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Democratic Convention Jokes

Late-Night Jokes about the 2008 Democratic National Convention


"Police in Denver are getting ready for the Democratic Convention. They have ordered stun guns, barbed wire and plastic handcuffs. And that's just for Bill Clinton's room." –Craig Ferguson

"The mayor of Denver announced if people at the Democratic Convention sleep in his park, he will turn the sprinklers on them. And he said if John Edwards and his girlfriend show up, he will turn the hose on them. So, there you go." --Jay Leno

"The Democratic party announced this week that Barack Obama will give his acceptance speech at an 80,000-seat stadium, and that they will not serve fried food at the Democratic convention. Those are the two things they announced. Yeah, which begs the question: where are they gonna find 80,000 Americans who don't eat fried food? It's not gonna happen." --Conan O'Brien

"Listen to this, among the catering guidelines for the green convention, this is true, there will be no fried foods at the Democratic convention. And today, Al Gore announced he's switching his support to John McCain. He said 'That's it, you're a bunch of global warming fanatics!'" --Jay Leno

"Actually, you know what's interesting, here's some interesting political trivia for you. The last time that the Democrats had their convention in Denver was when they nominated William Jennings Bryant in 1908. And coincidentally, you know who the Republican nominee was that year? John McCain. It's amazing." --Jay Leno

"Speaking of politics, months ago, months ago, Hillary Clinton's campaign booked hundreds of hotel rooms for the Democratic National Convention, but now that she's out of the race, she doesn't need them anymore. Yeah. So uh just as Hillary's staff was about to cancel the hotel rooms, Bill Clinton said "I'll use 'em.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Speaking of Barack Obama, the Democratic convention is being held at a 20,000 seat arena in Denver, but Barack Obama has decided to give his acceptance speech at Denver's 80,000 seat football stadium. Yeah, 80,000 seat football stadium, that's pretty impressive. Yeah, meanwhile, Ralph Nader will be giving his acceptance speech at a Foot Locker." --Conan O'Brien

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman
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