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George W. Bush vs. the Taliban
Mullah Mohammed Hasan Akhund,
the deputy Taliban leader, and George W. Bush agree to meet in Kabul for the
first round of talks in a new anti-terrorism process. When George sits down, he
notices three buttons on the arm of Akhund's chair. They begin talking.
After about five minutes
Akhund presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk
and punches Bush in the face. Annoyed, Bush carries on talking as Akhund laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out
and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Akhund laughs, and again George carries on
talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two
countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and
kicks Bush square in the privates, he's finally had enough.
"I'm headin' back
home!" he calmly tells the Afghan. "We'll finish these talks in
Washington in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Akhund
flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Akhund notices
three buttons on Bush's chair arm and prepares himself for the Texan's
retaliation. They begin talking and George presses the first button. Akhund
ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers but they continue talking. A few
minutes later he presses the second button. Akhund jumps up, but again nothing
happens. Bush roars with laughter. They continue the talks but when the third
button is pressed, Akhund jumps up again, but again nothing happens.
Bush falls on the floor in a
fit of hysterics. "Forget this," says Akhund. "I'm going back to
Afghanistan!" George W. says, through tears of laughter, "What
Afghanistan?"
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