|
Secret Service Locator Box |
| POTUS: Situation Room, playing video golf |
| VPOTUS: Oval Office, meeting with Vladimir Putin |
| FLOTUS: Second floor residence, recording presidential briefing books onto books on tape |
| FIRST DAUGHTER JENNA: University of Texas fraternity party, slamming beer bong |
| FIRST DAUGHTER BARBARA: Yale University library, writing steamy love letters to first cousin George P. |
Bush's
Index
(Updated As Events Warrant)
Alert Status: DEFCON 5
Presidential Blood Alcohol Level: 0.0
Status of Dick Cheney: Alive
Annual Presidential Salary: $400,000
Estimated Total Annual Income: $1.6 million
Current Bush Net Worth: $16.9 million
Annual Amount Bush Expected to Save From Bush Tax Plan: $100,000
Current Price of Gasoline: $1.49/gallon
Spending Time With Dad Plotting Against Saddam Hussein: Priceless
Polar Ice Caps: Intact
Spotted Owls Remaining: 5,000 Pairs
Abortion: Legal
Current Ranking By Presidential Historians: 44/43
Current Ranking By Political Humorists: 2/43
Bush Job Approval Rating: 42 percent
Cheney Job Approval Rating: 49 percent
Re-election Prospects: Too close to call
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Related Links |
