David Letterman has spent years mocking politicians mercilessly for their sexual transgressions.
Now, following his admission that he was targeted by an extortionist over his affairs with female staff members, Letterman is finding himself the butt of jokes from his fellow late-night hosts.
"Settle down. If you came here tonight for sex with a talk show host, you've got the wrong studio." --Jay Leno
"There's a new book out called 'Why Women Have Sex' that says there are 237 reasons why women have sex. And folks, Letterman knows the top 10." -Jimmy Fallon
"I was shocked that Letterman has been having affairs. I had no idea he was even running for office." --Bill Maher
"This whole CBS blackmail scandal has affected everybody in television. Do you know it's now considered sexual harassment if you just ask, 'Who's on Letterman tonight?'" --Jay Leno
"A producer for '48 Hours' was arrested Thursday for attempting a stupid human trick. It was reported that the blackmailer was saying he was going to reveal embarrassing details about Letterman's life. For instance, after sex he would say, 'Stay tuned for Craig Ferguson.'" --Seth Meyers
"What's going on? First Conan hit his head, and then somebody tries to extort money from Letterman. I'm so glad I'm out of late night!" --Jay Leno
"This guy who was trying to blackmail Letterman was a producer from the show '48 Hours.' It could have been worse. At least it wasn't a producer from 'To Catch a Predator.' That would have been bad." --Jay Leno
"I'm happy to say that I've never had a sexual relationship with any of my staff members." (As a band member throws down his drumsticks and storms off stage)." --Jay Leno (Watch video)
"I've never had sex with members of my staff -- the guests, yes, of course, but not the staff." --Bill Maher
"Hey, next to Roman Polanski and Mackenzie Phillips' dad, I think Dave looks pretty good." --Bill Maher
Read more late-night jokes...
Update: David Letterman Jokes About Affairs, Wife's Reaction In Monologue
See Also:
Letterman Extortion Plot Timeline (About.com)
Top 10 Reasons David Letterman's Sextortion Scandal Won't Matter (Newsweek)
Letterman's Perky Assistant, Sidekick Now in Center of Scandal (NY Daily News)
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