|The Wit and Wisdom of John Kerry|
|Funny Quotes from the 2004 Campaign Trial|
Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman
"You get the feeling that if George Bush had been President during other periods in American history, he would have sided with the candle lobby against electricity, the buggy-makers against cars, and typewriter companies against computers."
"I guess the president and you and I are three examples of lucky people who married up. And some would say maybe me more so than others." --during the third presidential debate
big hang-up was George Bush wanted to get life lines, you know, so he could call
somebody." -discussing the debate negotiations with Regis Philbin
the training wheels fall off?" -after being told by reporters that
President Bush took a tumble during a bike ride
I am in the state of New Mexico. George Bush is still in the state of denial.
New Mexico has five electoral votes. The state of denial has none. I like my
Iraq in response to 9/11 would be like Franklin Roosevelt invading Mexico in
response to Pearl Harbor."
lectured by the president on fiscal responsibility is a little bit like Tony
Soprano talking to me about law and order in this country."
can claim Bush as a dependent." -item #3 on Kerry's "Top 10"
list of Bush tax proposals, as read on the "Late Show With David
be amazed at the number of people who want to introduce themselves to you in the
men's room. It's the most bizarre part of this entire thing."
got better vision. We've got better ideas. We've got real plans.
just want to assure you that both President Bush and I have very firm
alibis." -- after three Davenport, Iowa banks were robbed while Kerry and
Bush were campaigning in the city at the same time
your horse is headed down toward the waterfalls or your horse is
the event of emergency, my hair can be used as a flotation device," on
board the inaugural flight of his refurbished Boeing 757
you think Dick Cheney is cursing now, wait until November 2nd when we finish
doing what we're going to do." -on Cheney telling Sen. Patrick Leahy to
"go f**k yourself"
want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the
presidents we've had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the
promise just to serve two terms. Republicans do it differently. They just have
the son repeat the father's whole first term."
you have to go through a program for that, or do you just some day
figured out Karl Rove's political strategy -- make gas so expensive, no
Democrats can afford to go to the polls."
crossed paths. Are there pictures of us dancing on a bar
together? No. I don't
have that." -on his run-ins with George W. Bush at Yale
Bush is a walking contradiction, a walking barrel of broken
been having problems with the right wing lately." --after undergoing
surgery on his right shoulder
glad the President finally found an economic development program. I'm just sad
that it's only in Baghdad."
friends, that's trickle-down economics, and I believe every worker in America is
tired of being trickled on by George W. Bush"
Bush thought he could play dress-up on an aircraft carrier and you wouldn't
notice. Ask yourself, whose mission is accomplished?"
~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman
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