Sarah Palin may be leaving office, but she still holds the title of national laughingstock, and likely will for the foreseeable future.The Palin jokes are sure to keep coming, especially now that she has supplied comedians with a fresh supply of fodder from her bizarre resignation announcement. Here's the first batch of what is certain to be a steady new stream of late-night jokes about the soon-to-be former governor:
"There was a surprising announcement over the weekend. The governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, is leaving office. She's stepping down. Something I said?" –David Letterman, referring to his feud with Palin
"President Obama right now is in Russia. Obama went there because from Russia you can actually see Sarah Palin cleaning out her office in Alaska." –Conan O'Brien
"I was talking to a lady here in the audience, she was from Alaska and we were wondering about this. How does a thing like this work? She steps down and she's no longer the governor of Alaska. And we figured it out: Miss Congeniality steps up and is now the governor of Alaska." –David Letterman
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Letterman's Top Ten Messages on Sarah Palin's Answering Machine
10. "Hi, it's George W. Bush. Why didn't anyone tell me resigning was an option?"9. "It's John McCain--Why did I call?"
8. "Mark Sanford here. Ever been to Argentina?"
7. "I'm calling from Geico to see if you want to renew your dogsled insurance"
6. "It's Letterman. We still cool?"
5. "McCain again. Still no idea why I called"
4. "Hi, it's the dry cleaner. Having trouble getting caribou blood out of your Prada jacket"
3. "Hi, it's Sarah...Oops...Dialed my own number"
2. "Schwarzenegger here. If you want a job, California could use a new governor"
1. "Hey, it's McCain. Who would've thought you'd retire before I did"
Top 5 Best Quotes About Palin's Resignation
1. "I have said Sarah Palin's political ambition combined with her intellect is like putting a jet engine on a golf cart; lots of horse power and no steering capabilities. Today she proved it." --Alaska blogger Shannyn Moore, whom Sarah Palin is threatening to sue
2. "Sarah Palin decided to chuck her responsibilities but still wants to have an impact on public debate. So what does that make her, a community organizer?" –NPR's Michel Martin
3. "Watching Sarah Palin's press conference on Friday was like watching a drunk seal trying to land a plane, or in basketball terms (which Sarah prefers) like watching a grade-schooler try to score on Kobe while jabbering inanely." --Huffington Post blogger David Stemler
4. "Caribou Barbie is one nutty puppy." --New York Times columniust Maureen Dowd
5. "I think Sarah Palin is on the verge of becoming the Miami Vice of American politics: Something a lot of people once thought was cool and then 20 years later look back, shake their heads and just kind of laugh." --Republican media consultant Todd Harris
Read more devastating quotes about Sarah Palin...
More Sarah Palin Humor:
Top 10 Real Reasons Palin Resigned
Funny Sarah Palin Pictures
Sarah Palin Cartoons
10 Dumbest Sarah Palin Quotes
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Comments
Who’s the next nutty Republican Letterman is going to take down?
Top Ten Things Overheard at the Sarah Palin Resignation Press Conference:
10: “Do you think we can keep those clothes now?”
9: “You can’t quit now, I have three payments left on the snow machine!”
8: “Are you sure this is how Nixon became president?”
7: “Is she through talking yet?”
6: “Jeez, Sanford banged his mistress in Rio and it’s just another day at the office for him.”
5: “I thought YOU told her to write down her remarks first?”
4: “If she joins FOX Glenn Beck will have to share his psychiatrist.”
3: “Don’t worry, Honey, when we make Alaska secede from the Union, you can be president for life
up here!”
2: “Let’s see how cheerful Obama is when his daughter gets . . . is that mike turned on?”
. . . and the Number One thing overheard at Sara Palin’s resignation Press Conference:
1: “F#@% you, Katie!”
So the self-important, Obama-a$$-kissing media have made fun of Sarah Palin for not giving a crap about them while they–once again–bend over backwards to cover every move she makes. And of course, all of the brainwashed and lobotomized Obama fans eat it up because it makes them feel smarter than someone else when all the evidence points to the contrary. Where’s the news in that? Yawn.
MY God, when will you jerks stop crying over Sarah Palin. She must really get under you skin. YOU need to get a life…look around you, there is plenty of comedic material with those you cling to…get over her. Your actions say more about your life than hers!!!!!!!!!