| The Dumbest Quotes of 2004 | |
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Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman "You
said something I didn't say. Now shove it!" —Teresa Heinz Kerry, telling
off a reporter "We
are in a three-way split decision for third place." —Sen.
Joseph Lieberman (D-CT), on his fifth place finish in the New Hampshire primary "This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation...I'm talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You ever heard of the need to blow some steam off?" --Talk show host Rush Limbaugh, on the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal "You've got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops. And I'm for the president to chase them all over the world. If it takes 10 years, blow them all away in the name of the Lord." --Rev. Jerry Falwell "We have a voice now, and we're not using it, and women have so much to lose. I mean, we could lose the right to our bodies. We could lo — if you think that rape should be legal, then don't vote." —Actress Cameron Diaz "Well, you know, I'm electable if you vote for me." —Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich, after a panelist in a Democratic debate said he wasn't electable "A place that would be pretty much like the place that I would have grown up in, I think, if I had have grown up here." —Conservative commentator Alan Keyes, on the Chicago neighborhood he chose to rent in after moving to the state to run for the U.S. Senate "That's not the way the world really works anymore. We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality — judiciously, as you will — we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do." —an anonymous Bush administration aide, explaining to journalist Ron Ruskin that he was "in what we call the reality-based community," which he defined as people who ''believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality.'' "Can I get me a hunting license here?" --Sen. John Kerry, at a Ohio grocery store "Vote your heart and mind and keep bush where it belongs." —Comedian Whoopi Goldberg, waving a bottle of wine and pointing to her genitals during a controversial comedy routine at a Kerry-Edwards fundraiser "If you were to talk to Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, she would tell you that she's being who she was, she's being who she was born as." —Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) "It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States." —Vice President Dick Cheney "Many of you are well enough off
that...the tax cuts may have helped you. We're saying that for America to get
back on track, we're probably going to cut that short and not give it to you.
We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." —Hillary
Clinton "It's no fun to
protest on an empty stomach." —New York City Michael Bloomberg, on giving
out restaurant coupons to protesters at the Republican Convention on the
condition that they promised to demonstrate peacefully "I
want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." —President Bush "I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job." —President Bush, to a group of Amish he met with privately "This was a government issue. It's
accepted practice to socialize with executive branch officials when there are
not personal claims against them. That's all I'm going to say for now. Quack.
Quack." —Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, on going duck hunting with
Vice President Dick Cheney while he had a case before the court "Now that we're on dog pee, we can have an
interesting conversation about that. I do not recommend drinking urine…but if
you drink water straight from the river, you have a greater chance of getting an
infection than you do if you drink urine." —Former Vermont Gov. Howard
Dean, teaching an eight-grade science class in La Crosse, Wisconsin "I'm
just looking to get together with any white guy who's got a great body on him, a
good size endowment that's cut, just get together, get naked, play with one
another, get each other off. Nothing hardcore. I have to be incredibly careful,
incredibly safe, incredibly discreet. I can't overemphasize that." —Rep.
Edward Schrock (R-Va.), who dropped his bid for re-election after a gay activist
posted audio
files on his Web site of Schrock leaving recordings on a gay sex personals
phone line "I
want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial
entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our
country." —President Bush
"For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do," —Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson, upon resigning "The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved." —Attorney General John Ashcroft, upon resigning "The
NEA is a terrorist organization." —Education
Secretary Rod Paige, on the National Education Association "I
own a timber company? That's news to me. Need
some wood?" —President Bush, during the second presidential debate, failing to realize that
he qualified as a small business owner on his 2001 federal tax return because of
his part ownership of a timber company "Lesbianism
is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let
one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is
it that that's happened to us?" —Rep.
Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) "I
saw a poll that said the right track/wrong track in Iraq was better than here in
America. It's pretty darn strong. I mean, the people see a better future." —President Bush "The
most profound purpose of polls is to see how people are responding to God."
—George
Gallup Jr. of the Gallup
Poll ''I don't know why you're talking about Sweden. They're the neutral one. They don't have an army.'' —President Bush, during an Oval Office meeting with Rep. Tom Lantos, as reported by the New York Times "Clothing
is wonderful, but let them go naked for a while, at least the kids." —Teresa
Heinz Kerry, advising hurricane relief workers to send food and water before
clothes "They could still be there like the 50 tons of mustard gas hidden on a turkey farm." —President Bush, on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction "Oh,
no, we're not going to have any casualties." —President
Bush discussing the Iraq war with Chirstian Coalition founder Pat Robertson,
when Robertson told him he should prepare
the American people for casualties "Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?" —Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) "The
really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway." —President
Bush, explaining why high taxes on the rich are a failed strategy "After
standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have
an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week — we will have an all-volunteer
army!" —President Bush (Watch
video) ~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman < Previous Page - The 25 Dumbest Quotes of 2004 Did we miss a dumb quote? Send it to politicalhumor.guide@about.com. Related
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