By Daniel Kurtzman

May 6, 2002

Assuming the role of comedian in chief, President Bush poked fun at everyone from heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne to Hillary Clinton at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday.

Even Dick Cheney received a ribbing when Bush treated the Washington elite to a picture in which the vice president appeared to be urinating on the door of the Oval Office.

It was just one of many glimpses of life inside the Bush White House that President Bush provided as part of a collection of "actual never-seen-before-photos."

"Dick, I hope you're not doing what it looks like you're doing," Bush quipped as he narrated the gag slide show.

The comedy routine drew laughter from the Washington power players and Hollywood celebrities gathered at the annual comedy showcase, which brought together the likes of Donald Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice, Harrison Ford, Christie Brinkley and Osbourne for a night that might have been more appropriately billed as "Ozzypalooza."

Osbourne, the star of the hit MTV reality series "The Osbournes," upstaged the rest of the illuminati and basically stole the show. When Bush mentioned Osbourne by name, the aging rock legend climbed up on a chair and threw his arms in the air, drawing wild cheers and prompting Bush to say, "OK, Ozzy ... Might have been a mistake."

Bush jokingly hailed Osbourne for making such recordings as "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath," "Face in Hell," and "Bloodbath in Paradise," saying "Ozzy, mom loves your stuff."

Osbourne was once banned from Texas for urinating on the Alamo, so the joke about Cheney peeing was not a complete non-sequitur. Bush showed a series of photos of top administration officials peering through a peephole that looks into the Oval Office, followed by a staged photo in which Cheney was shown from the back with his hands in front of him, suggesting he might be relieving himself on the door.

Call it trickle-down economics, Bush and Cheney style.

Did the Bushies really install a peephole when they took over? Unknown. But there's nothing like a little bathroom humor to drive home the point that your administration has restored honor and dignity to the Oval Office.

Other highlights from the night:

• Showing a picture of First Lady Laura Bush pressing her hands to his face, Bush said, "She helps me in a million ways. Here, she is helping me pronounce Azerbaijani."
  
• Showing a picture of a woman clad in a full-length blue burqa, Bush said, "For political reasons, some Democrats prefer that it not be known they are working with a Republican president, so they slip in the back door - like Hillary Clinton here."
  
• Comparing the similarities between Osbourne and Bush, comedian Drew Carey, the evening's official entertainment said, "They both partied a little too hard when they were younger. Half the time you can't understand a word either of them is saying. And neither one of them can make a move without their wife's approval."
  
• Bush, noting that Carey is the host of a show that is "totally improvised," said, "Drew? Got any interest in the Middle East?"
  
• Osbourne reportedly greeted the president by pointing to his long, stringy pink-and-brown hair and saying "You should wear your hair like mine!" - to which Bush responded, "Second term, Ozzy!"

Bush's shtick was fairly amusing - and the guys back at the frat house probably thought it was a real hoot - but it was still a rather odd comedic routine for a wartime president. Which isn't to say that a president shouldn't be cracking jokes when the country is at war. You'd just think Bush's image handlers would have opted to steer clear of depicting the White House as a playpen, or at least gone for something a little higher brow.

President Clinton did a masterful job depicting behind-the-scenes West Wing antics when he screened a spoof video at the 2000 White House Correspondents Dinner showing how he was spending his final days in office. But those were different times.

Bush is clearly capable of pulling off a solid comedic performance, as evidenced at last year's Radio & TV Correspondents dinner, where he poked fun at his flair for butchering the English language.

But until Bush shows more of the trademark wit for which he is supposedly famous - or at least hires some better joke writers - Clinton remains the king of presidential comedy.

Related Links
• White House Correspondents' Dinners
• Clinton's "Final Days" Farewell Video
• Clinton Humor
• Bush Humor