"President Obama's Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor had her second day in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee today. Her confirmation is pretty much a forgone conclusion, but even the leading Republican said the only way she would not be confirmed is if she had a meltdown, in which case she'd be named the governor of Alaska." --Jimmy Kimmel"Sonia Sotomayor is testifying in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee. And she has said that she 'felt out of place attending Princeton.' Sotomayor says there were so many white males in Princeton, she felt like she was testifying in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee." --Conan O'Brien
"Bill Clinton revealed that he now supports same-sex marriage, even though he opposed it during his presidency. To be fair, during his presidency, he also opposed his own marriage." --Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama's teleprompter fell to the ground and shattered yesterday during a speech on the economy. Wow, even speeches about the economy are crashing." --Jimmy Fallon
"As I watched the press conference, I realized finally we have a candidate for the people who loved George Bush's certainty but were bothered by his rationality and executive experience." --Jon Stewart, on Sarah Palin's resignation (Watch video clip)
"It's been 40 years since we've put a man on the moon, and now of course the next big goal is to put a man on Sonia Sotomayor." –David Letterman
"South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is trying to bounce back from his sex scandal. Sanford has cleared his schedule this week to take a personal trip with his wife. Isn't that nice? Sanford said he wanted to go somewhere exotic and romantic, but he's going to get this trip with his wife out of the way first." --Conan O'Brien
"Did you see this, yesterday in Washington? President Obama was in the middle of giving a speech when his teleprompter fell to the floor and shattered. Meanwhile, Joe Biden's teleprompter has been treated for exhaustion." --Conan O'Brien
"How about that Harry Potter movie? Opened today as a matter of fact. In this one, Harry goes up against Dick Cheney and his secret CIA hit squad." --David Letterman
"So now it turns out that Dick Cheney, while he was Vice President, had a private deal going with the CIA And he goes to the CIA -- and those guys are pretty good at keeping a secret -- and he goes to the CIA, and he says, 'Boys, this will just be between you and me. We're going to run our own antiterrorism program. You and me. Don't tell Congress.' Eight years this was going on. And when I heard this, I said to myself, 'Gosh, that doesn't sound like the Dick Cheney I know.'" --David Letterman
"They tried to get a hold of Cheney for comment, but his staff said, 'No, no, you can't talk to Cheney. He's taking a hike on the Appalachian Trail.'" --David Letterman
"Very secret operation, went on for eight years. Nobody knew anything about it. The only thing they knew was that it was called 'Operation Hunting Accident.'" --David Letterman
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