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Election Tie-Breaker
On Election Night 2004, the
returns showed Kerry 50%, Bush 50%. To avoid another Supreme Court case, it was
decided that there should be an ice-fishing contest between the two candidates
to determine the final winner. The candidate that caught the most fish at the
end of the week would win.
After a lot of back-and-forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would
take place on a remote and cold lake in Wisconsin. There were to be no observers
present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and
return daily with their catch for counting and verification.
At the end of the first day, Kerry returns to the starting line with 10 fish.
Soon, W. returns and has zero fish. Everyone assumes he is just having a bad day
or something and, hopefully, he will catch up the next day.
At the end of the second day, Kerry comes in with 20 fish and W. comes in again
with none.
That evening, Dick Cheney gets together secretly with W. and says, "I think
Kerry is a lowlife, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and
don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any
way."
The next night (after Kerry comes back with 50 fish), Cheney says to Bush,
"Well, what about it, is Kerry cheatin'?"
"He sure is, he's cutting holes in the ice."
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