hairdresser’s or see it on HBO? Or do you have intimate knowledge of the “mafia?” And since when is the “mafia” a group we look to for our social standards? This is just a ridiculous comment from an uneducated hick who believes everything seen on FOX News. Congratulations, the whole world now knows you’re a 3rd grade dropout.
Quote from “The Godfather II”: Michael Corleone (after gunmen fired through his bedroom window): “IN MY HOME! IN MY BEDROOM! Where my wife sleeps… and my children play with their toys.” See, not even the “movie mafia” follow that code.
BUT, this joke was made about an adult who chooses to give interviews and is old enough to serve in the war her mother supports.
The Leno joke that connects Bristol’s pregancy to John Edwards (and is eerily similar to Letterman’s joke last Monday) is highlighted on this video clip as it simultaneously exposes the factually-deficient Hannity and Huckabee about this manufactured outrage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqUqaTXB6v4
That stunned look on Levi Johnston’s face (pictured above) is priceless.
As for all of you sanctimonius Palin-drones: Let me get this straight. Sarah gets knocked up before her marriage, her underage teen daighter gets knocked up in high school and then splits up with the baby daddy, but the REAL bad guys are the ones who tell jokes about it? Gold-medal level hypocrisy. U-S-A! U-S-A!
One other question: For those of you with Palin 2012 bumper stickers, what’s wrong with Dan Quayle? Full Dinner Jacket has a lot more experience and really needs the work. Please consider this dream ticket.
Do any of you, on either side, just stop and think “WOW, I’m really intolerant of people with different beliefs than me?”
Probably not.
Can you imagine what would have happened if Sarah Palin had become Vice President. We would be the laughing stock of the world. She should really take a anger management course. Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Try to remember this Sarah.
Blame the writers