Humorous Quotes from the Dem Convo

"You know, folks, that's the America that George Bush has left us. And that's the America we'll continue to get if George -- excuse me, if John McCain is elected president of the United States of America. Freudian slip. Freudian slip." –Democratic Vice Presidential Nominee Joe Biden

"We can't simply drill our way to energy independence if you drilled everywhere, if you drilled in all of John McCain's backyards, even the ones he doesn't know he has." –Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer

"If he's the answer, then the question must be ridiculous." --New York Gov. David Patterson, on John McCain

Read more quotes from the convention...

Late-Night Jokes about the Dem Convo

"Hillary Clinton gave a big speech at the Democratic Convention in support of Barack Obama. Experts say it was the longest speech ever delivered entirely through clenched teeth." --Conan O'Brien

"She must prove she loves America, as opposed to Republicans, who everyone knows love America. They just hate half the people living in it." –-Jon Stewart, on pundits calling for Michelle Obama to prove she is patriotic in her convention speech

Read more convention jokes...

Letterman Top 10 Lists

Top 10 Democratic National Convention Pickup Lines
#10: Wanna form a more perfect union?

Top 10 Things Overheard at the Democratic National Convention
#6: "Senator Biden, do you think you'll shoot an old guy in the face?"

Top 10 Ways to Make the Democratic Convention More Fun
#10: Offer John McCain $1 million if he correctly guesses how many homes he owns

More Convention Humor:
Democratic Convention Cartoons (About.com)
Democratic Convention Schedule (About.com)
Hillary's Convention Speech (Daily Show)
Analyzing Hillary's Speech (Colbert)
Healing Clinton Supporters (Daily Show)
New McCain Ad Attacks Obama Kids (Borowitz)
Why Obama's Daughters Shouldn't Be Given Microphones (Conan O'Brien)
Mo Rocca at the Convention (Tonight Show)
Democrats Dancing Like Republicans (23/6)

As Barack Obama gets ready to accept the Democratic nomination, we salute the best Obama humor to date:

Best Obama Joke: "After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born." --Jon Stewart, on Barack Obama's Middle East trip (More Obama jokes)

Funniest Obama Quote: "I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go." –Barack Obama, at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon (Watch video clip)

Best Obamaisms: Slate's Encyclopedia Baracktannica, featuring such neologisms as "Barack Ness Monster," "Post-Baracalyptic," "Barackturnal," "Obamatose," "Baracklamation," and "Post-Baratic Stress Disorder"

Best Obama Nickname: Joe Biden Accidentally Calling Obama "Barack America"

Best Obama Spoof Video: The Empire Strikes Barack

Best Obama Dance Video: Barack-Roll (a twist on the Internet phenomenon knows as Rickrolling)

Best Obama Music Video: Obama Girl's "Crush on Obama"

Best Obama Cartoon: Obama at Clinton Convention

Worst Obama Cartoon: The New Yorker's Obama Cartoon

Funniest Obama Picture: Not. This. Time.

Read more...

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:30 PM – Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton
5:15 PM – John Edwards Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite from Hotel Bathroom
11:30 PM – Al Gore Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama via Text Message Sent by Scarlett Johansson

Read more Democratic Convention highlights…

Late-Night Jokes About the 2008 DNC

"The theme of the Democratic Convention is unity. Unfortunately they can't agree on how that works." --David Letterman

"Tomorrow night at the Democratic Convention to show her support for Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton is going to give a speech. Everyone's waiting to hear what she says, yeah. Hillary's speech is entitled, 'Forget All Those Things I Said During The Primaries.'" --Conan O'Brien

Read more jokes...

See also:
Democratic Convention Cartoons
Best Obama Jokes
Balloon Drop Failure at 2004 DNC

Joe Biden not only brings a long resume and foreign policy gravitas to the Obama campaign, he will also help boost the humor quotient of the Democratic ticket.

Biden is known for his biting wit, and he delivered some of the best zingers during the Democratic primary debates.

In one memorable dig at Rudy Giuliani, Biden said, "There's only three things he mentions in a sentence -- a noun, a verb, and 9/11." (Watch video clip)

He also gave a hilarious answer to Brian Williams when he brought up the issue of Biden's "uncontrolled verbosity" and tendency to be a "gaffe machine." After Williams asked whether Biden would "have the discipline you would need on the world stage," Biden deadpanned a simple, one-word answer. "Yes," he said, as the audience erupted in laughter (Watch video clip)

Of course, this is also a guy who once said of Obama, "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

So it's safe to say that with Biden, we're in for a wild ride.

Related:
Joe Biden Jokes
Funny Biden Quotes
Funny Obama Quotes
Best Obama Humor