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Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions
inthe seventh largest country in the world, California.
White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as the California's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern
United States crops & livestock.
Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.
Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at
Sotheby's for $4.6 million.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in
the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan,
Syria,and Lebanon.)
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it
will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars
can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all
smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to
weight loss.
Texas executes last remaining citizen.
Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet,
seven inches.
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest
version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
New federal law requires that all nail
clippers, screw-drivers and baseball bats must be registered by January 2036.
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