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Top 10 Jokes About Obama's Birth Certificate

Late-Night Jokes About Bithers and the Fuss Over Obama's Birth Certificate

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Top 10 Jokes About Obama's Birth Certificate
See Also: Cartoons on Obama's Birth Certificate

1. "These people could have personally witnessed Obama being born out of an apple pie, in the middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the National Anthem – and they’d still think he was a Kenyan Muslim." –Jimmy Kimmel

2. "It's important that we, the few, the proud, the reality-based, attack this stuff before it has a chance to fester and spread. This is not a case of Democrats versus Republicans. It's sentient beings versus the lizard people." –Bill Maher, on birtherism

3. "I will show you President Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma." —Bill Maher

4. "The birthers believe that the president was secretly born in Kenya. I always thought he was born in a manger in Jerusalem." –Jimmy Kimmel

5. "Donald Trump said if President Obama releases his birth certificate, he will release his tax returns. The President said, 'Well, I promise not to run for a second term if you release that thing on your head.'" –Conan O'Brien

6. "President Obama released his long-form birth certificate, proving once and for all he was born in this country. But you know, it never ends. Now Republican leaders are saying they want to see the placenta." –Jay Leno

7. "The Federal Trade Commission says for the 11th year in a row the biggest consumer complaint is identity theft. Which led President Obama to say, 'That's why you should never show ANYONE your birth certificate.'" –Jay Leno

8. "The state of Hawaii passed a new law allowing the state government to ignore requests for President Obama's birth certificate from the 'Birthers.' From now on, every future president should be required to be born on camera and in front of a national landmark." –Jimmy Kimmel

9. "A new poll shows that one of the major parties in this country – I won't tell you which one – is a majority birther party. That's right, more than half of Republicans now think Obama was born in Kenya. They literally do not know where babies come from." –Bill Maher

10. "Oh my God, Barack Obama's running the old Kenyan Prince birth announcement scam. Here's how it goes: you want to destroy America from the inside but you can't because you're a foreigner. So first, you gotta find yourself a good ol' American to reproduce for you. Then, you have that child on foreign soil, while simultaneously placing the birth announcement of that child in one of our "fringe" state's local newspapers, your Hawaiis, your Alaskas, your Pennsylvanias. Alright, then, kidding. And then, hold on, you wait. Until this baby is a middle-aged man. Now the trap is set. You just sit back and let that child go out and win the election for President of the United States. Now here's where the scam gets tricky; they can't just win the popular vote. He or she must have a strategy to win the electoral vote; that's what trips up most drifters. But, if you pull it off, you and your puppet child can sit back and destroy the fabric of the country you both hate so much. It's almost too easy." –Jon Stewart

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