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Daniel Kurtzman

Best Stephen Colbert Quotes Ever

By May 13, 2013

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Stephen Colbert Quotes Happy birthday to Stephen Colbert, who turns 49 today. As a tribute, we've compiled some of the best Stephen Colbert quotes of all time:

"Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, the exact same way that fire extinguishers cause fires." —Stephen Colbert

"If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it." —Stephen Colbert

"If you ignore something long enough, it will go away. Just look at Sarah Palin." —Stephen Colbert

"Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil." —Stephen Colbert

"Agnostics are just atheists without balls." —Stephen Colbert

"Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity." —Stephen Colbert

"The 'truthiness' is, anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news...at you.'' —Stephen Colbert

Read more classic Stephen Colbert quotes...

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