No one is better at speaking truth to stupid than Bill Maher. In his latest installment of "New Rules," Maher tore apart the Obama "birthers," the right-wing nutjobs who claim that Obama was not born in Hawaii and that his birth certificate is fake. (Watch video)
"In America," he says, "if you don't immediately kill errant bulls**t no matter how ridiculous, it can grow and thrive and eventually take over like crab grass or cirque du soleil."
Warning that the "birthers" must be stopped, Maher also says, "This is not a case of Democrats vs. Republicans. It's sentient beings vs. the Lizard People."
Watch the video of Maher's brilliant "birther" smackdown and read the full transcript below.
Never underestimate the ability of a tiny fringe group of losers to ruin everything. For the past couple of weeks we've been laughing heartily at the wacky antics of the "birthers", the far-right goofballs who claim Obama wasn't really born in Hawaii and therefore the job goes to the runner-up, Miss California Carrie Prejean.See Also:
And you know there is nothing you can do to convince these people, you can hand them in person the original birth certificate with the placenta, and have a video of Obama emerging from the womb with Don Ho singing in the background, and they still would not believe it.
"Hey birthers, wanna hear my theory? My theory was that Obama was born in America and you were born with the umbilical cord around your neck. I don't know what his mother was doing when she was pregnant, but I'm pretty sure your mom was drinking."
Oh, I kid the birthers, there's one thing that makes me think they could be right. We're Americans, of course we're gonna hire an illegal alien to clean-up.
I'm joking, of course. And laughing it off has also been the reaction from Democratic leaders so far. Proving that Democrats never learn. But if you don't immediately kill errant bulls**t, no matter how ridiculous it can't grow and thrive like crabgrass or Cirque du Soleil. This birther stuff might be a deluded right-wing obsession, but so was Whitewater and look where that ended up: "What are they gonna do, keep expanding the case until they impeach the President over a blowjob?"
Yes.
I'm telling you that in America there is no idea so patently absurd that it can't catch on. Have you ever met a Mormon?
Or, more recently, we had the Swift Boat allegations against John Kerry, making him, a genuine war hero, a coward in a race against the guy who never left Texas. It was so stupid Kerry refused to even discuss it and we all know how well that worked out.
Well, you may ask, how something as inane as Whitewater or Swift Boats or the birther-thing gains traction? Well I'll tell you how, the same way that the story of Elton John almost dying from ingesting too much of Rod Stewart's sperm gained traction in my high school, dummies talking to other dummies.
It's just easier now because of the internet. And because our mainstream media does such a lousy job of talking truth to stupid.
Lou Dobbs said recently, "People are asking a lot of questions about the birth certificate." Yes, the same people who want to know where the Sun goes at night and where to put the stamp on their e-mail. And Lou, you're their new king.
Which is why it is so important that we, the few, the proud, the reality based, attack this stuff before it has a chance to fester and spread. This is not a case of Democrats versus Republicans. It's sentient beings versus the lizard people.
And it is to the lizard people that I offer this deal, I will show you President Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
Jon Stewart Eviscerates the 'Birther' Movement
Stephen Colbert 'Defends' the 'Birther' Movement
Related:
Late-Night Jokes
Bill Maher Videos
Obama Birther Cartoons
Comments
Where do we place the plaque commemorating Obama’s birth?
Bill Maher and Stephen Colbert are my heroes. Talk about titanium balls…
That was funny – the birthers wonder where the sun goes at night…LOL
Bill Maher is a national treasure. One of the best satirists this country has seen since Mark Twain.
If it is so ridiculous and since he is now president. Then why has it been impossible for him to produce a copy of it. Talk about being stupid and gullible. Or do you really believe he is just being stubborn to prove a point or satiate his ego? I don’t really care about this whole birth certificate thing. He still sucks at being president whether he was born here or not. But the question deserves an answer. The Constitution requires it.
