California Recall Jokes

"When we finally have this recall election in October, there could be as many as 200 people on the ballot. And you know what's really scary? Most of them don't know the first thing about driving a state into bankruptcy. They're not experts like Governor Gray Davis." —Jay Leno

"You all know who Mary Carey is? She's the porn star who's running for governor, and she has this Web site where she does naked jumping jacks. You know, I think I speak to most guys when I say, 'Yeah, that's all well and good, but where does she stand on the issues?' ... Actually, Carey said today she's offered to debate six guys, all at the same time." —Jay Leno

"Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal — change our state bird to the spread eagle." —Craig Kilborn

"Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flint is also running for governor. I don't know, on election day, do you really want supporters of Larry Flint going into a curtained booth by themselves?" —Jay Leno "Arianna Huffington's former husband Michael — he's the gay ex-congressman — he has endorsed Arnold. So this is the second time he's left Arianna for another man." —Jay Leno

"Have you heard of this porn star named Mary Carey who is running for governor? Carey is running on a platform of taxing breast implants, which, of course, are California's largest natural resource." —Jay Leno "Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and adult film star Mary Carey, they're also running. See you know what bothers me about the two of them? See, this could split the all-important porn vote." —Jay Leno "As of today, Arnold Schwarzenegger has filed to run for governor, Gary Coleman has filed, Gallagher has filed, Larry Flynt, Angelyne — I don't know if it's an election or a bad episode of 'Hollywood Squares.'" —Jay Leno

"Today the Secretary of State said that of the 247 candidates, so far 115 of them have been certified. How embarrassing is that? Imagine if you were turned down because you didn't meet the high standards set by Larry Flynt and Gallagher." —Jay Leno

"California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils." —Jon Stewart

• More Jokes About Arnold Schwarzenegger
• More Jokes About the California Recall Election