"Governor Sarah Palin gave her speech tonight at the GOP Convention, and it gave people who didn't know anything about her the chance to finally meet her, you know, like John McCain." --Jay Leno

"Delegates were captivated by Palin's speech; at one point while she was speaking, the room got so quiet, you could hear Larry Craig's toilet flush." --David Letterman

Read more late-night jokes...

GOP Convention Highlights

Best dressed: Cindy McCain, whose convention outfit reportedly cost $300,000. That's enough to buy another house, but remember, it's the Obamas who are supposedly the elitists in this race.

Warmest embrace by the Republican establishment: Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin's baby daddy and a self-described "f**king redneck", who found himself on stage alongside McCain and Palin after her acceptance speech. As TMZ noted, unprotected sex has its perks.

Most unnecessary revelation: Fred Thompson felt compelled to share the following tidbit about McCain's wild youth, saying, "In high school and the Naval Academy, John earned the reputation as a trouble-maker. He was the leader of the trouble-makers. In Pensacola in flight school, he did drive a Corvette and date a girl who worked in a bar as an (hand quotes) exotic dancer under the name of Marie: The Flame of Florida.'"

Best lie: "I told Congress, 'Thanks, but no thanks,' on that Bridge to Nowhere." --Sarah Palin, who was for the Bridge to Nowhere before she was against it (Read more Palin lies)

Best convention giveaway: The Log Cabin Republicans' black condoms featuring Barack Obama's face surrounded by a red circle and slash. At least someone in the Republican party still believes in safe sex.

Best spit shine: 7-year-old Piper Palin, who while holding brother Trig during her mother's acceptance speech, was seen licking her hand and smoothing the baby's hair

Most blatant hypocrisy on Palin: A tie between Karl Rove, Bill O'Reilly, and Dick Morris, as evidenced in this must-see Daily Show segment

Read more...

Check out a series of amusing doctored photos and parodies inspired by Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin Jokes

"How many of you folks saw that last night, the Vice President, Republican Sarah Palin? Whoa, man, I like that Sarah Palin – looks like the weekend anchor on Channel 9. She looks like the hygienist who makes you feel guilty about not flossing. She looks like the relieved mom in a Tide commercial." --David Letterman

"And how are you going to be the vice president of the United States with five kids to take care of? She's got a four-month-old of her own, she's about to become a grandmother, and she's partnered with John McCain. How many diapers can one woman possibly change?" --Jimmy Kimmel

"Speaking of Sarah Palin, she said she's a life-long member of the National Rifle Association. Which may explain why she's in favor of shotgun weddings." --Conan O'Brien

Read more Sarah Palin jokes...

See also:
Sarah Palin Cartoons (About.com)
Jon Stewart on Sarah Palin Hypocrisy (Daily Show)
A Photo History of Community Organizers (Daily Kos)
Why the Media Should Apologize for Palin Coverage (Politico)
Unprotected Sex Has Its Perks (TMZ)
John McCain's Phone Call to Sarah Palin (YouTube)
Levi Johnson's Convention Diary (Borowitz Report)
Wasilla, Alaska: If You Lived Here, You'd Get Pregnant Too (23/6)
Bristol Palin's Fetus speaks at RNC (NotTheLATimes)
Palin's Daughter and GOP Family Values (The Nation)
Palin Blames Daughter's Pregnancy on Media (Borowitz Report)
Bristol Palin's Redneck Baby Daddy (Daily Mail)
Say Hello to America's Newest Shotgun-in-Law, Levi Johnston (23/6)
Palin Does the Elaine Dance (iBored)

4:00 PM - Opening Prayers and Massages Administered by Rev. Ted Haggard
7:45 PM - Invitation to "Strip Down and Get Relaxed," delivered by Mark Foley via Instant Message
8:00 PM - Lecture on the Effectiveness of Abstinence-Only Education - Sarah Palin
9:00 PM - Group Sing-Along: "Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran"
11:00 PM - John McCain Acceptance Speech and Plea to Delegates to "Get Off My Lawns"

Read more Republican Convention highlights…

See also:
Democratic Convention Schedule
Sarah Palin Jokes
Funny Sarah Palin Pictures
Best McCain Jokes