Obama Inauguration Jokes

See Jokes About Obama's 2013 Inauguration

"Because of the flubbed oath of office, Chief Justice John Roberts went over to the White House and gave Barack Obama the oath again. Some legal scholars were concerned that because the oath was not given properly, we legally did not have anybody at the helm for 36 hours. 36 hours? We haven't had anybody at the helm for eight years." --Jay Leno

"After going to ten inaugural balls last night and dancing more than Cloris Leachman in nine weeks of 'Dancing With the Stars,' the new president was up and in the office at 8:35 in the morning and then he was at church at 9:30. Is it a good sign that after one hour of being president, he decided the best thing he could do for the country is pray?" --Jimmy Kimmel

"There was a stumbling during the reading of the oath, when the chief justice of the Supreme Court, John Roberts, forgot the words for a second and then he got them in the wrong order. See, how typical is that? Barack, just a second before he takes over, the Republicans get one last screw up in there." --Jay Leno

"And during his inaugural address yesterday, President Barack Obama said, 'Millions of Americans have lost their homes and some of us who still have homes have their mother-in-laws moving in with them.'" --Jay Leno

"This morning, Barack Obama entered the Oval Office for the first time as president and he spent ten minutes alone. Yep. Shows you how things have changed. When President Bush spent ten minutes alone in the Oval Office, it was called a time-out." --Conan O'Brien

"The total cost of the inauguration was $170 million. They say this is the most of the expensive celebration since that last AIG retreat on our bailout money." --Jay Leno

"Well, did you all see Obama’s speech? He said America is finally ready to lead again, to which Bush said: ‘Hey, I’m sitting here! Hello! I'm still here!'" –Jay Leno

"They estimate that around two million people crowded in to the National Mall to see Obama's swearing-in ceremony, which is the first time a mall has been crowded in about a year." --Jimmy Kimmel

"And it was cold. It was so cold in Washington, it felt like Hillary's inauguration … It was so cold, Al Gore led a prayer for global warming. In fact, by the end of the inauguration, everybody’s face looked like Nancy Pelosi." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama is in the latest issue of the 'Spider-Man' comics. That's when you know you're big, when you’re in 'Spider-Man' comics. The story is about how Spider-Man stops bad guys from ruining Barack's inauguration. And psychologists believe this comic book was actually very handy in helping President Bush understand the transition." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama is now the 44th President of the United States. Fascinating. As you know, we've never had an African-American president. We've had a Dutch-American president. We've had an Irish-American president. We’ve even had an incompetent American president. But we've never had an African-American president." –Jay Leno

"This is a true story. Some people alongside Barack Obama’s inaugural parade route got bored waiting for it to start. So, did you see this? They started doing the electric slide. Yeah, apparently, the best way to celebrate our first black president is to do the whitest dance imaginable." --Conan O’Brien

"If you could not afford to go to the inauguration, there's a perfect way to recreate the experience at home. Here's what you do. You playback the tape of Barack, put the air conditioner on full blast, and then stand in line for six hours waiting to use your own bathroom." --Jay Leno

"During the inauguration, Washington, DC, set up prostitution-free zones. Isn't that supposed to be the whole city? I mean, is Washington so corrupt now we just rope off the areas where people actually follow the law?" --Jay Leno

"Officials at the White House say that President Bush completed his last piece of official business in the Oval Office at 6:00 am this morning. Yep. Bush says it should take Obama weeks to find where he hid the dead fish." --Conan O’Brien

"Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts made a mistake during the swearing in of Barack Obama. That's the second mistake the Supreme Court has made with a president, if you count the time they declared Bush the winner." --Jay Leno

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman