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Daniel Kurtzman

Best Sign Ideas for the Stewart and Colbert Rally

By September 22, 2010

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Funny Sign Ideas for the Stewart-Colbert Rally Update: See the funniest protest signs at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

After being forced to watch a bunch of "morans" parade around with ridiculous signs at their tea parties, sane Americans will soon have a chance to strike back during the upcoming Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert rallies.

There are sure to be some clever satirical signs on display at both the "Rally to Restore Sanity" and the "March to Keep Fear Alive." When Stewart announced his rally, he offered some signs suggestions of his own:

"I Disagree With You, But I'm Pretty Sure You're Not Hitler"
"Got Competence?"
"9/11 Was An Outside Job"
"I'm Not Afraid of Muslims, Tea Partiers, Socialists, Immigrants, Gun Owners or Gays, But I am Kind of Scared of Spiders."

Since then, fans have been busy generating their own ideas. Here are some of the best we've seen on Daily Kos, Huffington Post, Reddit, and other Internet forums:

"We're Taking Our Teabagging Back"
"I Spell-Check My Political Rage"
"Sanity, Not Hannity"
"I Support Reasonable Conclusions Based On Supported Facts!"
"I Masturbate and I Vote!"
"O'Donnell Doesn't Like Happy Endings"
"Levi Is Not My Daddy" (suggested sign for kids)
"Left My White Sheet On The Bed Where It Belongs!"
"Forget Mama Grizzly! Where Are The Cougars?"
"Paved Roads Are Socialism"
"My Wife Thinks I Am Hiking The Appalachian Trail"
"If You Can Read This, You're Obviously Not Home-Schooled"
"Yes We Did - And It Drove You Batsh*t Crazy!"
"Protest Signs Are An Ineffectual Means Of Communicating My Nuanced Views On A Variety Of Issues That Cannot Be Reduced To A Simple Pithy Slogan"

For Colbert's rally, the challenge will be to out-crazy the far right. Here are some of the best slogans fans have come up with so far over at Colbert Nation, Reddit, Metafilter, and other forums:

"The Only Thing We Have Is Fear"
"I'm With Stupid (with an arrow pointing at yourself)"
"Jon Stewart Doesn't Care About Crazy People!"
"You've Got Nothing To Fear But The Dangers Lurking Behind You"
"Don't Trust the Amish!"
"Scaring Is Caring"
"Stop Continental Drift!
"Down With This Sort of Thing"
"Affordable Health Care Is Exactly The Same Thing As Stalinism"
"Albinos Go Home"
"Color Coded Threat Levels Were Good For Me"
"What Ever Happened to Civility, You Stupid A$$holes?"
"Team Fear (And So Can You!)"
"Plate Tectonics Is Only A Theory!"
"I Don't Hate Obama Because He's Black. Actually I Forget Why. He Is Black Though I Am Angry And Scared"
"I Have A Dream Where Immigrants Are Coming To Steal My Goldline Antique Coins"
"I Would Write A Message Here - But I'm Afraid Someone Might Read It"

See a slideshow of funny protest signs for the Rally to Restore Sanity

Have more sign ideas for the Stewart rally or the Colbert rally? Post them in the comments section below.

Funniest Protest Signs Ever
Latest Late-Night Jokes
Best Jon Stewart Quotes
Best Stephen Colbert Quotes

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September 22, 2010 at 6:12 pm
(1) phil says:

“The Truthiness Is Out There”

September 22, 2010 at 6:14 pm
(2) Jared says:

“This sign contains no spelling errors!”

September 22, 2010 at 6:22 pm
(3) Hazelnut says:

It’s Not A Tea Party Unless There Are Mother F–king Crumpets

September 22, 2010 at 7:15 pm
(4) Jean says:

“The Rednecks Are Coming! The Rednecks Are Coming!”

“I like the Dark, South American and Arabica Kind….Join the Coffee Party”

September 22, 2010 at 7:38 pm
(5) Bill says:

Reunite Gondwanaland !

