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Daniel Kurtzman

Funniest Jon Stewart Quotes From 'Rumble' Debate With Bill O'Reilly

By October 9, 2012

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Bill O'Reilly-Jon Stewart Debate Jon Stewart trounced Bill O'Reilly in their highly anticipated mock debate, billed as "The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium." Here are Stewart's 10 funniest quotes from the night:

1. "Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you're a corporation, you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you're a moocher?"

2. After O'Reilly named Clint Eastwood as the famous person he'd pick for U.S. President. Stewart responded by getting out of his chair and addressing the seat cushion: "Why don't we ask him?"

3. "My friend Bill O'Reilly is completely full of sh*t. A good portion of this country has created an alternate universe in which the issues we face revolve around a woman from Georgetown." (Referring to Sandra Fluke)

4. "I'm here to plead to the mayor of Bullsh*t Mountain. Talk to your people!"

5. While discussing cutting funding for PBS: "Give me back the $800 billion for the Iraq war and children's television is on the house."

6. O'Reilly: "[Fox News] is making a billion dollars a year, so something's going right."
Stewart: "Yes, you can't make money selling crap in America."

7. Asked "Which famous person would you save if the U.S. were burning?", O'Reilly answered "Oprah -- she's worth about $100 billion." Stewart replied, "My family?"

8. "The first sentence of the Constitution mentions unions and welfare. I don't know what to tell ya."

9. When asked how he would justify voting for President Obama: "Here's what I would say -- turns out Lincoln ain't running this year."

10. Stewart's advice for young people:"Everybody talks about the entitlement generation. There is no time I would rather live in than now. ...There's a tendency to live in a nostalgic state in this country, and think that other generations possessed an integrity and a tenacity better than the generation that is now. I wholeheartedly disagree with that, and I believe this is a group that will rise up to any challenge that comes before them, as well as any other generation in America would have done. My advice to them would be to please don't think of me as an entitled moocher when I'm collecting my government benefits."

Read more highlights or watch the pay-per-view video of the Jon Stewart-Bill O'Reilly debate.

See Also:
Funny Late-Night Jokes
Best Jon Stewart Quotes Ever
Best Stephen Colbert Quotes Ever

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Comments

October 10, 2012 at 12:35 am
(1) Karl Pohlhaus says:

Bill Mentioned that there is a philosophical difference between himself and Jon Steward. That is true. It may not be the difference Bill mentioned. In fact, the difference stretches back to post Civil War times right up to the present and the Republican candidates running for office. It explains why corporations, banks, Energy companies, the military industrial complex, insurance companies, and the growing Investor class have a similar philosophy. Its quite simple and I am surprised it isn’t mentioned by the large Media corporations. But that may be because they share these priorities. It is this: “Republicans prioritize profit (including property, stocks, etc. ahead of people (the general welfare, minorities, salaried labor, etc.)
FDR revered this priority. Bill Clinton favored Wall Street and modified this priority and Barack Obama followed Bill Clinton. Its that simple folks.

October 10, 2012 at 2:06 am
(2) steve says:

Jon Stewart for President 2016-2024….PLEASE

October 10, 2012 at 7:38 am
(3) Kathy says:

Confused by the comment from Haakon. These were not quotes from a movie…they were from a mock political debate and were very quotable statements. This is why internet trolls are so annoying…they rarely know what they are talking about, but feel the need to spout their hypercritical opinions.
That being said, I really have more respect for Bill O’Reilly for his willingness to join in a conversation with Mr. Stewart. The conversation is silly at times, but it is still two adults, doing what they do best, and discussing their points of disagreement but not with that sort of angry and dismissive edge that sneaks into our political discourse.

October 10, 2012 at 10:06 pm
(4) TheFish says:

1. “Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you’re a corporation, you’re a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you’re a moocher?”

Umm…because one group is trying to keep more of the OWN money while the other group is using someone ELSE’S money?

October 12, 2012 at 9:42 am
(5) jj doe says:

Umm, where do you think those corporate billions come from? Overcharging for products and services, underpaying labor. It’s ALL someone else’s money. Like, OURS!
(compare upper management salaries in 1970 to today. Yes, all salaries went up, but the top tier soared. Did they get smarter? Do they really need a couple of vacation homes???)

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