@Brian hahahahahahahaha you’re funny! Oh wait, you were being serious? hahahahahahahahahaha you’re even funnier!
Attorney files motion for authentication of alleged 1960s certificate from Africa.
WASHINGTON – California attorney Orly Taitz, who has filed a number of lawsuits demanding proof of Barack Obama’s eligibility to serve as president, has released a copy of what purports to be a Kenyan certification of birth and has filed a new motion in U.S. District Court for its authentication.
The document lists Obama’s parents as Barack Obama II and Stanley Ann Obama, formerly Stanley Ann Dunham, the birth date as Aug. 4, 1961, and the hospital of birth as Coast General Hospital in Mombasa, Kenya.
No doctor is listed. But the alleged certificate bears the signature of the deputy registrar of Coast Province, Joshua Simon Couya. It was allegedly issued as a certified copy of the original in February 1964.
wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=105764
I find it hilarious that the OBOT DRONES fight like hell with all kinds of lame excuses as to why there is no good reason to have to look at photographic evidence which clearly shows Obama’s COLB to be different in appearance to other know COLB’s issued the same year. Sure glad the real sheep in our country have finally been identified. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2136816/posts
I think he does have a Hawaii birth certificate, but he was illegitimate. His mother was unmarried at the time of Obama’s birth, which would prove embarrassing.
I think seeing the document would resolve all controversies, no? I had to show my birth certificate to get my driver’s license, for goodness sake!
I think you meant to say “No one is better at speaking stupid about truth than Bill Maher.”
Same comments over and over. For the rest of us who have seen the certificate (oh! it’s a fake! everything was a conspiracy! we didn’t land on the moon! the earth is at the center of the universe, and is flat!), we see what this is – the mind-bending antics of people who just can’t handle the fact that we have a mixed race person as the head of our nation. Maher is right – nothing will satisfy them, because they so desperately need to delegitimize Obama. Handed a certificate, they will call it fake. Photos will be called doctored. Witnesses false. Announcements in the paper staged. It’s like the 9/11 wackos and moon landing conspiracists. Hell, McCain is less likely to qualify for president than Obama. Thank goodness Maher and a few others are giving us a break from the “let’s hear all sides” nonsense and shredding this crap. But it’s a losing battle. Like the film idiocracy, the morons are taking over.
as always playing for the crowd… Shame on you, Bill.
YOU are not “crowd”; you CAN understand. In this case
(together with Ann Coulter) you are so POLITICALLY CORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!
GO TO WND.COM
QUESTION:
What happens to Judge Sotomayor’s confirmation as Supreme Court Justice if the Constitution’s “natural born citizen” Presidential eligibility requirement is subsequently determined applicable to Barack Obama on the basis of Article 2’s exclusion of dual citizenship birth (doesn’t matter whether Obama born in Hawaii since his dad was Kenyan/British citizen at the time)? It would seem prudent, if not dereliction of Constitutional duty in not so doing, for the United States Senate to defer voting on Judge Sotomayor’s confirmation at the very least until there is determination, now imminent, on standing in Kerchner v. Congress (USDC NJ) on that precise issue (Congressional failure to take up the raised and known constitutional ineligibility question prior to declaring a Presidential winner in the vote of the electoral college). For the full Senate now to proceed to vote to confirm Judge Sotomayor (an otherwise lifetime appointment) before then, would be a knowing and very substantial exacerbation of any inherent Constitutional crisis — compounding the previous Congressional dereliction. That is, the Executive Branch, as well as conceivably all actions of a Congress under a President determined ineligible, would leave the Supreme Court as an essential unfettered remaining Branch of the Federal Government, that is unfettered so long as Mr. Obama’s appointment to the Court is not yet confirmed by the Senate.
Will not one Senator, let alone Republican Senator, raise this issue on the Senate floor? The nation is watching.
To Jack in comment 13
Were you referring to the Constitution of the UNITED STATES in your “question” above?
