Funny Tweets About Paul Ryan

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• Paul Ryan Cartoons
• Mitt Romney Cartoons
• Best Mitt Romney Jokes

"Paul Ryan delivers fiery convention speech, and instantly creates thousands of jobs....for Democrat fact checkers." --Capitol Steps

"Paul Ryan looks like the car rental salesman who bullies you into getting full coverage." -Damien Fahey

"How many times a day do you think Paul Ryan calls Mitt 'Dad' by accident?" -Steven Amiri

"Paul Ryan: Obama sucks because he didn't have a time machine he could use to save factories that closed before he was President." -Mike Drucker

"Paul Ryan is the guy Meg Ryan is engaged to when she meets her soulmate." --Mike DiCenzo

"Before taking the stage, Paul Ryan spent 6 hours staring into a mirror working on 'concerned eyebrow.'" --Damien Fahey

"Paul Ryan critcizing the stimulus is like Charlie Sheen criticizing the existence of hookers." --John Fugelsang

"I wonder if Paul Ryan ever thought a hurricane would hit the Republican convention when he voted to cut disaster relief." -Andy Borowitz

"When Romney and Ryan call themselves "America's Comeback Team," they mean they want America to come back to 1860." -Andy Borowitz

"Republicans are as excited about Ryan as they were 4 years ago about a woman they are now banning from the convention." -Andy Borowitz

"I see Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan have taken to calling themselves America's Comeback Team. Cause Pussy Riot was taken." -Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin didn't read. Paul Ryan reads Ayn Rand. This round goes to Palin." -Andy Borowitz

"Not a big fan of Ryan or Ayn Rand, but nice to see a Republican obsessed with a lengthy, dull book that's not the Bible." -Chris Regan

"Paul Ryan made all his interns read Ayn Rand. So I guess we know where he stands on torture." -Andy Borowitz

"Mitt Romney choosing Paul Ryan is like putting a sheet of blank paper inside a manila envelope." -Damien Fahey

"I fear that Paul Ryan's extremist views about rape & abortion will distract us from his extremist views about Social Security & Medicare." -Andy Borowitz

"Paul Ryan seems like the kind of guy you could have a beer with, just before he takes your Medicare away." -Mark Harris

"Ryan has everything you'd want in a VP pick: a face, the ability to stand, a rudimentary understanding of object permanence, everything!" -Stephen Colbert

"Paul Ryan being sworn in as President would be a great last scene in a Planet of the Apes remake." -Andy Borowitz

"Ryan: Trillions Could Be Cut from Budget if We Eliminate Empathy" -Andy Borowitz

"Paul Ryan is Romney's pick for VP. Perfect choice. Ryan's a water boy for the super rich and Mitt Romney is thirsty." -Adam McKay

"Let's not let a bunch of cheap jokes about Paul Ryan looking like Eddie Munster distract us from the fact that he is a sociopath." – Andy Borowitz

"When Mitt Romney called Paul Ryan 'the next president,' it proved that even robots make mistakes." -Mike Birbiglia

"Paul Ryan. Dedicated to the belief that Mitt Romney needs a tax break more than you need Medicare." -LOLGOP

"Saying Paul Ryan is a better pick than Sarah Palin is like saying shampoo is a better drink than poison." -Comedy Central's Indecision

"BREAKING: Less Interesting Person Than Romney Found in Wisconsin" -Andy Borowitz

"Paul Ryan wants to cut food for poor people. That American bastard totally stole that idea from Dad." -KimJongNumberUn

"Paul Ryan has strong, unbreakable beliefs: Like the poor have it too good and billionaires just need a break." –LOLGOP

"Paul Ryan reportedly listens to heavy metal. Megadeth isn't just his favorite band, it's also his healthcare policy." -Comedy Central's Indecision

"Since Romney doesn’t care about poor people, he needed to balance the ticket with someone who doesn’t care about old people." -Andy Borowitz

“Ryan is opposed to Obamacare and Medicare. Also, the word 'care'.” – Andy Borowitz

"Mitt Romney strapping a dog to the roof of his car isn't that bad. Paul Ryan made his dog read Atlas Shrugged." -Comedy Central's Indecision

"If Paul Ryan popped up in the first ten minutes of a Law and Order episode, you’d be all ‘oh, he’s the killer." -Bazecraze

"Remember: you can't spell 'ultimate aryan pride' without 'Paul Ryan.” -Eli Braden

“Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan To Awkwardly Hug, High Five For Next Three Months” –The Onion on Twtitter "Hey girl, you look so cute when you're losing your reproductive rights." -Paul Ryan Gosling

"Hey girl, know how I stay in shape? PX90. Oh, and digging holes to bury Mitt's tax records." -Paul Ryan Gosling

"Hey girl, you don’t need that welfare check for groceries. I got a six-pack right here." -Paul Ryan Gosling

"Hey girl, will you be the wind beneath my right wing?" -Paul Ryan Gosling

"Hey girl, I know I'm only 42, but my ideas on women's rights are over 500 years old." -Paul Ryan Gosling

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