John Kerry's presidential campaign may be imploding, but that didn't stop him from making a grand entrance on "The Tonight Show" on Tuesday. Kerry rode a borrowed Harley-Davidson onto the set, dressed in a leather jacket, blue jeans and a denim shirt. "If he wins the election," quipped Jay Leno, "he will be the first president to ride a hog since Bill Clinton."

You know your presidential campaign isn't going well, though, when you have to follow a puppet act. Before Kerry's appearance, Leno hosted Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, the trash-talking puppet famous for his blunt verbal assaults. Triumph, with the help of his sidekick Robert Smigel, ripped Leno to shreds over his recent politicking.

"Wait a minute, I smell something…it's in your nose…Arnold Schwarzenegger's butt! Jay! This is wrong! You're whoring for the movie star. I know it's about the ratings. What's going on with this show? Yeah, the Terminator can take over the show, but John Kerry, a war veteran, has to follow a freaking dog puppet! What's going on in America???" (To listen to the audio clip, click here.)
• Related: Late-Night Jokes, Election 2004 Humor