If you were, you need to reread said Constitution as you are misrepresenting Article II Section 1, which read as follows:
“No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.”
Nowhere is there a mention of exclusion because of one’s parent being born on foreign soil.
Here is a link to all of America’s most precious documents. It is called “Charters of Freedom” :
http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/
You, well everyone actually, should read them, so that these little misunderstandings do not occur.
(P.S. Please forgive any typos… I can spell, but I cannot type.)
In my opinion the Republican Party has been taken over the most extreme religious right (people who love to push their beliefs on others while trying to take away their rights) and that’s who they need to focus on if they real want to win. Good Luck, because as they said in WACO, “We Ain’t Coming Out”.
In the same vein, to all the birthers in La, La Land, it is on you to prove to all of us that your assertion is true, if there are people who were there and support your position then show us the video (everyone has a price), either put up or frankly shut-up. I heard Orly Taitz, is selling a tape (I think it’s called “Money, Lies and Video tape”). She is from Orange County, CA, now I know what the mean when they say “behind the Orange Curtain”, when they talk about Orange County, the captial of Conspiracy Theories. You know Obama has a passport, he travel abroad before he was a Senator, but I guess he fooled them too?
Whichever party is out of power will invariably churn up moonbats from the deepest caves. When Bush was in, the 9/11 truthers were out in full force, with a LOT of Dems agreeing with them, or saying darkly, “There must be something to it.” Now that the Dems are in power, conservative moonbats have the birther thing.
Don’t knock the moonbats. Think of the mischief they could be up to if they weren’t wasting their time on Leftist or Rightist paranoia.
Big Leo got it right. Someone told me he thought the “birthers” were started by the Dems to serve as a harmless distraction until they spend another trillion or so. Hmmmm. Could be?
Hey, I want to see McCain’s birth certificate. He was born in Panama – he’s Panamanian, doncha know.All his documents a fakes.
United We Stand — Divided We Fall
In the late summer of 2009 the United States population is divided into three groups as America teeters on the edge of falling into the abyss.
The first division (the largest) totally believes the person currently occupying the White House is a natural born citizen despite the fact that the current White House occupant and his supporters have not produced the proper credentials to prove he is a natural born citizen. These persons also dismiss out-of-hand without consideration or investigation any potential legitimate foreign birth certificates related to the person occupying the White House such as the document presented in the courts by Orly Taitz http://orlytaitzesq.com
The second division does not care where the current occupant of the White House was born and thinks he should remain President of the United States simply because he was “elected.” These persons also dismiss out-of-hand without consideration or investigation any potential legitimate foreign birth certificates related to the person occupying the White House such as the document presented in the courts by Orly Taitz.
The third division (the smallest) demands that any person occupying the White House must prove they are a natural born citizen with the proper credentials. These persons also demand that if the current occupant of the White House cannot produce the proper credentials, the current occupant must resign immediately or be removed by the courts or legislature as soon as possible. These persons also demand a thorough investigation by a federal court (not public opinion) into any potential legitimate foreign birth certificates related to the person occupying the White House such as the document presented in the courts by Orly Taitz.
In July of 2009, a mother displayed a copy of a long-form birth certificate for her twin daughters that were born in the same hospital of the current occupant of the White House. The twins were born the day before the alleged birth date of the current occupant of the White House. All he has to do is present an identical certified long-form birth document and every one of the constitutional issues will be resolved. Why is there no transparency and honesty regarding a simple document that is supposedly in the files of the Hawaiian government?
Reality Check: The United States Constitution has specific requirements for a person to be a U.S. Congressional Representative, Senator and President. The words and phrases in the U.S. Constitution regarding the requirements of electing Congressional Representatives, Senators and Presidents are the realities America has followed since the late 1700s. The U.S. Constitution became a full reality in1789.
