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Daniel Kurtzman

Paul Ryan Jokes

By August 15, 2012

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Paul Ryan Jokes The best late-night jokes poking fun at GOP vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan:

"In college Paul Ryan drove the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. So he and Romney have something in common. Both have the experience of driving a car with a dog on the roof." -David Letterman

"Mitt Romney is hoping to energize conservatives with his choice of Paul Ryan as running mate. That's like trying to spice up a bowl of oatmeal with more oatmeal." -Jimmy Fallon

"Mitt Romney kept his selection of Ryan as his VP nominee secret for more than a week. You know how he was able to keep it secret? He had it hidden next to his tax returns." -Jay Leno

"A new poll actually found that 42 percent of Americans do not approve of Mitt Romney's running mate, which isn't too bad considering most Americans don't approve of Paul Ryan's running mate." -Jimmy Fallon

"Paul Ryan is full of excitement, he's drawing big crowds. The only thing holding Paul Ryan back now according to political experts is Mitt Romney." -David Letterman

"Tell me one area where Paul Ryan and Sarah Palin would disagree? I cannot find one area. So somehow he's the smartest guy in the party and she's the stupidest woman on earth, but they agree on everything." -Bill Maher

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Comments

August 18, 2012 at 11:27 am
(1) biasbreakdown.com says:

Those aren’t that funny. These are funny:
• Seeking to regain the spotlight, current Vice President Joe Biden said he was in Virginia when he was actually in North Carolina, then took on a southern accent and told a largely black audience that Republicans would “put ya’ll back in chains”. When advised that “any publicity is good publicity” was actually not the first rule of politics, Biden responded, “Well then where did I get that from? Ten Commandments? Fight Club? Or is that the one where you don’t ever talk about it? I hope that’s not politics because I wouldn’t be good at that one.”
• The next day, actually in Virginia, Biden rhetorically asked, “’Folks, where’s it written we cannot lead the world in the 20th Century in making automobiles?” When asked for comment on the gaffe, Biden’s new counterpart Paul Ryan responded, “It’s actually a riddle, and the answer is old USSR history textbooks.” Because Paul Ryan is brilliant.

November 1, 2012 at 7:29 pm
(2) matt says:

They truly are lame.
It truly appears the media has coddled this little twit as I have yet to find any jokes anywhere near as downright brutal as those I have heard about the other three.

Also, anyone who beleives he is brilliant would have to be a reencarnated Neanderthal after a concussion.

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