September 23, 2010 at 12:06 am
(6) RLS says:

Big Government Is Bad and Big Corporations Are Good But Don’t Ask Me To Explain That

– for the Colbert rally

Reality Has A Well Known Liberal Bias

– for the Stewart rally

September 23, 2010 at 12:45 am
(7) FloridaPete says:

If you bring your children what about: “My daddy gave me this sing to hold!!! I don’t know what it says, but I was told there would be ice cream.”

September 23, 2010 at 4:04 am
(8) Ken Pittman says:

This ridiculous piece is a good example of the insecurity of the left. It is also indicative of why Democrats will be routed this November. You either feign a lack of comprehension or possess it.

You voted for change and never asked for it to be defined. You never questioned who you voted for but sought revenge on neocons and or specifically Bush. Now THAT is what is pathetic. Bush left and he departed undefeated by you on the left.

Now tens of millions are correcting an enormous error by you. You’ve put inept novices in executive positions and ones who have tripled the debt you screeched about in 2008.

Colbert and Stewart are having a rally for moderates?!

The only thing ‘middle’ about either of them is that they are found on Comedy CENTRAL.

I predict a crowd of 112 moderates and probably 8-10,000 liberal posers. This ought to be good.

September 23, 2010 at 7:22 am
(9) Justine says:

ah Ken, I worry about you….take care of yourself.

September 23, 2010 at 2:11 pm
(10) Lynn says:

Stewart rally:
Marching quietly,
spelling well,
hating no one,
and having a good time.
I must be Progressive.

September 23, 2010 at 4:23 pm
(11) Dan says:

Go ahead and tread on me, if you really want to!

September 23, 2010 at 6:16 pm
(12) JaredS says:

“We’re all gonna die!…eventually.”

September 23, 2010 at 6:27 pm
(13) JaredS says:

For Stewart:

“Moderates have views too. They’re not STRONG, but they are in pretty good shape.”

“If you’re not reading all these signs, you’re probably reading something meaningful.”

For Colbert:

“Stop using facts to tell the truth!”

“Diplomacy is for pussies!”

September 23, 2010 at 6:38 pm
(14) TanyaR says:

How about “Fear – You’ll get over it”

September 23, 2010 at 6:57 pm
(15) Chris says:

Nazism! Fascism! Communism!

Wait. What were we talking about again?

September 23, 2010 at 7:11 pm
(16) Mikbur says:

Don’t confuse me with the truth, my mind is made up.

September 23, 2010 at 8:33 pm
(17) Erin Ennis says:

Kiss me! I’m Un-American!

September 23, 2010 at 8:45 pm
(18) Bob K says:

My political Z score is within +2 to -2

~~ for Stewart

Extremism is IN’ism

~~ for Colbert

September 24, 2010 at 2:40 am
(19) Toby T says:

The Brain: Are you pondering what I’m pondering?

Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if we don’t have fully functioning human brains, does that make us teabaggers like Christine O’Donnell?

September 24, 2010 at 4:11 am
(20) gb says:

I’M GAY but much too career-focused to think about marriage. So, um, no rush.

September 24, 2010 at 4:18 am
(21) Jamey says:

My Placebo has an expiration date.

September 24, 2010 at 9:01 am
(22) anna says:

How about “I think comedy is easy” and “My lame snarky sign misses the point of Stewart’s rally”? Those have the benefit of being true.

September 24, 2010 at 9:23 am
(23) Irae says:

“The Tree of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the Tears of Morons”

September 24, 2010 at 9:56 am
(24) Steve says:

“HANNITY OR SANITY…choose wisely”

September 24, 2010 at 10:23 am
(25) Richard says:

This space intentionally left blank.

September 24, 2010 at 11:29 am
(26) Clark says:

“Insanity in Hannity?”

“Glenn Beckerwood”

“Glenn Beckerhead”

“Faux News Scares Me”

September 24, 2010 at 12:49 pm
(27) Eileen says:

Stop it! Play Nice.

September 24, 2010 at 2:55 pm
(28) KC says:

Ken Pittman — those are GENIUS slogans! Keep up the great work.

