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Monica Lewinsky Jokes

Late-Night Jokes About Monica Lewinsky (Post-Impeachment)

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"Monica Lewinsky is hosting a new reality show for Fox starting next week. The show is called 'Mr. Personality,' where a woman will try to choose between 20 men who all have masks on and Monica Lewinsky offers dating advice. Well, who better to offer advice on choosing a guy without seeing his face than Monica Lewinsky." —Jay Leno

"Monica Lewinsky has agreed to host a new Fox reality show called 'Mr. Personality.' Lewinsky says that this way when people ask her what's the most degrading thing she's ever done, she'll have a new answer." —Tina Fey, on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"Tonight I was switching back and forth between the new Monica Lewinsky show 'Mr. Personality' on Fox and 'CSI: Miami' on CBS, and I swear for a split-second I caught the world's biggest chalk outline." —Craig Kilborn"

"Monica Lewinsky has returned to network TV. ... I remember years ago she said she wanted her life back. Then I guess she got it back and said 'Well, this sucks.' ... She's hosting a show called 'Mr. Personality' because apparently the new Fox show 'Blow Jobs, Blow Jobs, Blow Jobs,' isn't ready." —Jon Stewart

"Fox has debuted a new reality show called 'Mr. Personality' starring Monica Lewinsky who interviews dozens of bachelors who all wear masks. Apparently, all of the bachelors wear masks because they're embarrassed to be on a show with Monica Lewinsky." —Conan O'Brien

"The Fox network has hired Monica Lewinsky to be the host of a new reality show. ... In this time of crisis wouldn't Monica be much more help overseas entertaining our troops?" —Jay Leno

"The military said we'll be able to confirm Saddam is dead with DNA testing. Apparently we have a sample of his DNA. So Monica Lewinsky is working for the CIA?" —Jay Leno"Monica Lewinsky has her own show on HBO. I have not seen it yet but I understand it's getting very good word of mouth." —David Letterman

"Did anybody watch the Monica Lewinsky documentary on HBO? You think Clinton watched it? Think Clinton spent all day yesterday hiding the remote? I understand Linda Tripp taped it. ... Did you notice that throughout the whole thing, Monica was sitting on the floor of the stage. Doesn't this woman ever stand up? ... Think Monica's 15 minutes of stain might be up?" —Jay Leno

"Monica Lewinsky was on Larry King Live tonight. Monica really liked Larry King. Actually, she likes any guy with a desk." —David Letterman

"Monica Lewinsky told this month's Cosmo magazine that if it weren't for Bill Clinton, she would be a mom now, with two kids. Really? Not the way she was doing it." —Jay Leno

"You know who was at the Vanity Fair (Academy Awards) party? Monica Lewinsky. She was sitting right next to me. I was at table 14; she was under table 12." —Jay Leno

"Celebrity birthdays, today Monica Lewinsky is 28. It seemed like just yesterday she was crawling around on the floor in the Oval Office." —David Letterman

"Monica Lewinsky has gained back all the weight she lost last year. I believe that's the cover story in Newsweek. In fact, she told reporters she was even considering having her jaw wired shut, but then, nah — she didn't want to give up her sex life." —Jay Leno

"It seems Monica Lewinsky is on the loose again, teaming up with HBO to do a documentary about her affair with Bill Clinton. It's not really a documentary. It will be more of an oral history." —Jay Leno

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