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Daniel Kurtzman

State of the Union Drinking Game

By January 25, 2011

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Obama State of the Union Drinking Game Break out the beer steins and tap the keg — it's time for President Obama's State of the Union Address.

As you know, the Constitution requires that from time to time, the president shall give to the Congress information on the State of the Union, which is best digested by the citizenry while completely hammered.

To help you perform your patriotic duty, we've created the 2011 State of the Union Drinking Game. The rules are simple. When any of the words or phrases are said, or any of the actions occur, you drink the corresponding amount. Got it? Good, then let's get our drunken State of the Union on.

Words or Phrases:

"Let me be clear" – sip
"Make no mistake" – sip
"Healthcare" – sip
"Obamacare" – pound
"Yourmamacare" – chug entire bottle
"John Boehner" – sip
"Orange-American" – pound
"Gun control" – sip
"Blood libel" – sip Manishevitz
"Jobs" – sip
"Steve Jobs" – pound
"Teabaggers" – sip
"Don't touch my junk" – pound
"Sarah Palin" – sip
"Mama Grizzly" – pound
"Refudiate" – pound
"Hey Sarah, how's that cross-hairsy, targety thing working out for ya now?" –drink six-pack
2011 State of the Union Drinking Game "Job-killing" – sip
"Gun-killing" – pound
"TSA" – sip
"Grope" – pound
"Freedom pat" – drink entire bottle
"Birthers" – sip
"It reminds me of my childhood in Kenya" – pound
"Wikileaks" – take a bathroom break
"Deficit reduction plan" – sip
"I've put the Space Shuttle on eBay" – pound
"Repeal" –sip
"Hey Republicans, how about repealing your OWN government health care?" –pound
"Filibuster" – sip
"Bush's fault" –pound
"Socialism" – sip
"We are all Kenyans now" – pound
"Compromise" – sip
"Which is why I've agreed to permanently extend tax cuts for the rich in exchange for this handsome set of steak knives" – take this time to throw up
Obama Drinking Beers "Fox News" – sip
"As Glenn Beck showed us on his blackboard..." – kill yourself
"Afghanistan " – sip
"Jersey Shore" – pound
"Al Qaeda" – sip
"Al Roker" – pound
"To quote JFK" – sip
"To quote from Snooki's book" – take several shots until you get into a fight
"Ask not what your country can do for you...because we can't afford it." – pound
"The rent is too damn high" – sip
"Tweet" – sip
"Hold on, I just got a text" – pound
"Bipartisanship" – sip
"At the risk of making John Beohner cry, I'm going to read some passages from Old Yeller" – pound
"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" – sip
"Excuse me while I whip this out" – pound
"Civility" – sip
"Which is why I'm appointing Keith Olbermann as my new Secretary of the GOP Can Suck It" – pound
"Hillary, you mind switching seats with Biden?" –pound
"I'd like to thank my Teleprompter" – pound
"Rickey Gervais will give the next State of the Union Address" –pound
"Good night, and good luck" – pound

On-Camera Actions

Obama Drinking Game for State of the Union Obama calls attention to special guests –sip
Those special guests are the Salahis – pound
John Boehner shows off his unusually large gavel (compensating for his small government) – sip
Shot of Nancy Pelosi staring longingly (and unblinkingly) at the podium – sip
Shot of a Republican and Democrat sitting next to each other – sip
Shot of a row of Republicans or Democrats refusing to sit next to each other – sip
Shot of the Tea Party Caucus – sip
Shot of teabagging – pound
A Republican smiles – sip
A Republican stands up to applaud – pound
Michele Bachmann stands up to deliver her own State of the Union address – pound
John Roberts flips Obama off – pound
Shot of a Supreme Court Justice wearing a corporate sponsors logo – pound
Shot of Joe Lieberman, mistakenly identified by C-SPAN as Droopy Dog – sip
Shot of a door hitting Joe Lieberman in the butt – pound
Joe Biden leans over to John Boehner to tell him the speech is a big f*cking deal – sip
Boehner weeps – pound

Thanks to Warren Graff for helping us pour the booze.

Still not drunk yet? Try Will Durst's Obama 2011 State of the Union Drinking Game over at the Huffington Post.

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