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Democratic Convention Quotes

Funniest Quotes from the 2012 DNC

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Democratic Convention Quotes
See Also:
Funniest Pictures from the Conventions
Best Democratic Convention Jokes

Here's a look back at some of the most humorous quotes from the Democratic National Convention:

President Obama

"You might not be ready for diplomacy with Beijing if you can't visit the Olympics without insulting our closest ally."

"They want your vote, but they don't want you to know their plan. And that's because all they have to offer is the same prescription they've had for the last thirty years: 'Have a surplus? Try a tax cut. Deficit too high? Try another. Feel a cold coming on? Take two tax cuts, roll back some regulations, and call us in the morning!'"

"If you're sick of hearing me approve this message, believe me, so am I."

"Yes, you do have to go to school in the morning." —to his daughters

Bill Clinton

"In Tampa, the Republican argument against the president's reelection was actually pretty simple — pretty snappy. It went something like this: We left him a total mess. He hasn't cleaned it up fast enough. So fire him and put us back in."

"When Congressman Ryan looked into that TV camera and attacked President Obama's Medicare savings as 'the biggest, coldest power play,' I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Key cuts that $716 billion is exactly to the dollar the same amount of medicare savings that he had in his own budget. It takes some brass to attack a guy for doing what you did."

"They want to go back to the same old policies that got us into trouble in the first place: to cut taxes for high income Americans even more than President Bush did; to get rid of those pesky financial regulations designed to prevent another crash and prohibit future bailouts; to increase defense spending two trillion dollars more than the Pentagon has requested without saying what they'll spend the money on; to make enormous cuts in the rest of the budget, especially programs that help the middle class and poor kids. As another President once said — there they go again."

"People have predicted our demise ever since George Washington was criticized for being a mediocre surveyor with a bad set of wooden false teeth."

John Kerry

"Ask Osama bin Laden if he's better off now than he was four years ago."

"It isn't fair to say Mitt Romney doesn't have a position on Afghanistan. He has every position. He was against setting a date for withdrawal — then he said it was right — and then he left the impression that maybe it was wrong to leave this soon. He said it was ''tragic'' to leave Iraq, and then he said it was fine. ... Talk about being for it before you were against it! Mr. Romney — here's a little advice: Before you debate Barack Obama on foreign policy, you better finish the debate with yourself!"

"Folks, Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from Alaska. Mitt Romney talks like he's only seen Russia by watching Rocky IV."

"For Mitt Romney, an overseas trip is what you call it when you trip all over yourself overseas. It wasn't a goodwill mission — it was a blooper reel."

Joe Biden

"Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive."

Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland

"If Mitt was Santa Claus, he'd fire the reindeer and outsource the elves."

"Barack Obama is betting on the American worker. Mitt Romney is betting on a Bermuda shell corporation."

"Barack Obama saved the American auto industry. Mitt Romney saved on his taxes."

Jennifer Granholm, former governor of Michigan

"Sure, Mitt Romney loves our lakes and trees. He loves our cars so much, they have their own elevator. But the people who design, build, and sell those cars? Well, in Romney's world, the cars get the elevator; the workers get the shaft."

"America, let's rev our engines! In your car and on your ballot, the 'D' is for drive forward, and the 'R' is for reverse. And in this election, we're driving forward, not back."

San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro

"Governor Romney has undergone an 'extreme makeover,' and it ain't pretty."

Kal Penn, actor and former associate director in the White House Office of Public Engagement

"I've worked on a lot of fun movies, but my favorite job was having a boss who gave the order to take out bin Laden — and who's cool with all of us getting gay-married. Thank you, invisible man in the chair, for that, and for giving my friends access to affordable health insurance and doubling funding for the Pell grant."

"Before I close, and as I wonder which Twitter hashtags you'll start using when I'm done talking, hash tag sexyface. I ask all you young people to join me. You don't even have to put pants on."

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