Midterm Election Jokes

"I'm really looking forward to hearing from George Allen, Republican Senator from Virginia. At a debate last Monday, the senator skirted a question about rumors his mother was Jewish. A day later, he released a statement announcing that the rumors were true, and that he's known about his Jewish heritage for about a month. The guy knew for a month? He didn't say bupkis. Senator Allen, your newfound heritage comes with a heavy responsibility -- making the Republican Party look diverse. Let's face it, the only other famous Republican Jew I can think of is Joe Lieberman. You wasted a whole month, senator, when the big tent could have looked a little bigger. Hey, if Ken Mehlman found out he was black tomorrow, you would know about it." --Stephen Colbert

"Midterms are a few months away. The intensity is picking up. Republican Senator/possible '08 presidential candidate George Allen of Virginia campaigning hard. George Allen was pointing out that his opponent in the Senate race, James Webb had sent someone to videotape all of George Allen's appearances -- which is not a very nice thing to do because George Allen says some really stupid s**t. Like, 'Let's all welcome macaca over here to America.' Although in Allen's defense, he didn't know that the gentleman was already a citizen and didn't need to be welcomed to America, or that his name wasn't 'macaca.' I think Allen just assumed the gentleman looked 'macaca-ish.'" --Jon Stewart

"So where does the race stand now, with just over a month to go? (George) Allen has angered Blacks, Jews and Macacans, while (Jim) Webb has angered Women and The Horny. Virginia, now it's up to you which one of these two men will help you build a bridge, to let's say, the early- to mid- 20th century." --Jon Stewart

"Joe Lieberman lost his own party's nomination. He was beaten by newcomer Ned Lamont, or you might know him as, 'Who? What?' ... But to Joe Lieberman's credit, he was just as dull in defeat as he would have been in victory." --Jay Leno

"A lot of people thought Joe Lieberman lost because of the kiss that President Bush gave him at the State of the Union Address. So let that be a little lesson for all you Democratic senators out there. You want to keep your job, don't make out with President Bush in public." --Jay Leno

"Evidently, low approval ratings can be contracted through saliva." --Stephen Colbert, on the effect of President Bush kissing Joe Lieberman (Watch video clip)