September 24, 2010 at 3:09 pm
(29) Phil says:

“The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it” MT quote

September 24, 2010 at 3:39 pm
(30) Phil says:

“I’m only here because I was afraid I’d miss something”

September 24, 2010 at 6:48 pm
(31) ddkk says:

This message paid for by the Koch brothers.

September 24, 2010 at 11:50 pm
(32) Sherrie Turner says:

I do my Teabagging in the privacy of my own home

September 25, 2010 at 12:52 am
(33) g says:

Signs of the Times

September 25, 2010 at 4:48 pm
(34) adam says:

“there is no human opinion, only truth. that’s what i think anyway.”

September 26, 2010 at 10:23 pm
(35) Lori L. says:

Heard on Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me concerning opposition to health care: “Give me liberty AND give me death!”

September 27, 2010 at 12:04 pm
(36) William Murdick says:


–Just because Republicans don’t evole doesn’t mean evolution is a myth

–The Republican Pledge to America: More Debt, More War, More Poverty

–I may disagree with you, but I don’t think you were born in Kenya

–I don’t think you’re a socialist Nazi Muslim supporter of terrorism. I think you’re a moron.

–Don’t vilify the rich. Make them pay taxes!

September 27, 2010 at 4:48 pm
(37) Dylan says:

“Ignoring poverty doesn’t make it go away…education does.”

“This rally isn’t grassroots…and we’re not pretending it is.”

September 30, 2010 at 1:59 am
(38) Bill says:


September 30, 2010 at 3:56 am
(39) JT says:

Want to live in a place with no government? Try Somalia

September 30, 2010 at 5:38 am
(40) Turner says:

A little too much bitterness in some of those idea. I admit “Sanity, not Hannity” is catchy, but I think this rally should stear clear of anything remotely resembling what we see at Tea Party gatherings, and that includes attacks. Rather, just statements of your beliefs. I think Stewart’s original sign ideas do that.

I would lean towards: “Protest Signs Are An Ineffectual Means Of Communicating My Nuanced Views On A Variety Of Issues That Cannot Be Reduced To A Simple Pithy Slogan”, but something like:

“What could I possibly say to you on this sign in twenty words or less that would change your political views?”

October 1, 2010 at 8:10 pm
(41) Joseph Reilly says:

“Intelligence and clarity are not illegal,….yet”

October 2, 2010 at 5:34 am
(42) Dale says:

“If a dead-center moderate like me looks like a liberal to you, then you must be pretty far out in right field.”

October 4, 2010 at 2:11 pm
(43) Taylor says:

“just by making this sign i got more done than congress has in years!”

October 7, 2010 at 10:55 pm
(44) Holly says:

“I am fairly satisfied with the government.”

“The literacy rate in America is still pretty high.”

October 15, 2010 at 10:43 pm
(45) fred says:

“My ideology has been proven wrong and my presidential choice is a failure. I blame republicans”

October 17, 2010 at 9:05 am
(46) tag says:

For sanity: Despite any assertions or innuendo to the contrary, we are all real Americans.

For fear: Oh my God! I’m surrounded by the descendants of IMMIGRANTS!

October 25, 2010 at 7:22 am
(47) Chris Clark says:

“your all being very un-dude”

October 27, 2010 at 11:29 am
(48) Robin says:

I got a sign for Ken the troll up there at #8:

“Republicans have no sense of Humor”

October 29, 2010 at 11:31 am
(49) Russ says:

You Look Nice Today.

October 29, 2010 at 10:44 pm
(50) Ed says:

What happened to Country First?
People matter AFTER they’re born!
Yellow magnetic ribbons on your SUV isn’t sacrifice.
Paying taxes IS patriotic.

October 30, 2010 at 4:36 pm
(51) lisizmore says:

“I Hate Crowds”

November 1, 2010 at 1:01 pm
(52) gpymd says:

Here are some of the signs I saw at the rally.


November 1, 2010 at 1:02 pm
(53) gpymd says:

I’ve put my youtube clip here with a bunch of signs I caught on film from the rally.

November 1, 2010 at 3:56 pm
(54) Steve says:

That sign mentioned by tag at #46 can be seen at: .

November 1, 2010 at 4:00 pm
(55) Steve says:

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