What is the term used in psychiatry when a person or a group of individuals lose contact with a reality that has functioned and been followed for 220 years? The disconnected state is labeled psychosis. The specific definition of the word psychosis is:
“any severe mental disorder in which contact with reality [such as the U.S. Constitution] is lost or highly distorted.”
So how has America come to the point where two thirds of the citizenry and most of the corporate print and television news media have lost contact with the realities of the U.S. Constitution and live and function in a psychotic state? More bizarrely, why do the first and second division psychotics, label the third group as being racists, bigots or their favorite new buzz word “birthers” as if being a “birther” is a negative mental condition? Why do first and second division psychotics hurl their accusations as the current occupant of the White House cannot produce a real and certified U.S. birth document?
We need look no further than the persons who nurtured, supported and promoted the previous and current occupants of the White House for the answers to these questions. The current occupant’s first job was provided by Henry Kissinger and then he became a protégée of Zbigneiw Brzezinski. Kissinger and Brzezinski are both Senior Fellows of the Center for Strategic Studies at Jesuit Georgetown University and belong to numerous other elite groups. These two individuals and their organizations are unabashed supporters of a One World Government and New World Order since the 1950s. These individuals and their organizations also inserted the previous occupant into the White House and they planned for and calculated there would be a back lash to the previous occupant’s power and policies.
They control their created problem (previous White House occupant) and they provide their created solution (current White House occupant) but the base policies do not change. True power is when one group controls both the problem and the solution. The hideous torture still goes on at Guantanamo and other secret prisons while 50,000 additional troops with deadly remote controlled air drones pound Afghanistan and other countries. Since 2001, a flood of legislative bills have been presented and passed by both Democrats and Republicans that erode or outright cancel the liberties and freedoms of all humans on Earth.
The previous occupant of the White House declared the U.S. Constitution was “just a god damn piece of paper.” However, divisions one and two as detailed above do not verbally berate the U.S. Constitution — they do one better (or worse) by condemning the U.S. Constitution with their disconnection from the realities set forth in that document related to the qualifications a person must have to be President of the United States. A citizen’s actions or passivity express their berating attitude and mental state far better than a politician’s words. Also a citizen’s actions or passivity are far more powerful and meaningful than a politician’s words.
At this critical juncture in American History, persons like Kissinger and Brzezinski and groups such as the Council on Foreign Relations and the Jesuit operated Center for Strategic Studies have placed a combination foreigner birthed, Manchurian Candidate and Pied Piper into the White House. And while Kissinger, Brzezinski and company promoted their current White House occupant as the solution to their previous White House occupant with the complicit corporate news media, millions of Americans lost contact with the realities of the U.S. Constitution and slipped into a whirlpool state of psychosis. When one provision of the U.S. Constitution is disregarded by the general public then the stage is set for an occupant of the White House to disregard and cancel other provisions related to the rights of free speech, religion, bear arms and self incrimination.
The current occupant of the White House claims he was a Constitutional lawyer therefore he should be very familiar with the requirements to be President of the United States as specifically stated in the U.S. Constitution. However, a Constitutional lawyer spends little time in the courtroom but must publish papers or his reputation and function as a Constitutional lawyer perishes. The current occupant of the White House has yet to produce one paper he or his staff wrote regarding the U.S. Constitution. But the current occupant of the White House admitted in the summer of 2009 that he sucks nicotine into his body by inhaling smoke from blazing tobacco sticks at least four or five times a day. Usually a person who declares they have a four to five a day cigarette habit, have in reality, a one to three pack a day smoker addiction.
If no authentic birth document is tendered or a genuine foreign birth document is presented in a federal court, then the current occupant of the White House knew he was not eligible to run for ANY federal public office. His actions rise to the highest level of fraud and he should be tried in a court of law for his alleged crime(s). But then before the 2008 election, most Americans knew as much about his foreign birth controversy as they did about his addiction to nicotine. In turn, the previous occupant of the White House should be tried for war crimes but the American public remains as passive and silent about that issue as they do about the current occupant of the White House being addicted to nicotine. Henry and Zbig are having a really good chuckle.
