Occupy Wall Street Jokes

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• Best Occupy Wall Street Signs
• Occupy Wall Street Cartoons
• Funny Occupy Wall Street Pictures

"They had a midnight raid and they cleaned out Zucotti Park where the Occupy Wall Streeters were camped out for about two months. So if you're keeping score, here's what the score is now: Eighty down in Zucotti Park; Wall Street executives arrested: Zero." –David Letterman

"Occupy Wall Street protesters are planning to occupy the subway in New York City. Because if there's one place to confront the nation's wealthiest 1 percent, it's the subway." –Conan O'Brien

"Over the weekend in New York, two Occupy Wall Street protesters got married at the protest. They are registered at Bed, Bath, and Seriously, You Need to Take a Bath." –Conan O'Brien

"Police in New York City cleared Zuccotti Park of the Occupy Wall Street protesters. Why don't we let them occupy basketball arenas around the countries. We're not using them." –Jay Leno

"Last night Occupy Wall Street protesters were removed by Cesarean. The Founding Fathers never intended indefinite free speech. They assumed after two weeks any protest would be wiped out by smallpox." –Stephen Colbert

"More than 3 million people from Maine to Maryland lost power because of the snowstorms over the weekend. In New York, the Occupy Wall Street protesters are thinking of changing the name to 'I'm freezing my beard off.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"Herman Cain told a group of Occupy Wall Street protesters to go home, get a job, and get a life. That's the Republican version of hope and change, ladies and gentlemen." –Jay Leno

"Earlier this week, a protester at Occupy Wall Street proposed to his girlfriend. His exact words were, 'Will you occupy my parents' basement with me until I get a job?'" -Conan O'Brien

"This Occupy Wall Street movement is not going away. They called yesterday for a general strike, for people to stay home from work and boycott any spending – otherwise known as what we're doing already." –Bill Maher

"You saw what happened in Oakland, California. Oh my God, the police fired tear gas. You gotta love that mentality. They're there with a crowd of people holding up signs saying 'We can't find a job,' 'we've lost our home,' 'we can't pay for college,' and they think, 'let's make them cry.'" –Bill Maher

"Yesterday the CEO of Citigroup said that he can understand why all these Occupy Wall Street protesters are so frustrated. In fact, he felt so bad for them, he gave himself a $10 million sympathy bonus." –Jimmy Fallon

"I don't know what they are protesting at Occupy Wall Street but I'm on their side. But 10,000 protestors and one Porta Potty?" –David Letterman

"I love the protests. And if you think about it, what better way to send a message to Wall Street than by sitting in a pup tent banging on a drum." –David Letterman

"This Occupy Wall Street movement is now in 1,500 places all around the world. I was at the Occupy Beverly Hills today. It's two Jews at Starbucks complaining that the scones aren't fresh, but still it's a start." –Bill Maher

"Now there's a pushback movement (against Occupy Wall Street). There's a group called the 53%. These are the people who say 47% don't pay any federal taxes (yeah, because they're f**king broke). The 53% say they barely get by, but they don't blame the banks. Their slogan is, 'Let's bend over and take it, America!'" –Bill Maher

"There's so many protestors now they are going to move them out of the park and put them in a pothole. You know, that one over on 8th Avenue." –David Letterman

"The Occupy Wall Street protesters gathered outside Rupert Murdoch's house chanting, 'What do we want?' Murdoch interrupted saying, 'I already know, I hacked your phones.'" –Craig Ferguson

"The Occupy Wall Street protests continue to grow. They've started to attract a very unsavory element — celebrities." -Craig Ferguson

"The Occupy Wall Street protesters traveled around New York to stand outside the mansions of the most wealthy people in New York. Is that protesting or tourism?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"It's the 24th day of the Occupy Wall Street protests, also known as the largest homeless slumber party in the world." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Some protesters brought their kids to the demonstrations. Some of the kids got bored and decided to occupy Sesame Street instead." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Over 700 people who were part of the Occupy Wall Street demonstrations were arrested this past weekend in New York when they tried to block traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. Because there's nothing people on Wall Street hate more than not being able to get to Brooklyn." –Seth Meyers

‎"The 'Occupy Wall Street' movement has basically been a four-week downtown Manhattan live-in, which has spread to cities all around the country, causing the media to move its coverage dial from 'Blackout' to 'Circus.'" –Jon Stewart

"The Occupy Wall Street protests continued in New York City. Today the protests have been going on for four weeks now. That's longer than most NBC sitcoms last." –Jimmy Kimmel

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

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