Scooter Libby Jokes

"Earlier today, a federal judge sentenced Scooter Libby to 30 months in prison for lying. I believe prison is not the place to be when your nickname is Scooter." --Jay Leno

"Some speculate President Bush will pardon Libby right before he serves jail time, while others ... know he will." --Jon Stewart

"Scooter Libby was found guilty of perjury, obstruction, and making false statements -- or as the White House calls it, a press conference." --Bill Maher

"I say if Bush doesn't pardon him, at least he should give him a new nickname, because if you have Scooter on the back of your prison jump suit, you are just asking for it." --Bill Maher

"The Republican base is furious. They are saying it is wrong to convict someone of perjury and obstruction of justice unless there is proof of an underlying blow job." --Bill Maher

"People are saying Scooter Libby is taking the fall for Cheney. Personally, I think Libby got off easy -- usually when you take one for Cheney, it's a shot in the face" --Jay Leno

"In the Valerie Plame case, Scooter Libby was found not guilty ... on one of the five charges. ... But the media is instead focusing, of course, on the four counts of perjury, lying to the FBI and obstruction of justice for which Libby was convicted. It's typical. They always see the glass as 80% guilty." --Stephen Colbert

"Earlier today, President Bush pardoned the White House turkey. It was just a practice run for Scooter Libby." --David Letterman

"Scooter Libby, who got indicted, has set up a legal defense fund to help pay his legal bills. It's pretty good, for a $1,000 donation you get a hand-written thank you note and the name of a CIA agent." --Jay Leno

"Libby was indicted on two counts of obstruction of justice, three counts of perjury, and one count of not being as smart as Karl Rove." --Jon Stewart

"What did Scooter Libby say when he bumped into President Bush at the White House? ... Pardon me." --Jay Leno

"Outside the courthouse, Libby's lawyer said all he wants to do is clear his client's good name. I don't know, Scooter? Is that a good name?" --Jay Leno

"Vice President Dick Cheney's former assistant, Scooter Libby, pleaded not guilty to the charges against him. Yeah, the weird thing is since his name is Scooter, he's being tried in juvenile court." --Conan O'Brien

"Dick Cheney's right-hand man Scooter Libby has been indicted. By the way, his real name is not Scooter. It's I. Lewis Libby, which will come in handy when he has to say "I Lewis Libby swear to tell the truth, the whole truth.'" --Bill Maher

"This is a blow to Cheney. He is Cheney's Cheney. They say he could finish Cheney sentences, and now he's going to at Leavenworth." --Bill Maher

"They say these two are very close, Libby and Cheney. They say Cheney thought of him as a second lesbian daughter." --Bill Maher

"If convicted Libby could face the following penalties: obstruction of justice: 10 years in prison; making false statements: 5 years; perjury: 4 years; going to jail with the name Scooter: priceless." --Tina Fey

"It looks like there may be more people than just Karl Rove involved in this White House leaking scandal that's been going on. They are saying information may also have been leaked by the Vice President Dick Cheney's top aide -- a man named Scooter Libby. Let me tell you something right now. That is not a good name to have if you're going to prison." --Jay Leno