As Americans deal with so many issues, the very small minority of persons implementing the One World Government and New World Order have spun the U.S. citizenry into a splintered and confused mob. But this dispersed mob is not armed with pitchforks and bats in a righteous freedom revolution but meekly sits in front of high definition entertainment while cowering in fear of the created and illusionary fiscal, “terrorism” and health crisis situations. Our captors know…United We Stand — Divided We Fall — as they bury our liberties and freedoms to implement their New World Order in an avalanche of fabricated fear.
The reason why the names Bush and Obama have not be used in the first portion of this article is because they are only symptoms of the problem. Had both George and Barack not been born, Henry and Zbig would have tapped others with the personalities, dynamics and results being the same.
Now is the time for all divisions of the U.S. populace to shed the fear and psychosis and boldly connect with the realities set forth by our forefathers in the documents titled the Declaration of Independence, the United States Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
United We Stand as the aware citizenry removes the occupants (Henry and Zbig’s boys and girls) in Washington D.C, all the state capitals and the corporate news media by only electing, listening to and working with dedicated persons who will thoroughly engage our reality into the foundations set forth in America during the late 1700s.
There is a difference between a person qualifying for citizenship and a person qualifying to be a candidate for President of the United States. The U.S. Constitution is very specific about the qualifications for being a candidate for President– read this eighteenth century document for the details because there are no ambiguities but regretfully there are only smokescreens and distractions by volunteer and paid disinformation agents that write on blogs, forums and websites.
No Federal court has decided the legitimacy, citizenship and qualifications of a Presidential candidate so any and all previous court cases are meaningless. In all previous court cases regarding Barry’s qualifications and citizenship, the defense has not cited any previous court cases because there are no previous court cases.
The specific task of the disinformation agents is to throw as much mud and crap into the clear waters stated U.S. Constitution so the average citizen throws their arms up in confusion and disgust. Don’t be victim…keep your awareness and state-of-mind and heart penetrating through the mucked waters and fouled air created by Barry’s mud and fog “machine.”
Barry was supposedly a “Constitutional” lawyer (published no papers) so he knows very well the qualifications for one to be a Senatorial and Presidential Candidate. Does he not release any kind a genuine and long-form birth certificate from any location, his passport, his school records, his driver’s license and so many other documents that would determine his citizenship AND his qualifications to be a Senatorial and Presidential candidate because he very well knows he definitely does not meet the criteria as a Federal level politician AND/OR a citizen?
The secrecy and cloaking of EVERY document to make the true and certified determination of his qualifications for BOTH citizenship and being a Senatorial and Presidential candidate and the millions of dollars that have gone into hiding the cornucopia of documents by Barry’s legal and writer hit squads are so sad and very telling that he has to be a fraud and liar.
And that is one of the key issues — Barry and his mentors Henry and Zbig know he does not qualify as a Senatorial and Presidential Candidate so his “machine” and henchmen have committed the highest form of fraud and deception on the America people.
Anyone living in Hawaii, including government officials or a private citizen SAYING anyone is a citizen because they either have SEEN a long-form birth certificate or they BELIEVE there is a long-term birth certificate is HEARSAY in any court of law. Their observations are worthless but again Barry’s subversive agents on this forum and others attempt to create smokescreens and confusion with their baseless observations about hearsay statements and COLB (certificate of live birth). Are Barry’s henchmen writers on the blogs, forums and websites ALL volunteers or are they paid mercenaries?
A person using COLB to obtain a passport or birth certificate does not rise to the standards of and never will be the sole criteria a Federal Court will use or consider when qualifying a person as being a legitimate Senatorial or Presidential Candidate.
