1. Home
  2. Entertainment
  3. Political Humor
photo of Daniel Kurtzman

Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog

By Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor since 2000

Chris Rock Mocks Bush in Oscar Monologue

Monday February 28, 2005
Oscar host Chris Rock got in a few digs at President Bush in his opening monologue at the Acadamy Awards. Here's what he said:

"I'm not going to bash Bush here tonight. I saw 'Fahrenheit 9/11.' I think Bush is a genius. I think Bush did some things this year that nobody in this room could do. ... Because Bush basically reapplied for his job. And can you imagine applying for a job and while you're applying there's a movie in every theater in the country that shows how much you suck at the job? It would be hard to get hired, wouldn't it? I watched 'Fahrenheit.' I learned some stuff. Bush did some things you could never get away with at a real job.

When Bush got into office, there was a surplus of money -- now there's like a $70 trillion deficit. Now just imagine you work at the GAP. You close out your register and you're $70 trillion short. The average person would get in trouble for something like that. Not Bush. Then he started a war. ... Now just imagine you work at the GAP. You're $70 trillion behind on your register and then you start a war with the Banana Republic because you say they got toxic tank tops over there. You have the war, people are dying -- 1,000 GAP employees are dead, bleeding all over the khakis -- you finally take over Banana Republic and find they never made tank tops in the first place."

More Chris Rock jabs:

"Oprah is so rich that I saw John Kerry proposing to her just an hour ago."

On Michael Moore: "You know he’s thinking 'I should have made Super Size Me — I’ve done the research.'"

Related: Today's News | Today's Quotes | Today's Jokes

Comments

No comments yet. Leave a Comment

Leave a Comment

Line and paragraph breaks are automatic. Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title="">, <b>, <i>, <strike>

Explore Political Humor

More from About.com

  1. Home
  2. Entertainment
  3. Political Humor

©2008 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company.

All rights reserved.