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Daniel Kurtzman

Best Rick Santorum Jokes

By April 10, 2012

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Rick Santorum For Grand Inquisitor With his decision to pull out of the 2012 presidential campaign, Rick Santorum has dealt comedians yet another devastating blow. After losing Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, and Herman Cain, the prospect of facing seven more months of presidential politicking without a frothy mix of Santorum jokes is almost too much to bear.

As a tribute to Santorum, see our roundup of the funniest political cartoons and captioned photos poking fun at everyone's favorite sweater vest-wearing, gay-bashing, condom-hating crusader, as well as the best late-night jokes lampooning Santorum, and his own craziest quotes.

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Rick Santorum Jokes

Rick Santorum and Gay Sex "A recent survey showed that Rick Santorum is the favorite GOP candidate among Republican women. When he heard that, Santorum was like, 'Wait — women have the right to vote?'" —Jimmy Fallon

"Rick Santorum wants to crack down on pornography. Most political analysts say it could hurt him with the 'every single man in America' vote." —Jimmy Kimmel

"According to exit polls, Mitt Romney is struggling with voters who call themselves very conservative. However, Mitt is doing great with voters who describe themselves as being 'totally freaked out by Rick Santorum.'" —Conan O'Brien

"It took Romney millions of dollars and months of attacks to narrowly defeat a mental patient in a sweater vest." —Andy Borowitz

"I don't blame Santorum for not believing in evolution. It's really let him down." —Andy Borowitz

"Santorum made his very first sweater vest when he tore the arms off his straitjacket." —Andy Borowitz

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Craziest Rick Santorum Quotes

Crazy Rick Santorum Quotes "One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country.... Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that's okay, contraception is okay. It's not okay. It's a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be." —Rick Santorum

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See Also:
The 13 Best Santorum Spoofs
Twitter's Funniest Rick Santorum Drop-Out Jokes
Porn Stars Against Santorum

More 2012 Campaign Humor:
Funny Pics of the GOP Candidates
Best Cartoons on the GOP Race
Dumbest Quotes by the GOP Candidates

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Comments

April 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm
(1) Allyson says:

Now I get it! You never have to worry about contraception when you pull out early!

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