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John Kennedy Quotes

Funny and Witty Quotes by President John F. Kennedy


President John F. Kennedy
See Also:
Funniest Presidential Quotes
Dumbest Presidential Quotes
Funniest Political Quotes

"I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone." --President John Kennedy, at a dinner honoring Nobel Prize winners of the Western Hemisphere, the White House, April 29, 1962

"I just received the following wire from my generous Daddy: "Dear Jack, Don't buy a single vote more than is necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide."' --President John Kennedy

"Just think what my margin might have been if I had never left home at all." --President John Kennedy, commenting on the fact that he had campaigned hard in Alaska and lost but won Hawaii handily without visiting it

"Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Richard Nixon and the White House." –President John Kennedy

"Let's not talk so much about vice. I'm against vice in any form." --President John Kennedy, to a friend who was telling him that he could be vice-presidential candidate in 1960

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." --President John Kennedy

"You know nothing for sure...except the fact that you know nothing for sure." --President John Kennedy

"It was absolutely involuntary. They sank my boat." --President John Kennedy, answering a little boy on how he became a war hero

“I do not think it entirely inappropriate to introduce myself to this audience. I am the man who accompanied Jacqeline Kennedy to Paris, and I have enjoyed it.” –President John Kennedy

"I see nothing wrong with giving Robert some legal experience as Attorney General before he goes out to practice law." --President John Kennedy on his brother, Robert Kennedy

"I will introduce myself. I am Ted Kennedy's brother, and I'm glad to be here tonight." --President John Kennedy

"On this matter of experience, I had announced earlier this year that if successful I would not consider campaign contributions as a substitute for experience in appointing ambassadors. Even since I made that statement I have not received one single cent from my father." --John Kennedy in October 1960

"Those of you who regard my profession of political life with some disdain should remember that it made it possible for me to move from being an obscure lieutenant in the United States Navy to Commander-in-chief in fourteen years with very little technical experience." --President John Kennedy

"My experience in government is that when things are non-controversial, beautifully coordindated and all the rest, it must be that there is not much going on." --President John Kennedy

"Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm." --President John Kennedy

"There is no city in the United States in which I get a warmer welcome and less votes than Columbus, Ohio." --President John Kennedy

"Dante once said that the hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in a period of moral crisis maintain their neutrality.” –President John Kennedy

"I know there are some Republicans and some Democrats who say that they have now developed a wonderful arrangement in Washington. The congress is Democratic and the President is Republican and nothing happens, and isn't it wonderful?" –President John Kennedy

"Khrushchev reminds me of the tiger hunter who has picked a place on the wall to hang the tiger's skin long before he has caught the tiger. This tiger has other ideas." –President John Kennedy

"We must use time as a tool, not as a couch." –President John Kennedy

"When we (The Democrats) got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were." –President John Kennedy

"You don't fire God." –President John Kennedy on his reluctance to replace Herbert Hoover as FBI director

"Sometimes I wish I just had a summer job here." –President John Kennedy to students working in Washington

"Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process." –President John Kennedy

"The day before my inauguration President Eisenhower told me, 'You'll find that no easy problems ever come to the President of the United States. If they are easy to solve, somebody else has solved them.'" –President John Kennedy

"Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.” –President John Kennedy

“Look at that, I have a total fiasco and my poll ratings go up. What am I going to do to get them up further?" –President John Kennedy

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived, and dishonest -- but the myth -- persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic." –President John Kennedy

"The pay is good and I can walk to work." –President John Kennedy

"Well, I'm reading more and enjoying it less." –President John Kennedy when asked to comment on the press treatment of his administration

Question: "The Republican National Committee recently adopted a resolution saying you were pretty much of a failure. How do you feel about that?" Kennedy: "I assume it passed unanimously."

"They won because they were effective candidates. But they ran as Democrats. And I believe that it indicates that the American people believe that the candidates and parties in those areas, as well as nationally, are committed to progress. So I am happy, and I suppose some day we will lose and then I'll have to eat those words." –President John Kennedy on Democrats winning gubernatorial races in New York and New Jersey, November 1961

"It has recently been suggested that whether I serve one or two terms in the presidency, I will find myself at the end of that period at what might be called the awkward age, too old to begin a new career and too young to write my memoirs." –President John Kennedy in February 1961

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