Let there be no question that if indeed the document does exist, I want and desire a release of and a court of law to determine Barry’s long-form birth certificate issued by the state of Hawaii so Barry will exonerate himself from any potential criminal charges of fraud and obstruction of justice. I want this issue to be resolved as much as I want Barry to have been born in Hawaii. Regretfully what we want is sometimes not a reality and truth. And what anyone wants is not the qualifications for another person to be a candidate for Senator or President.
So now that the smokescreens and diversions have been eliminated:
Again just in case you missed the most important point, in July of 2009, a mother displayed a copy of a long-form birth certificate for her twin daughters that were born in the same hospital of the current occupant of the White House. The twins were born the day before the alleged birth date of the current occupant of the White House. All he has to do is present an identical certified long-form birth document and every one of the constitutional issues will be resolved. Why is there no transparency and honesty regarding a simple document that is supposedly in the files of the Hawaiian government?
Because Barry is:
1. a Kenyan Citizen
2. an Indonesian Citizen
3. a U.S. citizen but does not qualify as a candidate for ANY Federal political office.
Sit down, take a deep breath and relax while you take the time to READ the U.S. Constitution and find your answers in the same document that also motivates Barry’s complete silence and concealing any revealing documents related to his true ancestry and birth.
When you finish reading the U.S. Constitution, stay focused and determined and do not let Barry’s volunteer and paid disinformation agents muddle the clear waters and air stated in the U.S. Constitution.
And hopefully the moderator of this blog, forum, websites or letter to the editor believes in and follows the first amendment and does not censor me for pointing out the disinformation agents and “machine” running interference for the unqualified and fraudulent Barry for the past two to three years.
Brian David Andersen
A Non-Party Affiliated,
Free, Independent &
Very Proud “Birther”
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/birthcertificate.asp
Since the author of the long winded, baseless, chain email diatribe already defined psychosis (a condition from which he obviously suffers) for us, I’ll buffer it with Benjamin Franklin’s definition of insanity (another condition from which he obviously suffers): Those who engage in identical and repetitive acts while expecting different results.
How many times are you “birthers” going to run into the same brick wall before you realize that it not only makes you look ridiculous but also gets you nowhere?
Bill Maher, once a comedian, now has become a Zionist front man. His program has become silly using television and radio personnel to address government problems. He was correct on Bush and the Iraq war–but he had a metamorphosis, and now is a critic of the American people. There is absolutely nothing wrong with our citizens asking for proof of the President’s natural birth. People who oppose this question are the true conspiracy nuts in this couintry: Maher is one such person.
I agree with Bill and plan to visit Obama’s birthplace, which will one day be a national treasure.
If someone would just tell me where it is?
Why it did not occur to Bill Maher that Obama is a Birther in Chief.
He is so sure, that there is no Birth Certificate or other documented proof of his Hawaiian birth in the Hawaiian archive, that he is spending millions on lawyers to seal these archives.
Billy has the contagious virus going around MSNBC called the “Olbermann Syndrome.” Maher’s so called “comedy” routine never included a smidgeon of intelligence but now it’s even worse, he now sounds like a cross between Mel Gibson and Keith Olbermann. As the syndrome progresses it will cause Billy to fall into the “Chris Matthews phase.” This will lead Billy to start spitting when he pronounces certain words, it’s similar to Sylvester the Cat’s lisp. Sylvester’s lisp of course was much worse but at least the people he talked to stayed dry. The next phase is the Dylan Rattigan phase and he will find himself starting to spend time in Hugh Hefner’s grotto and believing the women when they tell him “you were great” or he will start believing the info coming out of MSNBC. The last stage of the syndrome is called the Lawrence O’Donnell psycho phase. This phase will start with an eye “tremor” or eye itch, similar to the one that Inspector Dryfus had (Inspector Clouseau’s enemy) in the Pink Panther movies. The angrier you get, the more it twitches. The more it twitches the angrier you get. And of course with this last phase, he will start believing the notes the Progressives have him reading.
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