Al Gore Jokes

"In 'those who can't be president teach' news, former Vice President Al Gore presided over his first day of classes at Columbia University today. Nice jacket, Al. What size is that � 42 loser? ... Unfortunately, the class was short several students who accidentally signed up for a Pat Buchanan lecture. ... That's right kids, if you thought Al Gore was a dynamic and exciting politician, just wait until he gets in front of that blackboard." �Craig Kilborn

"You knew this was the kind of thing that was going to happen when they had all of that monkey stuff going on in November, then December and then January; a newspaper in Florida got a hold of the ballots and recounted them. According to their information, Al Gore actually won the election in Florida. Al Gore could not be reached for comment, he was in the teachers lounge at Colombia University mimeographing Friday's pop quiz." �David Letterman

"Hillary Clinton has a brand-new office. Over on the East Side, she's got a huge office space. The rent for this office space � $500k a year. I wonder if that's taxpayer money? Bill Clinton has an office � $500k a year rent. Meanwhile, Al Gore is operating out of a Kinkos up on 96th street." �David Letterman

"President George W. Bush invited two teams of youngsters to play in the first of many photo opportunities on the White House lawn yesterday. Many luminaries were in attendance, including former Vice President Al Gore who played left- out." �Craig Kilborn

"Vice President Cheney and his wife finally moved into the Vice Presidential mansion last week. The move was delayed a month while they re-did the hardwood floors. Apparently, they had to sand over all the scratches made by Al Gore's fingernails as they dragged him out of there." �Jay Leno

"Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia." �Jay Leno

"Yesterday the Secret Service caught a former IRS employee outside the White House after he fired three shots from a gun. That is right, the man was immediately arrested and given a job at the post office. ... The Secret Service said that the last weirdo who came that close to the White House before being stopped was Al Gore." �Conan O'Brien

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman